A few years ago we were in a terrible marriage.
Our house wasn’t a home, it was a war zone.
We didn’t speak days at a time.
-We said the D word
-All we have almost wasn’t
-My kids could’ve not had a dad around
Last night my wife said,
This is better than our honeymoon!
Our house wasn’t a home, it was a war zone.
We didn’t speak days at a time.
-We said the D word
-All we have almost wasn’t
-My kids could’ve not had a dad around
Last night my wife said,
This is better than our honeymoon!
Men,
I beg you it all starts with you!
Here’s 20 things that helped us that maybe others can find value in.
Everyones situation is unique
but hopefully you can takeaway something from these.
We need loving homes & present strong families now more than ever!
I beg you it all starts with you!
Here’s 20 things that helped us that maybe others can find value in.
Everyones situation is unique
but hopefully you can takeaway something from these.
We need loving homes & present strong families now more than ever!
1) Prioritize your family above all else.
This means making a CHOICE to
-work less
-watch less TV
-set boundaries with friends
Men, fill yourself up first.
I wake at 5am to:
-train
-journal
-pray for my family
Then,
I am ready to pour into them!
It starts with you men!!
This means making a CHOICE to
-work less
-watch less TV
-set boundaries with friends
Men, fill yourself up first.
I wake at 5am to:
-train
-journal
-pray for my family
Then,
I am ready to pour into them!
It starts with you men!!
2) We quit “watching a show” every night in bed
Sitting in silence watching a show is a crappy excuse 2 connect.
We quit:
❌ Hulu
❌ Cable
❌Netflix
❌HBOGO
If we watch something now,
we are learning together!
We are interacting!
No TV in the bedroom!
Only sleep & sex!😴🔥❤️
Sitting in silence watching a show is a crappy excuse 2 connect.
We quit:
❌ Hulu
❌ Cable
❌Netflix
❌HBOGO
If we watch something now,
we are learning together!
We are interacting!
No TV in the bedroom!
Only sleep & sex!😴🔥❤️
3) Five Love languages
-Gifts
-Quality time
-Physical touch
-Acts of service
-Words of affirmation
Discover what they desire & focus on that!
If his is touch & you only spend time, he won’t feel desired.
If hers is time, & you only do things for her she won’t feel filled up!
-Gifts
-Quality time
-Physical touch
-Acts of service
-Words of affirmation
Discover what they desire & focus on that!
If his is touch & you only spend time, he won’t feel desired.
If hers is time, & you only do things for her she won’t feel filled up!
4) NEVER KEEP SCORE!
I recently tweeted
“If you keep score in a relationship or marriage you’ll both lose.”
Stop the poisonous attitude of
I did dishes, laundry & trash it’s his/her turn!
You are teammates.
You are lovers.
Act like it!!
End score keeping so you can both win!!
I recently tweeted
“If you keep score in a relationship or marriage you’ll both lose.”
Stop the poisonous attitude of
I did dishes, laundry & trash it’s his/her turn!
You are teammates.
You are lovers.
Act like it!!
End score keeping so you can both win!!
5) I took extreme ownership
I read @jockowillink📚& applied the lessons to my marriage
-She’s not doing something I like, then it’s ON ME to communicate.
-Every aspect of our relationship is on me
-0 excuses.
Comes down 2 being a BOY vs being a MAN & taking ownership.
LEAD!
I read @jockowillink📚& applied the lessons to my marriage
-She’s not doing something I like, then it’s ON ME to communicate.
-Every aspect of our relationship is on me
-0 excuses.
Comes down 2 being a BOY vs being a MAN & taking ownership.
LEAD!
6) Credit to @FitFounder on this!
✅Create a family vision board
✅Audit goals & measure success
✅Share victories & wins everyday
✅Talk about shared goals & dreams
✅We hire a sitter every week for 3 hours so my wife & I have OUR TIME! ❤️🔥
Date your spouse ferociously!!
✅Create a family vision board
✅Audit goals & measure success
✅Share victories & wins everyday
✅Talk about shared goals & dreams
✅We hire a sitter every week for 3 hours so my wife & I have OUR TIME! ❤️🔥
Date your spouse ferociously!!
7) We saw a counselor & got professional help & tips from an expert.
It was critical having a mediator that helped us break thru & get out of our own way.
We got into ruts & what we now refer to as the crazy cycle.
She helped us identify them & defeat them before they spiraled.
It was critical having a mediator that helped us break thru & get out of our own way.
We got into ruts & what we now refer to as the crazy cycle.
She helped us identify them & defeat them before they spiraled.
8) Keep family & friends out of disagreements!
This was a big problem,
❌We would disagree & she would call her mom & get validated
❌Simultaneously I called mine & got the same
(Don’t do this men🤦♂️)
If we have problems,
We communicate with each other & keep it in house!!
This was a big problem,
❌We would disagree & she would call her mom & get validated
❌Simultaneously I called mine & got the same
(Don’t do this men🤦♂️)
If we have problems,
We communicate with each other & keep it in house!!
9) Men only!
Listen & validate don’t fix!
Our instincts when she’s sharing a struggle is:
❌Fix
❌Get defensive
She’s not wanting us to fix!!
Its her way of connecting & sharing life💡
✅Listen & validate her
✅Let her know you care instead of quickly responding to do this!
Listen & validate don’t fix!
Our instincts when she’s sharing a struggle is:
❌Fix
❌Get defensive
She’s not wanting us to fix!!
Its her way of connecting & sharing life💡
✅Listen & validate her
✅Let her know you care instead of quickly responding to do this!
10) Be adventurous & playful
I’ll share a tame one,
use your imagination for others!
