Harsh Truth: Most people don't really care about you.
The Spotlight Effect says that we overestimate the degree to which other people are noticing or observing our actions.
This is liberating—stop worrying about what others think, be yourself, and live according to your values.
The Spotlight Effect says that we overestimate the degree to which other people are noticing or observing our actions.
This is liberating—stop worrying about what others think, be yourself, and live according to your values.
Basically, we think people care about us WAY MORE than they actually do.
I used to worry about every little thing I did, thinking that people would scrutinize or judge me.
This places a huge and unnecessary drag on growth.
I used to worry about every little thing I did, thinking that people would scrutinize or judge me.
This places a huge and unnecessary drag on growth.
It’s the reason many of us are afraid to eat alone at a restaurant.
We worry about what the other people are thinking about us:
“Oh there must be something wrong with him if he’s alone.”
The reality is that they’re probably just thinking about themselves.
Go on a solo date.
We worry about what the other people are thinking about us:
“Oh there must be something wrong with him if he’s alone.”
The reality is that they’re probably just thinking about themselves.
Go on a solo date.
I’m writing a deeper dive on reflections of key lessons learned in 2022 (with this being one of them).
You can join 150K here! getrevue.co
You can join 150K here! getrevue.co
There’s so much hidden talent out there in the world that has yet to be revealed because of fear of judgement from others.
Overcoming the Spotlight Effect is the way that this talent gets unlocked.
Overcoming the Spotlight Effect is the way that this talent gets unlocked.
There’s a common phrase:
Stop caring about what others think about you.
This goes deeper than that:
Stop caring about what others think about you, because they probably aren’t even thinking about you.
Stop caring about what others think about you.
This goes deeper than that:
Stop caring about what others think about you, because they probably aren’t even thinking about you.
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality."
- Seneca
- Seneca
Everyone should eat dinner alone at a bar or restaurant at least once per month.
In school, we were taught that eating alone was the worst thing imaginable—a sign of being a social outcast.
In adulthood, I’d argue it’s the opposite—a sign of being free.
Try it. Thank me later.
In school, we were taught that eating alone was the worst thing imaginable—a sign of being a social outcast.
In adulthood, I’d argue it’s the opposite—a sign of being free.
Try it. Thank me later.
The Man-in-the-Car Paradox
You see a fancy car and dream of the respect you'd get by driving it...while ignoring the person actually in it.
We want respect. We think fancy stuff will earn it.
It won't.
"No one is more impressed with your stuff than you are.” - @morganhousel
You see a fancy car and dream of the respect you'd get by driving it...while ignoring the person actually in it.
We want respect. We think fancy stuff will earn it.
It won't.
"No one is more impressed with your stuff than you are.” - @morganhousel
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