1) May 2021 Performance Review:
Well, I made back what I lost last month but I really fucked up today.
I clearly said to myself "don't trade on last day of the month", and I ended up finishing my session with like 20+ degen scalps blowing 18% of my account.
Well, I made back what I lost last month but I really fucked up today.
I clearly said to myself "don't trade on last day of the month", and I ended up finishing my session with like 20+ degen scalps blowing 18% of my account.
2) Really fucking frustrated.... My rule is CLEARLY "3 L's in a row, it's time to stop." but of course instead of taking a break, my retard brain decided that perhaps cranking up the leverage and increasing my trade frequency was the right play.
God I hate myself sometimes.
God I hate myself sometimes.
3) I got booted from Prop for pretty much the same reason.
Even though I was seeing a psychologist to help me, if I have one of those days where my mind isn't right I'll get angry and fuck everything up.
Even though I was seeing a psychologist to help me, if I have one of those days where my mind isn't right I'll get angry and fuck everything up.
4) Hours spent to improve as a trader:
I was researching fitness/health stuff for most of this month so I didn't really put much time towards trading until end of month.
Tried my best when I had time, but ultimately my emotions are the problem, not my trading execution.
I was researching fitness/health stuff for most of this month so I didn't really put much time towards trading until end of month.
Tried my best when I had time, but ultimately my emotions are the problem, not my trading execution.
5) My scalp execution actually got a lot better, patience with waiting for A+ setups improved dramatically... But no matter how I look at myself, I'm still a fucking mental wreck.
So there is no point to continue with discretionary trading until I fix my mental issues.
So there is no point to continue with discretionary trading until I fix my mental issues.
6) Diet:
Was so close to hitting my 1900 cal/day goal! Hit a new ATH with my avg. cals consumed per day though so I'm happy.
Had a few days of high anxiety and instead of fasting I managed to eat at least 1 or 2 meals. Pretty proud of my progress here.
Was so close to hitting my 1900 cal/day goal! Hit a new ATH with my avg. cals consumed per day though so I'm happy.
Had a few days of high anxiety and instead of fasting I managed to eat at least 1 or 2 meals. Pretty proud of my progress here.
7) Exercise:
Consistency this month slightly dropped. But tbh it's fine because my workout routine is like 10x harder than it was before and I've made HUGE progress in strength.
Consistency this month slightly dropped. But tbh it's fine because my workout routine is like 10x harder than it was before and I've made HUGE progress in strength.
8) Stretching:
I have shit mobility and I probably need to stretch every day to fix it. I also need to stretch post-workout but I don't because I lack discipline.
Will need to fix this up for next month.
I have shit mobility and I probably need to stretch every day to fix it. I also need to stretch post-workout but I don't because I lack discipline.
Will need to fix this up for next month.
9) Meditation:
Worst month so far for this. I have pretty bad mental problems so I should be doing this daily, but I slacked off hard and paid the price this month...well, especially today.
Worst month so far for this. I have pretty bad mental problems so I should be doing this daily, but I slacked off hard and paid the price this month...well, especially today.
10) Daily Reviews:
Slightly better discipline with reviewing how I did at the end of the day. The reviews keep me grounded, so I still need to work on this alot.
Slightly better discipline with reviewing how I did at the end of the day. The reviews keep me grounded, so I still need to work on this alot.
11) My priority this month again was put towards my workouts + diet.... but it was a big mistake to give scalping another shot before my mental health issues were addressed.
12) Sure I was up 6% and I think I was doing fine, then I lost 1% but my tilt rules were broken, so then I went on to degen and lost another 17%. So net PNL via scalping was -12%.
I have no choice but to discontinue LTF until I'm getting perfect scores on my IRL goals.
I have no choice but to discontinue LTF until I'm getting perfect scores on my IRL goals.
13) Sure I ended this month in profit, but honestly I'm in a lot of pain.
I'm only up 37% on my account since the year started (avg. 7%/month) , would have been a lot more if it wasn't for me going full fucking retard today.
Is what it is.... I'll make it back I guess.
I'm only up 37% on my account since the year started (avg. 7%/month) , would have been a lot more if it wasn't for me going full fucking retard today.
Is what it is.... I'll make it back I guess.
14) Being transparent with performance + emotional/mental issues is really tough. I had a lot on my plate in my personal life recently.
I'll be keeping my head down and staying on the grind this new month.
I'll be keeping my head down and staying on the grind this new month.
Oh right I forgot to link the previous month's review:
Also feel free to join my discord for the logs of all my trades, previous reviews and also some banter: discord.gg
Also feel free to join my discord for the logs of all my trades, previous reviews and also some banter: discord.gg
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