we all know saint valentine is responsible for love and saint patrick is the patron of the irish.
but who’s in charge of more niche stuff, like clowns, hangovers, and bees? well, here’s a thread of saints you can talk to about highly specific problems! 🧵
but who’s in charge of more niche stuff, like clowns, hangovers, and bees? well, here’s a thread of saints you can talk to about highly specific problems! 🧵
if you're a beekeeper who wants protection for your bees, talk to saint ambrose, patron saint of all things bee-related!
this is bc allegedly, when ambrose was an infant a swarm of bees landed on his face.
instead of freaking out that his son's face was covered in bees, ambrose's dad took it as a sign that his son would be a great orator one day, for the words he spoke would be as sweet as honey.
instead of freaking out that his son's face was covered in bees, ambrose's dad took it as a sign that his son would be a great orator one day, for the words he spoke would be as sweet as honey.
what about the terminally online? don’t they deserve patronage too? sure thing! saint isidore of seville is the official patron saint of the internet.
an early medieval scholar who preserved and compiled classical texts so they wouldn’t be lost to time, he’s a logical choice for the job. next time you accidentally wipe your hard drive or someone calls you a mean name on twitter, talk to isidore!
maybe you’re a new mother who wants a healthy start for your child? you can pray to saint giles, who lived as a hermit and lived entirely on....deer milk! making him the patron saint of, um, lactation.
another saint you can pray to for the safety of your children is saint guinefort, the patron saint of babies, who is better remembered for the fact that he was....a dog!
guinefort allegedly gave his life to save his master’s newborn son from a snake. but he’s not officially recognized as a saint because the catholic church says dogs can’t be saints :( still, he was venerated for several centuries in and around his hometown in france
another unofficial saint is the legendary 19th century mexican bandit jesús malverde, patron saint of drug trafficking!
while it may be a while yet before we convince the church to canonize him, malverde is still invoked for protection by some thieves, smugglers, and drug dealers in the usa and mexico
on a related note, saint adrian of nicomedia is an official saint who's the patron of arms dealers! he's also in charge of the plague, butchers, and soldiers.
saint genevieve — patron saint of paris and also disasters
some more fun ones:
-saint cajetan is patron of the unemployed
-saint benedict is patron of spelunkers
-saint dymphna is patron of people with anxiety and depression
-saint zita is patron of people who have lost their keys
-saint cajetan is patron of the unemployed
-saint benedict is patron of spelunkers
-saint dymphna is patron of people with anxiety and depression
-saint zita is patron of people who have lost their keys
saint genesius is clowns and saint bibiana is hangovers, by the way
hopefully we've all learned something valuable then
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