When you find out you’re going to have a baby, you get a lot of advice.
Unfortunately, most of it sucks.
Here is the straight talk parenting advice I wish I had received:
Unfortunately, most of it sucks.
Here is the straight talk parenting advice I wish I had received:
Do What Works For You
The most important piece of advice.
Everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your kids, what tools you should use, how you should sleep train them, etc.
It's well intentioned, but it's mostly bullshit.
Do what works for you and makes you happy.
The most important piece of advice.
Everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your kids, what tools you should use, how you should sleep train them, etc.
It's well intentioned, but it's mostly bullshit.
Do what works for you and makes you happy.
Reject the Cynicism
There's this weird trend of cynicism around becoming a parent:
• "Have fun never sleeping!"
• "Hope you got your fun in!"
It's dumb—the good outweighs the bad by 1000x. The frictions are just a tiny tax on all the benefits.
Lean into gratitude instead.
There's this weird trend of cynicism around becoming a parent:
• "Have fun never sleeping!"
• "Hope you got your fun in!"
It's dumb—the good outweighs the bad by 1000x. The frictions are just a tiny tax on all the benefits.
Lean into gratitude instead.
Check Your Fears
I was so scared for the first few weeks as a parent. The baby is so tiny and I was so nervous about messing up.
But you just have to give in and have faith.
Fear bleeds into everyone around you.
Stand tall and confident for your child, partner, and everyone.
I was so scared for the first few weeks as a parent. The baby is so tiny and I was so nervous about messing up.
But you just have to give in and have faith.
Fear bleeds into everyone around you.
Stand tall and confident for your child, partner, and everyone.
They Come With a Kit
Before my son was born, I assumed I'd be able to mold him.
It may be possible on the margins, but I now think each kid comes out with a personality and perspective on the world—their kit.
Our job is to harness it in accordance with a strong set of values.
Before my son was born, I assumed I'd be able to mold him.
It may be possible on the margins, but I now think each kid comes out with a personality and perspective on the world—their kit.
Our job is to harness it in accordance with a strong set of values.
It Changes the Partner Relationship
For the first time in your relationship, you are no longer each other's Number 1.
That can be hard. Acknowledge it and talk about it—grow through it.
Tell your partner one thing you appreciate about them daily. Appreciation works wonders.
For the first time in your relationship, you are no longer each other's Number 1.
That can be hard. Acknowledge it and talk about it—grow through it.
Tell your partner one thing you appreciate about them daily. Appreciation works wonders.
Nature is Your Best Friend
Babies love being in nature—they love fresh air.
Spend as much time as possible outside.
Long walks outside are like a natural sleep aid for the baby and you'll benefit from the stress relief and movement.
Great family bonding, too!
Babies love being in nature—they love fresh air.
Spend as much time as possible outside.
Long walks outside are like a natural sleep aid for the baby and you'll benefit from the stress relief and movement.
Great family bonding, too!
AM Sun is a Sleep Hack
There's a lot of research that says ~15 minutes of sunlight upon waking supports an adult's sleep at night.
Anecdotally, I found the same applied to my newborn.
When I started bringing him in that morning sun, his sleep schedule improved dramatically.
There's a lot of research that says ~15 minutes of sunlight upon waking supports an adult's sleep at night.
Anecdotally, I found the same applied to my newborn.
When I started bringing him in that morning sun, his sleep schedule improved dramatically.
You'll Never Be Ready (and that's ok!)
You'll never feel fully comfortable or secure in making the leap to become a parent.
All the prep in the world can't replace our natural, biological wiring to care for our children.
Do your best to prepare, but trust you'll figure it out.
You'll never feel fully comfortable or secure in making the leap to become a parent.
All the prep in the world can't replace our natural, biological wiring to care for our children.
Do your best to prepare, but trust you'll figure it out.
You'll 10x Your Focus
Before my son was born, I was worried about the impact it would have on my work—that the added stress and responsibility would detract from my output.
I found the opposite to be true—my focus and motivation immediately leveled up.
Kids are a powerful WHY.
Before my son was born, I was worried about the impact it would have on my work—that the added stress and responsibility would detract from my output.
I found the opposite to be true—my focus and motivation immediately leveled up.
Kids are a powerful WHY.
Fight the Low Back Pain
Carrying a baby around puts you in a state of back extension that can cause a lot of lower back pain.
Fight back:
• Strengthen lower abs (reverse crunches)
• Strengthen glutes (glute bridges)
• Stretch hips (pigeon pose, hip twisters)
Trust me.
Carrying a baby around puts you in a state of back extension that can cause a lot of lower back pain.
Fight back:
• Strengthen lower abs (reverse crunches)
• Strengthen glutes (glute bridges)
• Stretch hips (pigeon pose, hip twisters)
Trust me.
Show Constant Affection
A smile from your child is quite literally the best feeling in the entire world. It's impossible to describe it.
I'm convinced that your greatest responsibility early in their life is to show them deep and constant affection.
Build a lasting bond.
A smile from your child is quite literally the best feeling in the entire world. It's impossible to describe it.
I'm convinced that your greatest responsibility early in their life is to show them deep and constant affection.
Build a lasting bond.
Have Strong Plans, Loosely Held
Routines are your friend. Having a consistent routine is a great thing for the baby (and the parents).
But shit happens—sometimes literally.
Give yourself the freedom to adapt—babies are much more adaptive to change than we give them credit for.
Routines are your friend. Having a consistent routine is a great thing for the baby (and the parents).
But shit happens—sometimes literally.
Give yourself the freedom to adapt—babies are much more adaptive to change than we give them credit for.
Being Present is the Most Important Thing
There is a short window of time during which you are your child's favorite person in the world.
Being present during those moments is everything.
The simple moments are going to be the ones you wish you could have back.
Slow down.
There is a short window of time during which you are your child's favorite person in the world.
Being present during those moments is everything.
The simple moments are going to be the ones you wish you could have back.
Slow down.
I'm far from a parenting guru, but I hope my reflections help a few people out there.
Hearing this stuff definitely would have helped me.
Follow me @SahilBloom for more writing on growth & life. I write a weekly newsletter to 133K+ that you should join! sahilbloom.com
Hearing this stuff definitely would have helped me.
Follow me @SahilBloom for more writing on growth & life. I write a weekly newsletter to 133K+ that you should join! sahilbloom.com
Oh, and take a lot of pictures…because you’re gonna miss this.
Hopefully obvious caveat to this thread is that it is written from the perspective of ONE DAD.
This is why the first item—do what works for you—is the most important.
It also means I can’t possibly weigh in on the unique challenges faced by moms—they’re the real superheroes.
This is why the first item—do what works for you—is the most important.
It also means I can’t possibly weigh in on the unique challenges faced by moms—they’re the real superheroes.
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