We will take our rings off & after I drop her at the door.
I’ll meet her at the bar and pick her up!
❤️She enjoys being pursued like when we were dating!
❤️Led to many fun scenarios!
👉👌🔥
I’ll share a tame one,
use your imagination for others!
We will take our rings off & after I drop her at the door.
I’ll meet her at the bar and pick her up!
❤️She enjoys being pursued like when we were dating!
❤️Led to many fun scenarios!
👉👌🔥
11) Mandatory date Nights with no kids!
🔥Have fun together
🔥Laugh go out & be silly
At home it can get so monotonous:
-did u pack lunches
-get the laundry done
-I took the trash out etc.
Every week we hire sitters and go out for a fun adult only date night to connect & grow!
🔥Have fun together
🔥Laugh go out & be silly
At home it can get so monotonous:
-did u pack lunches
-get the laundry done
-I took the trash out etc.
Every week we hire sitters and go out for a fun adult only date night to connect & grow!
12) Quit porn 100%
I always justified it as
-Stress reliever
-Not a big deal
BUT
I knew deep down it was harmful to my marriage.
My queen knows she is the only woman I look at, fantasize about, & lust after!!
This has 1000x our marriage & love life!! ❤️🔥
I always justified it as
-Stress reliever
-Not a big deal
BUT
I knew deep down it was harmful to my marriage.
My queen knows she is the only woman I look at, fantasize about, & lust after!!
This has 1000x our marriage & love life!! ❤️🔥
13 Connect with fun, physical activities as a family
We watch no TV, instead we:
✅Hike
✅Swim
✅Ride bikes
✅Plank challenges
✅Family dance contests
✅Relay races with our dog
✅Read books outside at sunset
✅Weekend getaways & exploring
We watch no TV, instead we:
✅Hike
✅Swim
✅Ride bikes
✅Plank challenges
✅Family dance contests
✅Relay races with our dog
✅Read books outside at sunset
✅Weekend getaways & exploring
14 “Take your family on adventures!”
My favorite tweet from @manslife
I have embraced that & led my family on:
✅scavenger hunts
✅challenging hikes
✅picnics & sunset walks
✅fun date nights with the wife
-Create fun & challenging adventures!
-You’ll grow closer as a unit!!
My favorite tweet from @manslife
I have embraced that & led my family on:
✅scavenger hunts
✅challenging hikes
✅picnics & sunset walks
✅fun date nights with the wife
-Create fun & challenging adventures!
-You’ll grow closer as a unit!!
15) Speak life to one another, leave notes & love letters ❤️
A few years ago we never built one another up.
It was nagging & complaints.
-Now, it’s our mission to try & give one another energy & show gratitude for all the other does!
-Be the biggest cheerleader & supporter!
A few years ago we never built one another up.
It was nagging & complaints.
-Now, it’s our mission to try & give one another energy & show gratitude for all the other does!
-Be the biggest cheerleader & supporter!
16) Never speak bad about your spouse in front of others.
❌Even if it’s a joke this must be off limits!
✅Build them up in front of others always!
-Like you were taught,
if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything!!
-Kindness wins, especially in marriage!
❌Even if it’s a joke this must be off limits!
✅Build them up in front of others always!
-Like you were taught,
if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything!!
-Kindness wins, especially in marriage!
17) Men, seek other men that you can share community with.
We need other men to help us navigate life at times & lean into.
✅I have two groups that study the Bible & share life together.
✅I’m grateful for & seek men like @ZachHomol to help & give wise counsel & advice!
We need other men to help us navigate life at times & lean into.
✅I have two groups that study the Bible & share life together.
✅I’m grateful for & seek men like @ZachHomol to help & give wise counsel & advice!
18) Do some activities apart!
We give each other time away to refill & recharge.
A guys night out or girls weekend is always welcomed & accepted with NO GUILT!!
🔥We take at least a trip a year apart.
🔥Absence makes the heart grow fonder & we always come back recharged!
We give each other time away to refill & recharge.
A guys night out or girls weekend is always welcomed & accepted with NO GUILT!!
🔥We take at least a trip a year apart.
🔥Absence makes the heart grow fonder & we always come back recharged!
19) Model the behaviors I desire
@limitlessleila said,
“You are better off not preaching behaviors if you won’t live them out”
This challenged me so much.
I can’t ask my wife to do things I’m not doing!
✅Putting her 1st
✅Intentional listening
✅NEVER COMPLAINING
@limitlessleila said,
“You are better off not preaching behaviors if you won’t live them out”
This challenged me so much.
I can’t ask my wife to do things I’m not doing!
✅Putting her 1st
✅Intentional listening
✅NEVER COMPLAINING
20) Men,
She she needs to be your #1.
Think when you were first dating.
Love notes, date her fiercely & keep pursuing her!!
Women,
Even more than love, he needs your RESPECT.
Trust his judgment!
Build his ego & he will slay dragons for you!
We read this book together. 🔥🔥
She she needs to be your #1.
Think when you were first dating.
Love notes, date her fiercely & keep pursuing her!!
Women,
Even more than love, he needs your RESPECT.
Trust his judgment!
Build his ego & he will slay dragons for you!
We read this book together. 🔥🔥
Having an on fire marriage & spouse that supports you is the best!
“They are no longer two, but one flesh. What God has joined, let no one separate.”
-Mathew 19:6
Thanks for reading 🙏
Now go call your S/O & tell them how much you love them & are grateful for them!❤️
“They are no longer two, but one flesh. What God has joined, let no one separate.”
-Mathew 19:6
Thanks for reading 🙏
Now go call your S/O & tell them how much you love them & are grateful for them!❤️
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