I’ve lost my uncle.
A week before his death we spoke about grief, how loosing mummy (his sister) had birthed this fear of loneliness in me, that had me making decisions or staying in spaces I was uncomfortable with and in.
He sent me this quote:

“Ironically when we start to get better, we also often get sad coz we start to realize how much we’ve missed out on, how badly certain people failed us, what the younger version of us actually deserved. Healing involves healthy grieving. No way around it”

He captioned this quote with “live your life to the fullest!!!”
I didn’t know I’d be grieving him in a week’s time. To be honest this is the most I’ve written about it because I just couldn’t find the words to wrap my emotions or what he’d meant to me esp this year.

There’s something so heavy about seeing your lifeless loved one. How can there be absence of so much life where it once sat so effortlessly. It’s a heartbreak that only an assurance of love, can confront.
I am grateful that our final conversation ended with declarations of love.