Four years ago we were in an awful marriage.
Our HOUSE wasn’t a HOME,
it was a war zone.
•We said the D word.
•We didn’t speak days at a time.
•My kids could’ve not had a dad.
Here’s the steps we took to fix us & how it’s now better than the honeymoon!!
Our HOUSE wasn’t a HOME,
it was a war zone.
•We said the D word.
•We didn’t speak days at a time.
•My kids could’ve not had a dad.
Here’s the steps we took to fix us & how it’s now better than the honeymoon!!
It all starts with you men!
As the man of the house your energy & attitude will be magnified & amplified by your spouse.
Here’s 18 things you can apply today to get that romance & passion back!
As the man of the house your energy & attitude will be magnified & amplified by your spouse.
Here’s 18 things you can apply today to get that romance & passion back!
1) Prioritize your family above all else.
This means making a CHOICE to
-work less
-watch less TV
-set boundaries with friends
Men, fill yourself up first!
I ALWAYS wake before my family &
-Journal (mind)
-Train (body)
-Pray (soul)
Once I’m filled up, I’m ready to lead them.
This means making a CHOICE to
-work less
-watch less TV
-set boundaries with friends
Men, fill yourself up first!
I ALWAYS wake before my family &
-Journal (mind)
-Train (body)
-Pray (soul)
Once I’m filled up, I’m ready to lead them.
2) We quit “watching a show” every night in bed sitting in silence.
Watching a show is a crappy excuse 2 connect.
We canceled:
-Hulu
-Cable
-Netflix
-HBOGO
If we watch something now,
We’re learning together!
We’re interacting!
No TV in the bedroom!
Only sleep & sex!! 🔥❤️
Watching a show is a crappy excuse 2 connect.
We canceled:
-Hulu
-Cable
-Netflix
-HBOGO
If we watch something now,
We’re learning together!
We’re interacting!
No TV in the bedroom!
Only sleep & sex!! 🔥❤️
3) Five Love languages
-Gifts
-Quality time
-Physical touch
-Acts of service
-Words of affirmation
Discover what they desire & focus on that!
If his is TOUCH & you only SPEND TIME, he won’t feel desired.
If hers is TIME, & you only DO THINGS FOR HER she won’t feel filled up!
-Gifts
-Quality time
-Physical touch
-Acts of service
-Words of affirmation
Discover what they desire & focus on that!
If his is TOUCH & you only SPEND TIME, he won’t feel desired.
If hers is TIME, & you only DO THINGS FOR HER she won’t feel filled up!
4) Understand your partners “Stress Language!”
This is something I never considered until @taylorburrowes wrote a brilliant article on it!
Understand their:
-go to when they feel stressed
-how you can identify it
-how you can best support them work through it!
Game changer! 🙏
This is something I never considered until @taylorburrowes wrote a brilliant article on it!
Understand their:
-go to when they feel stressed
-how you can identify it
-how you can best support them work through it!
Game changer! 🙏
5) NEVER KEEP SCORE!
I recently tweeted
“If you keep score in a relationship or marriage you’ll both lose.”
Stop the poisonous attitude of I did all the:
•dishes
•laundry
•cleaning
You are teammates.
You are lovers.
Act like it!
End score keeping so you can both win!
I recently tweeted
“If you keep score in a relationship or marriage you’ll both lose.”
Stop the poisonous attitude of I did all the:
•dishes
•laundry
•cleaning
You are teammates.
You are lovers.
Act like it!
End score keeping so you can both win!
Tip for women:
Most of us men really want to help but don’t know the best way how.
Give us lists!
Give us a few list items each week we can take off your plate & we love to help you!
Guys, ask her what can I take off your plate today?
The key is solid communication!
Most of us men really want to help but don’t know the best way how.
Give us lists!
Give us a few list items each week we can take off your plate & we love to help you!
Guys, ask her what can I take off your plate today?
