Being Black in a predominantly white work environment makes you hypervisible. In my eval, the comment “I don’t see you very much,” was made. Another colleague said, “We don’t want to bug you. It’s helpful if you’re close by.” Y’all. I’m going to do my best to articulate this 1/
I round, do timely consults, supervise procedures, see my clinic patients, keep my inbox cleaned out - I get my work done. My scheduled 10-hr days are routinely 11 hrs working through lunch. I like to find a quiet place to chart and make my patient calls. BUT the culture is 2/
that you’re seen. Looking busy gets rewarded. Complaining about every undesirable aspect of the job makes you a martyr. Back biting and gossiping is how you show allegiance. Lacking work-life balance means you REALLY care. 3/
What folks don’t realize is everything WE do is seen through a racialized lens. I can’t talk trash about my colleagues. They will always choose their allegiance to each other over my defense. I can’t complain, I’m lucky to be there. The consequences are different. 4/
I know this because I’ve been Black a long time. So, I do what I came to do, I do it damn well and I return to my only truly safe space, my home. Where no one is asking to touch my hair, for me to speak for the Blacks or give them the approved ally stamp. 5/
There are consequences for having boundaries & protecting your peace. I’m suspicious. “How is she getting out on time?” “Where has she been all day?” “Who is she talking to if not us?”
Then comes the extra work because clearly I have the time right? 6/
Then comes the extra work because clearly I have the time right? 6/
If I say no, then I’m not a team player. It’s so frustrating. I like to laugh. I love my work. Yes it’s intense and hard but you don’t go in this field for the ease of the work. You doubt it because you’re crazy enough to believe you can make a difference. And you do. 7/
Microaggressions & systemic racism manifest in many ways. The idea that white is right & whiteness = professionalism coupled with hypervisibility and racialized micromanagement - not trusting that something can be done just as well a different way is harmful and exhausting. 8/8
Do* not doubt
Loading suggestions...