Understanding the difference between using your judgment and judging others.
Why you should be making an effort to STOP judging others.
Why you should be making an effort to STOP judging others.
We hear the term judgement a lot. Personally, I’ve only seen black and white takes on it. Some people say judgment is good, others say judgment is bad. I say, it depends on what kind of judgement you are referring to.
The difference between using your judgement & judging others:
Using your judgement means analysing the environment you’re in & determining whether or not it’s safe or dangerous. Whether to continue conversing with someone or to avoid them. Whether to accept or decline an offer.
Using your judgement means analysing the environment you’re in & determining whether or not it’s safe or dangerous. Whether to continue conversing with someone or to avoid them. Whether to accept or decline an offer.
When you use your judgement, you are using a mixture of intuition & reason — this is a survival mechanism. Something that keeps you safe from potential danger. It is something that is done subconsciously.
Judging others, however, is a conscious decision.
Judging others, however, is a conscious decision.
Judging others is when one makes a conscious decision to think or speak negatively about another person.
It summons dark emotions that affect not only those around you, but yourself.
It summons dark emotions that affect not only those around you, but yourself.
The key difference here is:
1. using your judgement = judging your environment (subconscious survival mechanism)
2. judging others = judging people (conscious decision)
1. using your judgement = judging your environment (subconscious survival mechanism)
2. judging others = judging people (conscious decision)
Now, why shouldn’t you judge others?
One of the first things I think of is…well, you have no clue what is going on in someone’s life. If someone struggles with alcohol abuse, you don’t know what has happened in their life leading up to this behaviour.
One of the first things I think of is…well, you have no clue what is going on in someone’s life. If someone struggles with alcohol abuse, you don’t know what has happened in their life leading up to this behaviour.
Secondly, judging others is often a form of projection — it’s a reflection of an insecurity you have.
When you spend precious energy fixated on someone’s success, it’s often because you’re jealous. You long for a piece of what they have. It’s not them, it’s you.
When you spend precious energy fixated on someone’s success, it’s often because you’re jealous. You long for a piece of what they have. It’s not them, it’s you.
Thirdly, judging others is an extremely low frequency behaviour. When you spend energy judging others, you’re summoning emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, resentment, hostility, and more. This negatively affects you, and others around you.
How do you stop judging others you ask? Well, let me give you some tips.
• Don’t assume malice. You don’t know what someone has been through - choose compassion.
• Reflect on why you judged this person. Is it because of an insecurity you have? Does this person resemble someone you don’t like?
• Focus on healing yourself. Remind yourself that it’s not that persons fault. You have some healing to do, don’t project that onto a stranger.
• Focus on healing yourself. Remind yourself that it’s not that persons fault. You have some healing to do, don’t project that onto a stranger.
I’m not perfect at this. No one is. It’s easier to judge others than to understand why you’re judging in the first place. But with practice, we can all limit the amount of time we spend judging others. This time can be used for more fruitful, positive thoughts & actions.
I have to give a quick shoutout to my fiancé @truthslurper who has called me out on this flaw of mine. He told me a quote early on in our relationship that has stuck with me:
“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity”.
“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity”.
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