“There the son of Cronos used to lie with the rich-tressed nymph, unseen by deathless gods and mortal men, at dead of night while sweet sleep should hold white-armed Hera fast.”
Precious to me are each and every one of our many rendezvous, and those walks – in Hampstead Heath, and Battersea, and The Regent’s Park, especially when you brought along your adorable fluffy little white dog named, what, “Alexei”, wasn’t it?
O Thou Most-Elusive Escort!
The last time I saw you, it was on OnlyFans, where you had posted a preview clip from Venice, of you playing hostess to Bo Bonersson, the famous Swedish p0rn$tar, and Horst Ballsensackner, the beefy lead of that German classic, “Hung Like Horst”.
The last time I saw you, it was on OnlyFans, where you had posted a preview clip from Venice, of you playing hostess to Bo Bonersson, the famous Swedish p0rn$tar, and Horst Ballsensackner, the beefy lead of that German classic, “Hung Like Horst”.
Alas! It seems you’ve deleted your accounts on Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, TikTok, VK, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Pinterest, and LinkedIn. And even Reddit has gone silent about your current whereabouts and delectable shenanigans.
Oh, but those one-on-one meetings in the hotels! I loved every minute, and it was worth every pound sterling I spent – on the room, I mean.
I didn’t even mind that stiff fee they tacked on to charge me for what we did to that Jacuzzi.
I didn’t even mind that stiff fee they tacked on to charge me for what we did to that Jacuzzi.
How we laughed when you gifted me with a private showing of the famous DJT “P-tape”! And how discreet you were when I commented that you must have some very high-ranking friends in Bardakistan to have gotten your hands on such exclusive “intellectual property”!
And then you seemed to just … disappear.
I heard a rumour from a quite corpulent presence on the deep web, who calls himself “Kim Dot-Slob”, that you had gone underground,
I heard a rumour from a quite corpulent presence on the deep web, who calls himself “Kim Dot-Slob”, that you had gone underground,
, that you were now passing yourself off as a mere Ukrainian named "Alona Shevchenko". But really, as a name for someone working undercover, that sounds even less plausible than “Jessica Berlin”!
Really now -- taking the last name of a Ukrainian national hero?!
Really now -- taking the last name of a Ukrainian national hero?!
Oh Christina Manhattanova Христина Манхеттеновна, please come back! My American Express Platinum Card has been reinstated, and I know a 5-star hotel on the Adriatic that accepts cryptocurrency! Please, I beg of you, let us live again in decadence and infamy like the days of yore!
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