1) At the end of our Palo Alto dinner, I shared a question I have been pondering, “What is my default state?”
By default state I mean the mental and emotional baseline in which we spend most of our time.
🧵stray-reflections.com
By default state I mean the mental and emotional baseline in which we spend most of our time.
🧵stray-reflections.com
2) “It used to be motion,” I said.
“I was always chasing after worldly success, running from goal to goal, believing it would fulfill me.”
“I was always chasing after worldly success, running from goal to goal, believing it would fulfill me.”
3) Then I grasped Rumi’s secret.
4) “Now I don’t make myself miserable with what is to come or not to come,” I reflected.
“Contentment is my default state.”
I requested everyone to share theirs.
“Contentment is my default state.”
I requested everyone to share theirs.
5) “Anxiety,” said one participant.
“I feel anxious thinking about things I need to do at work or for my kids.”
“I feel anxious thinking about things I need to do at work or for my kids.”
6) Another participant shared that his default state was “anxious” as well.
But this was linked to his trading, which he said was the “loneliest job in the world.”
But this was linked to his trading, which he said was the “loneliest job in the world.”
7) He finds solace in stoic philosophy and spends time thinking about worst case scenarios.
8) “Even if you have a great year, you know we could have done so much better,” he said.
“So, it’s easy to beat yourself, especially as you know your mistakes.”
“So, it’s easy to beat yourself, especially as you know your mistakes.”
9) Another participant added, “A bad year feels worse than a good year feels good.”
This is particularly true in the current market environment.
This is particularly true in the current market environment.
10) One of the participants stated that his default state is “thinking constantly.”
He admitted that he was “not present.”
He admitted that he was “not present.”
11) As his children are growing older, he finds himself wondering where did the time go?
This is something he is looking to change.
This is something he is looking to change.
12) “My default state was always being in my head,” said a participant.
“Now I’m enjoying being guided by the heart.”
“Now I’m enjoying being guided by the heart.”
13) A heart-centered living invites more love, compassion, kindness, patience, forgiveness, and cooperation.
14) Another participant stated that “love” is his default state. He has no time for “dicks and assholes.”
15) He had a rough upbringing and he wants to help others feel like they have a place in the world, that they belong.
“I’m a lover, not a fighter.”
“I’m a lover, not a fighter.”
16) The next participant said he oscillates between “happy, pensive, and manic.”
Lately, his default state is more manic given market volatility.
Lately, his default state is more manic given market volatility.
17) He feels like he needs to stay on top of everything.
That’s an exhausting endeavor.
He must objectively fight this tendency because it sacrifices his happiness.
That’s an exhausting endeavor.
He must objectively fight this tendency because it sacrifices his happiness.
18) A participant shared that he’s not getting enough “me time” now that’s he had a second child.
He is striving towards more “peace and balance.”
He is striving towards more “peace and balance.”
19) He has hired a full-time nanny and is working with a coach.
A life-long surfer, he’s looking for “calm waters.”
A life-long surfer, he’s looking for “calm waters.”
20) One of the participants, a VC, said that his default state is “efficiency seeking.”
In each of his first three years in the business, he met with over a thousand startups, only to realize it’s not about the frequency of meetings but rather optimizing for better screening.
In each of his first three years in the business, he met with over a thousand startups, only to realize it’s not about the frequency of meetings but rather optimizing for better screening.
21) A participant who had endured a difficult year personally and emotionally stated that “gratitude” had become his default state.
He was especially grateful for discovering Rumi, whose words had helped him in regaining composure.
He was especially grateful for discovering Rumi, whose words had helped him in regaining composure.
22) With great courage, he shared that his father was dying.
He was flying to Paris to see him the next day and asked everyone for any advice on how to cope with such a grave loss.
He was flying to Paris to see him the next day and asked everyone for any advice on how to cope with such a grave loss.
23) “Don’t leave anything unsaid,” a participant offered, who had also lost his father. “Say whatever is in your heart.”
24) “I had a great relationship with him,” he replied, reflecting on the many beautiful memories.
“Then just thank him.”
(End)
“Then just thank him.”
(End)
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