The key is solid communication!
6) Communication is everything!
We all know this.
@TheShoups taught me a practical way to apply it!
Have a weekly family meeting!
Each Sunday gather the troops &:
•go over the schedule & week
•talk problems, let them be aired
•go over the family mission & talk big stuff
We all know this.
@TheShoups taught me a practical way to apply it!
Have a weekly family meeting!
Each Sunday gather the troops &:
•go over the schedule & week
•talk problems, let them be aired
•go over the family mission & talk big stuff
7) I took extreme ownership
I read @jockowillink book & applied the lessons to marriage!
-She’s not doing something I like, then it’s ON ME to communicate.
-Every aspect of our relationship is on me
-0 excuses
Comes down 2 being a BOY vs being a MAN & taking ownership!
LEAD!
I read @jockowillink book & applied the lessons to marriage!
-She’s not doing something I like, then it’s ON ME to communicate.
-Every aspect of our relationship is on me
-0 excuses
Comes down 2 being a BOY vs being a MAN & taking ownership!
LEAD!
8) We saw a counselor & got professional help & tips from an expert.
It was critical having a mediator that helped us break through & get out of our own way.
We got into ruts & what we now refer to as the CRAZY CYCLE.
She helped us identify & defeat them before they spiraled!
It was critical having a mediator that helped us break through & get out of our own way.
We got into ruts & what we now refer to as the CRAZY CYCLE.
She helped us identify & defeat them before they spiraled!
9) Keep family & friends out of disagreements!
This was a big problem,
•We would disagree & she would call her mom & get validated.
•Simultaneously I called mine & got the same.
(Don’t do this men🤦♂️)
If we have problems,
We communicate with each other & keep it in house!
This was a big problem,
•We would disagree & she would call her mom & get validated.
•Simultaneously I called mine & got the same.
(Don’t do this men🤦♂️)
If we have problems,
We communicate with each other & keep it in house!
9) Men only!
Listen & validate don’t fix!
Our instincts when she’s sharing a struggle is:
❌Fix
❌Get defensive
She’s not wanting us to fix!
Its her way of connecting & sharing life!
✅Listen & VALIDATE
✅Let her know you care instead of quickly responding to do this!
Listen & validate don’t fix!
Our instincts when she’s sharing a struggle is:
❌Fix
❌Get defensive
She’s not wanting us to fix!
Its her way of connecting & sharing life!
✅Listen & VALIDATE
✅Let her know you care instead of quickly responding to do this!
10) Mandatory date Nights with no kids!
•Have fun together
•Men plan it out for her
At home it can get so monotonous:
-did u pack lunches
-get the laundry done
-I took the trash out etc
Every week we hire sitters and go out for a fun adult only date night to connect & grow!
•Have fun together
•Men plan it out for her
At home it can get so monotonous:
-did u pack lunches
-get the laundry done
-I took the trash out etc
Every week we hire sitters and go out for a fun adult only date night to connect & grow!
This is the best money we spend all week!
I often hear parents say I would do anything for my kids.
Then keep pursuing your spouse!
Model love & a growing relationship so they can see that in your home!
Men,
Ferociously pursue her always like you did when first dating!🔥❤️
I often hear parents say I would do anything for my kids.
Then keep pursuing your spouse!
Model love & a growing relationship so they can see that in your home!
Men,
Ferociously pursue her always like you did when first dating!🔥❤️
11) Men quit watching porn.
I always justified it as
•Stress reliever
•Not a big deal
BUT
I knew deep down it was harmful to my marriage.
My queen knows she’s the only woman I look at, fantasize about, & lust after!
Cancel fake pixel booty,
Go pursue her delicious booty!!
I always justified it as
•Stress reliever
•Not a big deal
BUT
I knew deep down it was harmful to my marriage.
My queen knows she’s the only woman I look at, fantasize about, & lust after!
Cancel fake pixel booty,
Go pursue her delicious booty!!
