If you are a nice guy who feels your niceness is not being reciprocated; read this
-- Thread --
-- Thread --
1/ There are two types of "nice guy" - the first who genuinely wish good for others and the second who pretend to be nice to get their ways.
If you are the latter, change your ways everyone can see through the facade.
If you are former, read on.
If you are the latter, change your ways everyone can see through the facade.
If you are former, read on.
2/ You appeal to the inherent niceness among other people, but fail to ask if they appeal to their own niceness.
Most people are out of touch with their own good self & not habituated to the niceness.
Hence, any niceness is met with suspicion and therefore unappreciated.
Most people are out of touch with their own good self & not habituated to the niceness.
Hence, any niceness is met with suspicion and therefore unappreciated.
3/ You may possess unlimited supply of niceness, but your resources such as time and energy are limited.
Every unsolicited act of niceness depletes your resources which could be used to pursue your own goals and make yourself capable.
Thereby you block your own progress.
Every unsolicited act of niceness depletes your resources which could be used to pursue your own goals and make yourself capable.
Thereby you block your own progress.
4/ Further, your definition of niceness is perverted, and it is not right to expect others to subscribe to your notions of niceness.
Realize that the niceness must start with yourself.
You cannot help others while being weak and unwilling to help yourself.
Realize that the niceness must start with yourself.
You cannot help others while being weak and unwilling to help yourself.
5/ Humans work on the principle of demand & supply.
We seldom value a quality which is available in abundance. Its value is only realized upon scarcity.
Your niceness when provided in abundance encourages others to take it for granted.
In short, you devalue your own niceness.
We seldom value a quality which is available in abundance. Its value is only realized upon scarcity.
Your niceness when provided in abundance encourages others to take it for granted.
In short, you devalue your own niceness.
6/ Any professional transaction between two parties occur on the basis of mutual benefits.
Work without benefits is an attitude of a slave. Adopt such an attitude and expect to be treated like one.
Such an attitude coupled with your ready availability only invites contempt.
Work without benefits is an attitude of a slave. Adopt such an attitude and expect to be treated like one.
Such an attitude coupled with your ready availability only invites contempt.
7/ Practice your niceness by sharing the knowledge you have gained sans expectations of a reward.
Harbor expectations at your own peril, for unmet expectations with obtained contempt comes as a rude awakening, eventually birthing resentment.
Harbor expectations at your own peril, for unmet expectations with obtained contempt comes as a rude awakening, eventually birthing resentment.
8/ Pay attention to your thoughts, do not over commit in order to seem nice.
You will notice that you make commitments despite your inability to keep the commitment.
Resentment & frustration is the price you pay for the difference between yours thoughts and your action.
You will notice that you make commitments despite your inability to keep the commitment.
Resentment & frustration is the price you pay for the difference between yours thoughts and your action.
9/ Over commitment and under performance will tarnish your respect.
Niceness is a myopic strategy which results in disrespect and loss of trust over longer time period.
Selectively commit. Protect your own self-respect and integrity, at all costs.
Niceness is a myopic strategy which results in disrespect and loss of trust over longer time period.
Selectively commit. Protect your own self-respect and integrity, at all costs.
10/ You have an unaware, broken relationship with power.
Exercise power by declining tasks which depletes your resources with no tangible benefits to yourself.
Regain control over your resources - which is rightfully yours - and deploy them for your own betterment.
Exercise power by declining tasks which depletes your resources with no tangible benefits to yourself.
Regain control over your resources - which is rightfully yours - and deploy them for your own betterment.
11/ There are two ways to help people.
First is to up-skill yourself, allow others to learn from you and make their lives better.
Second is to utilize your resources for others benefits.
Curious people want the former, leeches the latter.
Choose who you want to serve.
First is to up-skill yourself, allow others to learn from you and make their lives better.
Second is to utilize your resources for others benefits.
Curious people want the former, leeches the latter.
Choose who you want to serve.
12/ Finally, your niceness is your asset, guard it and place it inside a pay wall.
Let people earn for your niceness through their efforts.
Those who value your inputs will prove themselves worthy, otherwise they will maintain distance.
This way you are no longer a nice guy.
Let people earn for your niceness through their efforts.
Those who value your inputs will prove themselves worthy, otherwise they will maintain distance.
This way you are no longer a nice guy.
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