THREAD🧵
Money is the leading cause of DIVORCE and conflicts in marriages.
For most marriages, if they don't get it right with money, their marriage never works.
Here's how to manage money in marriage👇👇
Money is the leading cause of DIVORCE and conflicts in marriages.
For most marriages, if they don't get it right with money, their marriage never works.
Here's how to manage money in marriage👇👇
Sources of Money Problems in Marriage.
1/ Not talking about money
Money talks are one of the most difficult for partners.
For many, the topic goes without mention in dating.
In most cases, money talks only happen when the disagreements have intensified.
1/ Not talking about money
Money talks are one of the most difficult for partners.
For many, the topic goes without mention in dating.
In most cases, money talks only happen when the disagreements have intensified.
2/ A Mismatch of Money Mindsets.
A Saver and a Spendthrift will have a hard time when making financial decisions together.
A financial illiterate partner will not understand the importance of saving, cutting down on expenses and planning for retirement.
A Saver and a Spendthrift will have a hard time when making financial decisions together.
A financial illiterate partner will not understand the importance of saving, cutting down on expenses and planning for retirement.
3/ Dishonesty
This starts before marriage where partners do not disclose the assets and liabilities they are bringing into marriage.
Dishonesty about money issues quickly impairs the trust created in marriage.
This starts before marriage where partners do not disclose the assets and liabilities they are bringing into marriage.
Dishonesty about money issues quickly impairs the trust created in marriage.
4/ Money isn't the problem.
Most matters concerning money in a relationship are not about money at all.
Partners tend to express their anger or unhappiness with other issues in the marriage by faking money issues.
Most matters concerning money in a relationship are not about money at all.
Partners tend to express their anger or unhappiness with other issues in the marriage by faking money issues.
5/ Power Play
It's not the lack of money that brings conflicts.
It's how one spouse uses the differences in financial positions to manipulate the other.
The partner who is ahead financially sees the other as a burden to them as they don't contribute much to their finances.
It's not the lack of money that brings conflicts.
It's how one spouse uses the differences in financial positions to manipulate the other.
The partner who is ahead financially sees the other as a burden to them as they don't contribute much to their finances.
Three Ways to Manage Money in Marriage
1/ Use a Joint Account.
Both partners deposit money into a joint account.
They use this account to settle all their bills, expenses, save and invest together.
It's easy to track and settle expenses as you use one account.
1/ Use a Joint Account.
Both partners deposit money into a joint account.
They use this account to settle all their bills, expenses, save and invest together.
It's easy to track and settle expenses as you use one account.
For this to work, you have to align your spending habits and financial goals.
If not, resentment will arise as one partner will judge the spending habits of the other.
Conflicts will follow as one partner may not be happy about how the other spends their money.
If not, resentment will arise as one partner will judge the spending habits of the other.
Conflicts will follow as one partner may not be happy about how the other spends their money.
2/ Use Separate Accounts.
Lovers maintain their separate accounts but come up with a plan on how to cater for shared expenses.
They decide who pays for what and when.
Works well for partners with different money mindsets and financial goals.
Lovers maintain their separate accounts but come up with a plan on how to cater for shared expenses.
They decide who pays for what and when.
Works well for partners with different money mindsets and financial goals.
If not done well, this may bring division into the marriage or family more so when you have kids and other dependents.
It's also hard to split expenses when you have so many shared expenses.
Keeping record of who owes who and what amount may bring disagreements.
It's also hard to split expenses when you have so many shared expenses.
Keeping record of who owes who and what amount may bring disagreements.
3/ Using both joint and separate accounts.
You have to open and manage both personal and joint accounts.
Both partners contribute to the joint account and they still have money they can use to meet other personal expenses.
You have to open and manage both personal and joint accounts.
Both partners contribute to the joint account and they still have money they can use to meet other personal expenses.
Cleary set what expenses you will meet with the joint account.
Here, you can customize this method to enjoy the benefits of both separate and joint accounts,
While using it to offset the demerits of the two.
Here, you can customize this method to enjoy the benefits of both separate and joint accounts,
While using it to offset the demerits of the two.
Which method should you use?
The one that works best for you as a couple.
Just because one method worked for another couple does not mean that it has to work for you.
One method may not work for you all through.
Choose the best one depending on the stage of your marriage.
The one that works best for you as a couple.
Just because one method worked for another couple does not mean that it has to work for you.
One method may not work for you all through.
Choose the best one depending on the stage of your marriage.
How to stop fighting about money.
1/ Hold regular money discussions.
If you do not have time for money discussion, your marriage may not have time for you either.
Plan to sit with your partner at least once a month and discuss how you will manage your finances.
1/ Hold regular money discussions.
If you do not have time for money discussion, your marriage may not have time for you either.
Plan to sit with your partner at least once a month and discuss how you will manage your finances.
2/ Share your financial history & future.
Before marriage, make sure you know all the assets and liabilities that your partner brings into marriage.
Note the financial risks you are associating yourself with.
The person you marry will affect your future financial position.
Before marriage, make sure you know all the assets and liabilities that your partner brings into marriage.
Note the financial risks you are associating yourself with.
The person you marry will affect your future financial position.
3/ Be Honest
Honesty is of importance whenever you are talking about money.
Dishonesty about money quickly destroys the trust you have in your partner.
Honesty is of importance whenever you are talking about money.
Dishonesty about money quickly destroys the trust you have in your partner.
4/ Have a 'Fun Money' section on your Budget.
Here, drop the rule of having to be answerable of every coin spent.
Allow each other to spend some of your income on the things you like without questioning or having to make any explanations.
Here, drop the rule of having to be answerable of every coin spent.
Allow each other to spend some of your income on the things you like without questioning or having to make any explanations.
5/ Be empathetic
Be understanding when judging your partner's spending habits.
You are dealing with your life partner, not a robber.
Don't call them 'irresponsible' or 'foolish' just because they made a money mistake.
Be understanding when judging your partner's spending habits.
You are dealing with your life partner, not a robber.
Don't call them 'irresponsible' or 'foolish' just because they made a money mistake.
Bottom line:
Fights never end, learn to fight well.
Money disagreements will not end just because you have a plan in place, they will only reduce.
Make sure you communicate well and maintain utter honesty at all times.
Fights never end, learn to fight well.
Money disagreements will not end just because you have a plan in place, they will only reduce.
Make sure you communicate well and maintain utter honesty at all times.
That's it on money management in marriage.
If you would like to read more on this. Check out my article.
kenyanwallstreet.com
If you would like to read more on this. Check out my article.
kenyanwallstreet.com
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TL;DR
To stop fighting about money in marriage;
1. Hold regular discussions about money.
2. Share your financial history and future.
3. Be honest and empathetic when talking about money.
4. Have a "fun money" section in your budget.
To stop fighting about money in marriage;
1. Hold regular discussions about money.
2. Share your financial history and future.
3. Be honest and empathetic when talking about money.
4. Have a "fun money" section in your budget.
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