Why black men shut you out in turmoil:
1. You weaponize their low moments/truths.
2. You made it clear that struggle (particularly financial) is a weakness.
3. Social conditioning (negligible)
4. Women subscribe to emotion-focused coping, men to problem-focused coping.

If it were 2 or 3 men saying this, your counter arguments would hold. This is the entire earth of black men, telling you... that you are doing something wrong.
It's simple maths, men experiment with little truths earlier on: if this is not met with calm optimism, they adjust.

In social issues, we have the positivists & the normativists. I have found most women to be in the latter, possibly why revolution, of any kind, & ethics as a demand, must be inspired by them. Men deal with the world as is, not as it ought to be. That's how they approach problems

So no, "you'll be fine" sounds exotic but is not a solution. Neither does making the problem about you.
When we call our brothers, they say "here are your options. Good & bad".
When we call you, you say, "what are you going to do?".
Loads of help there, Nancy!