Unpopular opinion:
Kids don't need to learn how to share
It's not a skill that adults use day-to-day
When's the last time you had to let someone else you barely know have a turn using your phone?
It doesn't happen.
7 Harmful Effects of Making Kids Share:
๐งต
Kids don't need to learn how to share
It's not a skill that adults use day-to-day
When's the last time you had to let someone else you barely know have a turn using your phone?
It doesn't happen.
7 Harmful Effects of Making Kids Share:
๐งต
1. Sharing damages the parent-child relationship
When children are forced to share they will feel frustrated and resentful
Your bond with your children is *everything* in parenting
There's nothing it's worth sacrificing it for
When children are forced to share they will feel frustrated and resentful
Your bond with your children is *everything* in parenting
There's nothing it's worth sacrificing it for
2. Sharing discourages empathy
Forcing kids to share leads them to focus on how upset they are about losing the toy rather than considering how their playmates might feel if they got a chance to have it
Forcing kids to share leads them to focus on how upset they are about losing the toy rather than considering how their playmates might feel if they got a chance to have it
3. Sharing asks the impossible
Sharing is a complex social skill
Expecting toddlers to be able to navigate the necessary negotiation and problem solving is asking too much of them
Sharing is a complex social skill
Expecting toddlers to be able to navigate the necessary negotiation and problem solving is asking too much of them
4. Sharing teaches kids that they don't own anything
Unless you want to raise little Communists don't teach your kids that they can't have property
Learning to manage things that belong to you is an essential life skill that kids need to learn
Unless you want to raise little Communists don't teach your kids that they can't have property
Learning to manage things that belong to you is an essential life skill that kids need to learn
Consider what sharing is like from a toddler's perspective:
Their toys are one of their few treasured possessions
Asking them to let another child have it (who doesn't treasure it) is a bit risk to them
And for all they know, they'll never get it back in one piece (or at all)
Their toys are one of their few treasured possessions
Asking them to let another child have it (who doesn't treasure it) is a bit risk to them
And for all they know, they'll never get it back in one piece (or at all)
5. Sharing teaches kids consent doesn't matter
When parents force children to do things they're uncomfortable they learn that they don't have the right to say "no"
When parents force children to do things they're uncomfortable they learn that they don't have the right to say "no"
6. Sharing creates power struggles
Sharing often entails a parent trying to pressure their child to hand over their toy
Don't be surprised when your child also starts pressuring you to do things for them using manipulative tactics like crying or tantrums
Sharing often entails a parent trying to pressure their child to hand over their toy
Don't be surprised when your child also starts pressuring you to do things for them using manipulative tactics like crying or tantrums
7. Sharing doesn't teach kids to share
When kids are forced to share they don't learn how to let others use their things and how they'll feel when they do
Learning to comply with forced sharing is not the same as learning why they should want to share
When kids are forced to share they don't learn how to let others use their things and how they'll feel when they do
Learning to comply with forced sharing is not the same as learning why they should want to share
7 Harmful Effects of Making Kids Share:
1. Sharing damages the parent-child relationship
2. Sharing discourages empathy
3. Sharing asks the impossible
4. Sharing teaches kids that they don't own anything
5. Sharing teaches kids consent doesn't matter
6. Sharing creates power struggles
7. Sharing doesn't teach kids to share
1. Sharing damages the parent-child relationship
2. Sharing discourages empathy
3. Sharing asks the impossible
4. Sharing teaches kids that they don't own anything
5. Sharing teaches kids consent doesn't matter
6. Sharing creates power struggles
7. Sharing doesn't teach kids to share
Want to learn the specifics about how to Peaceful Parent?
I'm launching paid private online community to help parents do just that
Join the waitlist:
docs.google.com
I'm launching paid private online community to help parents do just that
Join the waitlist:
docs.google.com
Loading suggestions...