10 Powerful Lessons From The Book "Never Split The Difference"
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1. Negotiation has new rules. It's not about bullying or beating the other side into submission.
Negotiation begins when the other side feels accepted and understood.
Negotiation begins when the other side feels accepted and understood.
2. Listen intently to gather information but also make the other side feel understood.
The more understood they feel, the more likely they are to reveal important information.
The more understood they feel, the more likely they are to reveal important information.
3. Repeat the last critical 3 words the other side said followed by a pause, to keep them talking.
A technique, known as 'mirroring.'
A technique, known as 'mirroring.'
4. Direct and assertive tones create defensiveness.
Keep your voice soft and slow, or positive and playful.
Keep your voice soft and slow, or positive and playful.
5. Help the other side overcome their emotional obstacles by labeling them.
For example, "it seems like you're unhappy with our proposal."
By giving their emotions a name, you call attention to them and make them feel validated.
For example, "it seems like you're unhappy with our proposal."
By giving their emotions a name, you call attention to them and make them feel validated.
6. Labelling negative emotions helps people calm down when they're feeling angry.
They're less likely to continue to act on negative emotions once made aware of them.
Always acknowledge the negative to diffuse it.
They're less likely to continue to act on negative emotions once made aware of them.
Always acknowledge the negative to diffuse it.
7. Saying 'no' makes people feel safe, secure, and in control.
Get them saying no by reframing your questions.
"Do you have a few minutes to talk?"
becomes
"Is now a good time to talk?"
Get them saying no by reframing your questions.
"Do you have a few minutes to talk?"
becomes
"Is now a good time to talk?"
8. "That's right" creates breakthroughs.
"Yes" can be a smokescreen where the other side doesn't feel comfortable saying no.
Summarize everything the other party has said to get a "that's right."
"Yes" can be a smokescreen where the other side doesn't feel comfortable saying no.
Summarize everything the other party has said to get a "that's right."
9. Anchor their emotions on their fears.
Make the other side aware of what they have to lose if the deal falls through.
By preparing them for a loss, they're more likely to work with you to avoid it.
Make the other side aware of what they have to lose if the deal falls through.
By preparing them for a loss, they're more likely to work with you to avoid it.
10. Use "what" and "how" questions to give the other side the illusion of control.
They get them working on the problem while feeling like they're the ones in charge.
They get them working on the problem while feeling like they're the ones in charge.
Are you feeling stuck and need some extra push to reach your goals?
"Murder Misery-30 Day Program" will help you to:
- Controll your beliefs
- Change your habits
- Reach your goals
Get your copy here: monkphilosophy.gumroad.com
"Murder Misery-30 Day Program" will help you to:
- Controll your beliefs
- Change your habits
- Reach your goals
Get your copy here: monkphilosophy.gumroad.com
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