One time, I was at her bedside during Mama’s sick period at UCH, Ibadan. Mama was asleep or so I thought. I carried on a phone conversation with my friend about a boy whom I knew I shouldn’t want but I wanted anyway.
When the call ended, I looked up and saw Mama looking at me.
When the call ended, I looked up and saw Mama looking at me.
Even though she was frail, her eyes were intense as she looked at me, her grip on my wrist, firm, and her voice remained strong as she said, “You’re so strong emotionally yet your heart is so soft. Most times, I think you’ll do fine without me if I die,”
“You’re not dying,”
“You’re not dying,”
I said to her irritably, I hated when she talked about death.
“And sometimes,” she continued as if I never spoke, “I worry that my shoulders may be absent when your heart leads you blindly and your head needs rest when you’re tired of giving and not getting back.”
“And sometimes,” she continued as if I never spoke, “I worry that my shoulders may be absent when your heart leads you blindly and your head needs rest when you’re tired of giving and not getting back.”
Her words made me tear up. “Don’t worry about me mama, I’ll be fine.” I was crying now, because she had poked at my swelling heart and all my frustration on that particular boy poured out through my tears.
Mama tapped my wrist gently, ”O ti to, ma su’kun mó, je ka gba’dura.”
Mama tapped my wrist gently, ”O ti to, ma su’kun mó, je ka gba’dura.”
(It’s okay, stop crying,let us pray)
And she prayed for me, that God continues to guide me to use my heart for the good it’s intended for, and when troubles come, that God should help me remember that I am strong enough to get through it.
When she was done praying, she said,
And she prayed for me, that God continues to guide me to use my heart for the good it’s intended for, and when troubles come, that God should help me remember that I am strong enough to get through it.
When she was done praying, she said,
“And if I’m not here for you here, I am still here,” She taps my left breast, “in your heart, always. So talk to me and I promise to give you as much peace as I can”
I bawled. It was too much for me. No, not the issue with the boy. Mama’s love and intuition, it was overwhelming.
I bawled. It was too much for me. No, not the issue with the boy. Mama’s love and intuition, it was overwhelming.
And for the first time since she fell ill, I began to wonder what my life would be without her and I cried harder because my imaginative mind COULD NOT come up with anything.
Dear Mama,
I’m doing okay but I would have done way better if you were here.
#HappyMothersDay2022
Dear Mama,
I’m doing okay but I would have done way better if you were here.
#HappyMothersDay2022
Loading suggestions...