Signs to know you have entered an overpriced restaurant.
1. Waiter
If the waiters are dressing better than you or you are wearing same waistcoat as waiter.
Run...just be going
If the waiters are dressing better than you or you are wearing same waistcoat as waiter.
Run...just be going
2. Menu
Menu is different from brochure. If the menu is laminated you can even curse the manager but if you see menu wey look like office journal hardcover with no pricing you are “Died”
You what? You RAAAN
Menu is different from brochure. If the menu is laminated you can even curse the manager but if you see menu wey look like office journal hardcover with no pricing you are “Died”
You what? You RAAAN
3. Music
Please if the restaurant is playing Frank Sinatra or Jazz or even Violin you made mistake.
If it’s African hits...still be careful .
⚠️ if you hear Sade Adu or Fela in the background.
Just wash plate
Please if the restaurant is playing Frank Sinatra or Jazz or even Violin you made mistake.
If it’s African hits...still be careful .
⚠️ if you hear Sade Adu or Fela in the background.
Just wash plate
4. Temperature
If the room is freezing cold like abroad airport especially when you can’t see where the cold is coming from....they are about to use you to pay the restaurant tax.
It’s a trick to cool you down
The Colder the Colder.....
If the room is freezing cold like abroad airport especially when you can’t see where the cold is coming from....they are about to use you to pay the restaurant tax.
It’s a trick to cool you down
The Colder the Colder.....
5. Lighting
I don’t need to explain too much. You see Chandelier hanging over you with gold light...you don enter museum.
You still dey follow waiter talk..ok
I don’t need to explain too much. You see Chandelier hanging over you with gold light...you don enter museum.
You still dey follow waiter talk..ok
6. Customers
Check well o. Look at what the men are wearing to gauge..not the ladies..the men!!
You see man wearing shoe you still dey sit well ok..
No offense but if you see Mumbai people or Chinese be calm.
If it’s Lebanese or actual Americans /whites you are finished
Check well o. Look at what the men are wearing to gauge..not the ladies..the men!!
You see man wearing shoe you still dey sit well ok..
No offense but if you see Mumbai people or Chinese be calm.
If it’s Lebanese or actual Americans /whites you are finished
7. Car Park
Bro a Ferrari or Gwagon are littered and security (that is dressing like paramilitary ) is checking your booth before they scan your Iris before you enter.
If the car park is a building..reverse Go to Mama Cass
Parking fee is the beginning of your woesss
Bro a Ferrari or Gwagon are littered and security (that is dressing like paramilitary ) is checking your booth before they scan your Iris before you enter.
If the car park is a building..reverse Go to Mama Cass
Parking fee is the beginning of your woesss
8. Mode of Payment
When the payment option is too much ..I’m not talking of Cash or Atm darling.
“Sir we also take bitcoin”kind of payment..
Dorime ! If you no wash I wan know why
When the payment option is too much ..I’m not talking of Cash or Atm darling.
“Sir we also take bitcoin”kind of payment..
Dorime ! If you no wash I wan know why
9. Location.
When Google map is excited to even suggest the location...you don mess up.
You are narrowing down search to Lekki,Ikoyi...or serious ikeja you like pain.
You go to Ikeja ..Jokes on you!!!
Ajah/Sangotedo is not island ... so you are safe。
When Google map is excited to even suggest the location...you don mess up.
You are narrowing down search to Lekki,Ikoyi...or serious ikeja you like pain.
You go to Ikeja ..Jokes on you!!!
Ajah/Sangotedo is not island ... so you are safe。
Miscellaneous
If you are in this category it’s already late.
Food portion
When the serving is like sample of the food, when they serve you oyster or caviar.
Different size of spoon (when spoon is heavy asf)
If you are in this category it’s already late.
Food portion
When the serving is like sample of the food, when they serve you oyster or caviar.
Different size of spoon (when spoon is heavy asf)
ALWAYS CHECK THE CEILING PLEASE
If the ceiling reminds you of the Vatican or there’s one painting hanging around.
If they even get statue and Nice background
If the ceiling reminds you of the Vatican or there’s one painting hanging around.
If they even get statue and Nice background
ALWAYS CHECK THE TOILET
Music and AC follow you enter toilet and the flush na button.
Soap to wash hand na Lynx gel .
Run. Leave the person that is waiting for you.
Music and AC follow you enter toilet and the flush na button.
Soap to wash hand na Lynx gel .
Run. Leave the person that is waiting for you.
Excellent Customer Care
They send you email appreciating you ...how dem get my email I no know.
“We the Le Varous say a big thank you for your excellent patronage.
We pride ourselves in giving customers the best experience “
They send you email appreciating you ...how dem get my email I no know.
“We the Le Varous say a big thank you for your excellent patronage.
We pride ourselves in giving customers the best experience “
Me: contemplating breaking my @PiggyBankNG savings
When you start using 4 different payment mode .
“I have 15k with me now..I will borrow my customer’s insurance premium of N300k he’s still young e no fit die now..then seize 100k Ajo....then the twins school fees and a 0.09Eth”
“I have 15k with me now..I will borrow my customer’s insurance premium of N300k he’s still young e no fit die now..then seize 100k Ajo....then the twins school fees and a 0.09Eth”
Follow me for more ways to avoid things from my experience...
😘
😘
Any small thing “Grand Deluxe”..
Everybody :fish
Island Restaurant: “Le fisheux “ 😡
Everybody :fish
Island Restaurant: “Le fisheux “ 😡
The Audacity to now put Donation Jar outside
“For Every dollar you donate...a child will have brea.....”
Lagosians:
“For Every dollar you donate...a child will have brea.....”
Lagosians:
You go dey answer question dem no ask you...
“Swiss kebab will go well with it Sir”
*scribbles order wey e papa go sort
“Scratch that... I don’t really like Swiss kebab I am lactose intolerant “
“Swiss kebab will go well with it Sir”
*scribbles order wey e papa go sort
“Scratch that... I don’t really like Swiss kebab I am lactose intolerant “
“Did you get all what I said?”
Lekki Waiter: yes sir it’s connected to my neuralink database sir.
Osheyyy Elon Musk
Lekki Waiter: yes sir it’s connected to my neuralink database sir.
Osheyyy Elon Musk
Or the one where the owner of the restaurant dey form greeting and selfie with client..
“Valentine is a day of love...Hope our experience is up to par guys...let’s make a memory together “
Manager:
“Valentine is a day of love...Hope our experience is up to par guys...let’s make a memory together “
Manager:
“Cash or POS noble Sir”
“Kind”
“Kind”
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