Confidence and Charisma aren’t mysteries…
They are skills.
3 minute crash-course if you’re looking to 10x your social standing
They are skills.
3 minute crash-course if you’re looking to 10x your social standing
Have you ever wondered why some people drip charisma, while others struggle to even utter a sentence without becoming embarassed?
Let's dive in👇
Let's dive in👇
1. MAKE FIRST IMPRESSIONS WORK IN YOUR FAVOR
It's square one. First impressions area very hard to change once they are made. The first step toward your most likeable self is to begin making STELLAR first impressions by:
It's square one. First impressions area very hard to change once they are made. The first step toward your most likeable self is to begin making STELLAR first impressions by:
For amazing first impressions:
Avoid these emotional states:
-agitated
-irritable
-bored
and Exude these emotional states:
-Joy
-Purpose
-Warmth
-Humor
Avoid these emotional states:
-agitated
-irritable
-bored
and Exude these emotional states:
-Joy
-Purpose
-Warmth
-Humor
2. TAKE YOUR TIME
When you arrive at a party, don't immediately find a corner in the kitchen to stand in.
Give it a bit.
Shake people's hands, without being rushed.
Give the girls a light-hearted, kind compliment.
When you arrive at a party, don't immediately find a corner in the kitchen to stand in.
Give it a bit.
Shake people's hands, without being rushed.
Give the girls a light-hearted, kind compliment.
People are attracted to this Positive Energy
3. BE UNDERWATER
Said another way, move in near-slow motion.
It sounds odd but the psychology behind it is pretty obvious:
Speed stands for cuteness, fluffy puppies and cute hatchlings, even prey animals.
Gentleness stands for control, strong bears and lions.
Said another way, move in near-slow motion.
It sounds odd but the psychology behind it is pretty obvious:
Speed stands for cuteness, fluffy puppies and cute hatchlings, even prey animals.
Gentleness stands for control, strong bears and lions.
Predatory animals, powerful animals, move slowly.
You need to have energy and enthusiasm, but it has to be tempered and delivered in an easy-going, non-rushed manner.
You need to have energy and enthusiasm, but it has to be tempered and delivered in an easy-going, non-rushed manner.
4. BECOME A GOOD LISTENER
Way too many guys miss this one.
By talking, you are not gaining ground NEARLY as fast as you could by listening.
Way too many guys miss this one.
By talking, you are not gaining ground NEARLY as fast as you could by listening.
Use the RULE OF THIRDS:
1/3 time Speaking
2/3 time Listening.
This is true for men and especially true for women. Listening exudes confidence.
1/3 time Speaking
2/3 time Listening.
This is true for men and especially true for women. Listening exudes confidence.
5. DO NOT CUT PEOPLE OFF
Don't interrupt others.
Don't talk over others.
You want to be aloof and a little distant.
Cutting others off, unless absolutely necessary is not a good plan.
It makes you look desperate or ignorant.
Don't interrupt others.
Don't talk over others.
You want to be aloof and a little distant.
Cutting others off, unless absolutely necessary is not a good plan.
It makes you look desperate or ignorant.
6. DONT BE TOO EXCITABLE
Let's say you're having a conversation with a nice looking woman, and she tells you a few things about her day.
One of the most common mistakes here is to be OVERLY EXCITED about everything she says.
Let's say you're having a conversation with a nice looking woman, and she tells you a few things about her day.
One of the most common mistakes here is to be OVERLY EXCITED about everything she says.
If your body language is saying "OMG AMAZING" to every thing she mentions, you need to chill out and just nod politely instead.
You need to think of VALIDATION as a finite resource; only use it when it is truly warranted.
You need to think of VALIDATION as a finite resource; only use it when it is truly warranted.
A few tips to improve your perceived confidence:
-stand with your arms crossed or in an asymmetical way
-Look around critically every now and then.
-Don’t keep nodding incessantly.
-Keep the silence now and then.
-Don't rush to fill in empty spaces
-stand with your arms crossed or in an asymmetical way
-Look around critically every now and then.
-Don’t keep nodding incessantly.
-Keep the silence now and then.
-Don't rush to fill in empty spaces
7. MAKE YOUR WORDS VALUABLE
When in doubt, say less than is necessary.
Do NOT over-explain. It comes across as weak or needy.
Let there be pauses.
...
...
...
It's ok to let people think for a bit
When in doubt, say less than is necessary.
Do NOT over-explain. It comes across as weak or needy.
Let there be pauses.
...
...
...
It's ok to let people think for a bit
8. BE CHIVALROUS, NOT NARCISSISTIC
You have to be careful not to come across as an arrogant jerk.
Being strong doesn't mean you aren't sensitive.
Be a KNIGHT, not a NARCISSIST.
You have to be careful not to come across as an arrogant jerk.
Being strong doesn't mean you aren't sensitive.
Be a KNIGHT, not a NARCISSIST.
Even integrating 1 of these lessons can dramatically change how people perceive you, and how you feel about yourself in social settings.
That's a wrap!
If you found these valuable follow me
@mattsouleSR5
🙏
If you want to share this thread, give the first tweet a retweet. Cheers.
If you found these valuable follow me
@mattsouleSR5
🙏
If you want to share this thread, give the first tweet a retweet. Cheers.
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