This is relationship interdependence theory. It can help you to understand mate selection, divorce, and breakups better than just saying "hypergamy." ๐งต
Hypergamy is just a description of a behavior - a preference for mates of higher status.
As a description of behavior and not a theory, it doesn't really explain anything.
As a description of behavior and not a theory, it doesn't really explain anything.
(Hypergamy actually requires an explanation - theories in evolutionary psychology, for example, try to provide those explanations.)
Interdependence theory can help explain:
Why people break up with mates when there is no better alternative.
Why people select down.
Or, why people choose to stay with mates when there is a better alternative.
Why people break up with mates when there is no better alternative.
Why people select down.
Or, why people choose to stay with mates when there is a better alternative.
Relationship interdependence theory takes into consideration your comparison level.
Basically, what and where you are, as well as what you expect.
Basically, what and where you are, as well as what you expect.
It takes into account available alternatives - are better mates available.
And finally, the perceived rewards that you experience from your relationship.
These may be tangible, for example your mate providing a house for you.
They may also be intangible, for example if your mate makes you feel really good.
These may be tangible, for example your mate providing a house for you.
They may also be intangible, for example if your mate makes you feel really good.
This can help to explain both hypergamous and assortative selection.
For example, when there are many desirable alternatives - and you think that you deserve one of those and you are unhappy - you may be motivated to leave your current relationship and select up.
For example, when there are many desirable alternatives - and you think that you deserve one of those and you are unhappy - you may be motivated to leave your current relationship and select up.
At the same time, even if there are many desirable alternatives and even if you were able to get one of those, if your current partner is close to what you feel is on your own level, you may decide to stay in that relationship.
And the third factor, rewards, matter a lot.
You might very well be able to get a mate who is more attractive, or who has more money, but if you have high rewards in your current relationship this will be less motivating for you.
You might very well be able to get a mate who is more attractive, or who has more money, but if you have high rewards in your current relationship this will be less motivating for you.
I see "hypergamy" said often in discussions of divorce.
At the same time, when people divorce they often remain single for a period.
If they don't, they usually end up with mates who are pretty similar to their past partners. Be it looks, status, or whatever.
At the same time, when people divorce they often remain single for a period.
If they don't, they usually end up with mates who are pretty similar to their past partners. Be it looks, status, or whatever.
What seems to be a better explanation in many divorce cases, per relationship interdependence theory, is that the perceived benefits of the relationship have declined.
Or, that the person's own comparison level has increased.
Or, that the person's own comparison level has increased.
For example, someone realizing "I don't deserve this" and "I can do better" - feeling that the benefits they receive in their relationship are low, and/or that there may be a better option out there.
Or, even if there is not a better option that they are better alone.
Or, even if there is not a better option that they are better alone.
Interdependence theory also gives a good explanation for "settling" and for why you occasionally see couples that seem mismatched.
"He makes me happy" is real.
"He makes me happy" is real.
You can see it in the kinds of affairs people have or the new partners people choose when they leave their relationships.
Usually, it's someone within their own social circle and class.
Very often people met at work.
Not usually a peasant marrying a prince, so to speak.
Usually, it's someone within their own social circle and class.
Very often people met at work.
Not usually a peasant marrying a prince, so to speak.
The combination of "I was unhappy in my current relationship" + "new man/woman makes me happy" is the catalyst for mate switching.
Incidentally, mate switching theory slots in nicely here as well.
Incidentally, mate switching theory slots in nicely here as well.
So does the phenomenon of "falling off" in a relationship.
For example, going into a relationship as a physically fit person and becoming overweight.
Going from having lots of sex to having none.
Or losing your job and being unable to support your family.
For example, going into a relationship as a physically fit person and becoming overweight.
Going from having lots of sex to having none.
Or losing your job and being unable to support your family.
These are all things that move a partner down the scale relative to your own comparison level.
Sometimes people say online dating and social media has given people (usually said about women) standards that are higher, by giving them many options.
This would also be expected in interdependence theory - increased expectation or availability of alternatives.
This would also be expected in interdependence theory - increased expectation or availability of alternatives.
Similarly - not needing to marry a man for financial support.
Needing a financial provider may carry less weight on the "benefits" dimension of interdependence theory.
Needing a financial provider may carry less weight on the "benefits" dimension of interdependence theory.
Relevant to both interdependence theory and hypergamy is that the selection is made relative to the self.
Where you are positioned determines what you expect and what a selection "up" looks like.
Where you are positioned determines what you expect and what a selection "up" looks like.
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