Jeanne Torre
Jeanne Torre

@JTorreCoaching

12 Tweets Dec 15, 2022
I've coached 3000+ sessions and trained 400+ people to become coaches.
Questions are an important part of coaching.
Great ones create a powerful shift.
Bad ones keep people entrenched in the status quo.
Here's what Masterful Coaches know about GREAT QUESTIONS:
#1: Questions determine where the energy and focus go
A powerful question determines whether your client focuses on telling a NEW STORY about what they want,
or an OLD STORY they've told themselves 1000x.
Shift the energy and focus to what could be, not what is.
EXAMPLE:
🔥 "What's important about making this change?"
❌ "Tell me more about why you haven't ___"
One question directs the client to why a change is worth their time and energy.
The other reinforces their reasons why NOT.
(Stay tuned for when to address challenges.)
#2:  Questions are FOR THE CLIENT not the coach
The best questions are given to clients so they can ponder, explore, and discover.
If you're asking questions because you think you need more info to be helpful, you're asking for yourself.
And it puts clients in a passive role.
EXAMPLE:
🔥 "How would you like to show up in your relationships?"
❌ "What do you and your wife argue about?"
One directs clients to envision what they want to be different.
The other suggests *you'll* have the answer for them.
Keep the client in the driver's seat.
#3:  Questions are NOT ADVICE in disguise
Questions that begin with "Have you thought about...?" or "Have you tried...?" are advice in the form of a question.
This puts clients in defensive mode and reinforces the why NOT.
Instead, ask, "What have you tried?"
EXAMPLE:
🔥 "What have you found helpful in easing anxiety?"
❌ "Have you tried meditation?"
One directs the client to tap into what's worked before.
The other invites the YEAHBUTS. "Yeah, I've tried it, BUT (here are all the reasons it WON'T work.)"
Inquire > Advice
BONUS: Challenges
Address challenges AFTER identifying a clear goal and next steps.
Then the client is in problem-solving mode with specific parameters.
Any sooner, and you invite them to tell the same ole story about why they haven't taken action.
Unproductive.
EXAMPLE:
🔥 "Now that you have a detailed plan, what might make this challenging?"
❌ "Nice to meet you, so tell me what's gotten in the way of you ___?"
Before a plan: UGH - my life!
After a plan: YES - let's solve for that!
A good coach doesn't convince clients.
A good coach asks GREAT QUESTIONS to put clients in a position to convince themselves.
Notice where you direct your client's energy and focus.
A great question has the power to turn good sessions into transformative ones.
TL;DR
You don't become a great coach taking shortcuts.
That's a wrap!
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