I was in Nairobi Hospital last weekend when this boy of about 11-13 years started bawling. He'd lost a game on the phone, & was upset at his mother, for suggesting that he try again. Modern African mothers have abundant love, but are quite lacking on the authority end.

You are setting your son up for bullying & life-long ostracization if you cannot enforce boundaries and discipline. The world outside there, especially in Africa, is not as tolerant for the boy as you'd imagine. They will not listen to, "he is quite a sweet boy on the inside".

For every inconvenience dealt, there will be repercussions for your son. Unless you are extremely wealthy, your protection of him can only go so far. Without a sense of boundaries/discipline, your son becomes a burden to avoid or deal with; not a human.

If a boy is needy, except for disorders, it is because you condone it. As a single mother, do this experiment: This weekend, ask a trusted male friend/brother/colleague to hang out with your kid outside your presence. Tell him to record snippets. You will see the difference.