Dear women returning to the workforce,
I'm donating some of my time to mentor you because you're helpless and need a man to explain things. You're welcome.
1. Everything's racist now, especially you (if you're white) and the company you're working for. Quit or die, bigot.
I'm donating some of my time to mentor you because you're helpless and need a man to explain things. You're welcome.
1. Everything's racist now, especially you (if you're white) and the company you're working for. Quit or die, bigot.
2. Why did you leave the workforce in the first place? To be a mom? Pathetic. You wasted years you could have been working. Sure, you can take another crack at it, but you're old now and won't amount to much. And you must never forgive yourself.
3. Men are now allowed in women's restrooms. This may seem like a privacy violation to youβand you might want to complain to HR about itβbut your privacy rights end where a delusional man's feelings begin. We call this "progress." It's beautiful. And super safe.
4. Your birthday is always cause for celebration, but so is your recent abortion (since it frees you up to work more). Next time you snuff out a little life inside you, don't sit home and sulk. Come to work and "shout your abortion." They'll force a baker to make you a cake.
5. Sexual harassment is terrible, but it doesn't have to actually happen to you for you to get a ton of attention and sympathy. People always believe women now, no matter what, because men are pure evil. (Unless the man is a Democrat. Then you're a damned liar.)
6. Your husband deserves a ton of credit for letting you go back to work when he could have insisted you stay home. Don't stay too late at work tonight so you still have time to cook later.
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