Read this if you are not feeling happy of late
- Thread -
- Thread -
Almost always we feel unhappy NOT because there is a solid reason for same,
but we feel unhappy because of few errors or what are called as distortions in our thinking
This thread lists such errors and their remedies
I hope you will feel happy after reading this 🙂
but we feel unhappy because of few errors or what are called as distortions in our thinking
This thread lists such errors and their remedies
I hope you will feel happy after reading this 🙂
1. All or nothing thinking
You feel that if you didn’t achieve your goal completely, you are a failure.
For you the world is either black or white, no shades of grey.
Even if you achieved 80% of your target, you would see yourself as a failure as you didn’t hit 100%
You feel that if you didn’t achieve your goal completely, you are a failure.
For you the world is either black or white, no shades of grey.
Even if you achieved 80% of your target, you would see yourself as a failure as you didn’t hit 100%
Take a rational view of every situation.
Celebrate whatever you have achieved instead of fretting over what you could not.
Nobody achieves 100% all the time
Celebrate whatever you have achieved instead of fretting over what you could not.
Nobody achieves 100% all the time
2. Overgeneralization
You see any negative event as a series of never-ending bad coming your way.
You use terms like “why this always happens to me”.
If someone rejects you, you feel that you will never succeed in love
You see any negative event as a series of never-ending bad coming your way.
You use terms like “why this always happens to me”.
If someone rejects you, you feel that you will never succeed in love
Ask yourself whether it really is an unending pattern of bad things for you.
1,2 or even 3 bad instances don’t make you doomed.
Take a step back and see whether you are overreacting
1,2 or even 3 bad instances don’t make you doomed.
Take a step back and see whether you are overreacting
3. Mental Filter
There are 2 types of filters
First is that you think exclusively about your shortcomings and ignore your positive qualities and accomplishments
Secondly, you maximize other people’s good qualities and minimize their shortcomings
There are 2 types of filters
First is that you think exclusively about your shortcomings and ignore your positive qualities and accomplishments
Secondly, you maximize other people’s good qualities and minimize their shortcomings
You are NOT a complete good for nothing.
List down your good qualities. You connect with people well? You analyze a problem deeply? You have a good smile?
Whatever it is just write it down. You will feel good
List down your good qualities. You connect with people well? You analyze a problem deeply? You have a good smile?
Whatever it is just write it down. You will feel good
4. Jumping to conclusions
You jump to conclusions that aren’t warranted by the facts.
There are two common forms that are called Mind-Reading and Fortune-Telling
You jump to conclusions that aren’t warranted by the facts.
There are two common forms that are called Mind-Reading and Fortune-Telling
Mind-Reading: you make assumptions about how other people are thinking and feeling.
And without fail, you will assume that it is something bad about you
To be frank, people are far too busy to even think about you
And without fail, you will assume that it is something bad about you
To be frank, people are far too busy to even think about you
Fortune-Telling: you make negative predictions about the future.
I am gonna fail that test. I will fumble on my first date.
Take an assessment and see whether there is any element of truth in these predictions.
Even if there is some risk, plan for that and take that first step
I am gonna fail that test. I will fumble on my first date.
Take an assessment and see whether there is any element of truth in these predictions.
Even if there is some risk, plan for that and take that first step
5. Emotional Reasoning
You reason from how you feel.
As a matter of fact, your feelings result from your thoughts, and not from what’s actually happening.
If your thoughts are distorted, your feelings will be too
You reason from how you feel.
As a matter of fact, your feelings result from your thoughts, and not from what’s actually happening.
If your thoughts are distorted, your feelings will be too
While I am a big proponent of going by the gut feeling, at times you must go to the root cause of why you are not feeling good
6. Labeling
You label yourself or others
Labeling is actually an extreme form of overgeneralization, because you see your entire self or essence as defective and globally bad.
You use labels such as “I’m a loser”, “I am sloppy”, “I am lazy”
You label yourself or others
Labeling is actually an extreme form of overgeneralization, because you see your entire self or essence as defective and globally bad.
You use labels such as “I’m a loser”, “I am sloppy”, “I am lazy”
These labels act as affirmations and shape your behavior.
Be very alert about these labels that you use.
Turn it on its head and use positive labels
Be very alert about these labels that you use.
Turn it on its head and use positive labels
7. Self-blame
If you’re down and depressed, you may beat up on yourself constantly and mercilessly, blaming yourself for every error and shortcoming instead of using your energy to find creative solutions to your problems
If you’re down and depressed, you may beat up on yourself constantly and mercilessly, blaming yourself for every error and shortcoming instead of using your energy to find creative solutions to your problems
There are 100 factors which might have led to an incident.
You are just one part of that.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
You are just one part of that.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
While many of these distortions seem simple, when practiced for long durations, can be lethal.
Always be on a lookout for these distortions
Strive to have high degree of calmness and clarity in your mind to handle these.
Meditation is a good starting point
Always be on a lookout for these distortions
Strive to have high degree of calmness and clarity in your mind to handle these.
Meditation is a good starting point
Thanks for reading
These insights are distilled from “Feeling Good” by David Burns
If you found this insightful, do retweet the first tweet of this thread 👇 and give me a follow
@TheLifeSculptor
These insights are distilled from “Feeling Good” by David Burns
If you found this insightful, do retweet the first tweet of this thread 👇 and give me a follow
@TheLifeSculptor
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