12) Connect with fun, physical activities as a family!
33 months now we have no TV or Netflix in our home & instead we:
✅Hike
✅Swim
✅Ride bikes
✅Plank challenges
✅Family dance contests
✅Relay races with our dog
✅Read books outside at sunset
✅Weekend getaways & exploring
33 months now we have no TV or Netflix in our home & instead we:
✅Hike
✅Swim
✅Ride bikes
✅Plank challenges
✅Family dance contests
✅Relay races with our dog
✅Read books outside at sunset
✅Weekend getaways & exploring
13) Speak life to one another, leave notes & love letters ❤️
A few years ago we never built one another up.
It was nagging & complaints.
-Now, it’s our mission to try & give one another energy & show gratitude for all the other does!
-Be the biggest cheerleader & supporter!
A few years ago we never built one another up.
It was nagging & complaints.
-Now, it’s our mission to try & give one another energy & show gratitude for all the other does!
-Be the biggest cheerleader & supporter!
14) NEVER speak bad about your spouse in front of others.
-Even if it’s a joke it’s off limits.
-Build them up in front of others always.
•Like you were taught,
if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
•Kindness wins, especially in marriage!
-Even if it’s a joke it’s off limits.
-Build them up in front of others always.
•Like you were taught,
if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
•Kindness wins, especially in marriage!
15) Do some activities apart.
We give each other time away to refill & recharge.
A guys night out or girls weekend is always welcomed & accepted with NO GUILT!
-We take at least a trip a year apart.
-Absence makes the heart grow fonder & we always come back recharged! ❤️🔥
We give each other time away to refill & recharge.
A guys night out or girls weekend is always welcomed & accepted with NO GUILT!
-We take at least a trip a year apart.
-Absence makes the heart grow fonder & we always come back recharged! ❤️🔥
16) Model the behaviors you desire
@limitlessleila said,
“You’re better off not preaching behaviors if you won’t live them out.”
This challenged me.
I can’t ask my wife to do things I’m not doing.
-Putting her 1st
-Intentional listening
-NEVER COMPLAINING
LEAD by example!
@limitlessleila said,
“You’re better off not preaching behaviors if you won’t live them out.”
This challenged me.
I can’t ask my wife to do things I’m not doing.
-Putting her 1st
-Intentional listening
-NEVER COMPLAINING
LEAD by example!
17) “Take your family on adventures!”
-@themanslife
My favorite tweet!
I embraced that & led my family on:
-scavenger hunts
-challenging hikes
-picnics & sunset walks
-fun date nights with the wife
Dads,
-Create fun & challenging adventures!
-You’ll grow closer as a unit!
-@themanslife
My favorite tweet!
I embraced that & led my family on:
-scavenger hunts
-challenging hikes
-picnics & sunset walks
-fun date nights with the wife
Dads,
-Create fun & challenging adventures!
-You’ll grow closer as a unit!
18) Men,
She needs to be your #1 always!
Think when you were first dating.
•love notes
•date her fiercely
•keep pursuing her
Women,
Even more than LOVE,
he needs your RESPECT.
Trust his judgment!
Build his ego & he will slay dragons for you!
We read this book together!
She needs to be your #1 always!
Think when you were first dating.
•love notes
•date her fiercely
•keep pursuing her
Women,
Even more than LOVE,
he needs your RESPECT.
Trust his judgment!
Build his ego & he will slay dragons for you!
We read this book together!
Having an on fire marriage & spouse that supports you is the best!
“They are no longer two,
but one flesh.
What God has joined, let no one separate.”
-Mathew 19:6
Thanks for reading!
Now go call your S/O & tell them how much you love them & are grateful for them! ❤️
“They are no longer two,
but one flesh.
What God has joined, let no one separate.”
-Mathew 19:6
Thanks for reading!
Now go call your S/O & tell them how much you love them & are grateful for them! ❤️
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