As the World Cup draws to a close, we can reflect on a tournament that was... pretty bloody weird.
Everywhere you looked there were ridiculous stories.
From WAGs showered in piss to Samuel Eto'o's meltdown, here are our favourite moments from the knock-out stages...
Everywhere you looked there were ridiculous stories.
From WAGs showered in piss to Samuel Eto'o's meltdown, here are our favourite moments from the knock-out stages...
If you missed our rundown of the maddest moments from the group stage, catch up here.
Otherwise, scroll on...
Otherwise, scroll on...
One of the breakout stars was Croatia's Ivana Knoll.
When Qatari fans snapped a pic of her, a local businessman explained "they take a photo not because they like her, but because they don't like the way she is mis-dressed... probably to report it."
Yep, that'll be it.
When Qatari fans snapped a pic of her, a local businessman explained "they take a photo not because they like her, but because they don't like the way she is mis-dressed... probably to report it."
Yep, that'll be it.
John Stones and Kyle Walker shelled out two grand to fly home a stray tabby cat called Dave, who loitered around their Doha hotel.
But it's not all sunshine for Dave: as part of the repatriation process, he'll be having his balls chopped off.
Think I'd rather stay in Qatar...
But it's not all sunshine for Dave: as part of the repatriation process, he'll be having his balls chopped off.
Think I'd rather stay in Qatar...
Qatari ruler Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani took a break from World Cup duties to sponsor the Global Anti-Corruption Awards in Doha.
Among the gongs: a prize for "combatting corruption in sports", presented by FIFA President Gianni Infantino.
You couldn't make it up...
Among the gongs: a prize for "combatting corruption in sports", presented by FIFA President Gianni Infantino.
You couldn't make it up...
Morocco fans around the world celebrated victory by jumping in their cars, and cruising around beeping their horns.
Even the country's ruling elite joined the fun.
After Morocco upset Spain, King Mohammed VI summoned his armoured Range Rover for a victory lap of Rabat.
Even the country's ruling elite joined the fun.
After Morocco upset Spain, King Mohammed VI summoned his armoured Range Rover for a victory lap of Rabat.
Bet his security team were delighted... although Mohammed isn't exactly an orthodox monarch at the best of times.
Here he is on the streets of Paris in tie dye and an American flag weed leaf vest.
And yes, it really is him.
Here he is on the streets of Paris in tie dye and an American flag weed leaf vest.
And yes, it really is him.
After knocking England out of the World Cup, France goalkeeper Hugo Lloris texted his Tottenham teammate Harry Kane a few words of commiseration.
Naturally, there was much speculation on what the Frenchman's kindly message said.
But one BBC reader had another theory...
Naturally, there was much speculation on what the Frenchman's kindly message said.
But one BBC reader had another theory...
England's WAGs were once revered worldwide as "hooligans with visas".
So it was disappointing to hear the 2022 cohort had abandoned their cruise liner due to the "constant partying" of rowdy fans.
They jumped ship after a fan pissed into the lobby from a 5th floor balcony.
So it was disappointing to hear the 2022 cohort had abandoned their cruise liner due to the "constant partying" of rowdy fans.
They jumped ship after a fan pissed into the lobby from a 5th floor balcony.
Samuel Eto'o was ridiculed for tipping Morocco to make the final, with one journo declaring him "absolutely mental".
That doesn't look so silly now, but we can confirm Sam is, indeed, absolutely mental.
He assaulted an overzealous photographer in Doha, kneeing him in the head.
That doesn't look so silly now, but we can confirm Sam is, indeed, absolutely mental.
He assaulted an overzealous photographer in Doha, kneeing him in the head.
In fairness, he did apologise.
Although the Clinton Cards-style font doesn't lend itself to sincerity...
Although the Clinton Cards-style font doesn't lend itself to sincerity...
Rumours circulated that Serbia's Dusan Vlahovic was secretly shagging a teammate's wife.
After scoring against them for Switzerland, Granit Xhaka stared down the Serbia bench, grabbing his crotch in a thinly veiled wind up.
After scoring against them for Switzerland, Granit Xhaka stared down the Serbia bench, grabbing his crotch in a thinly veiled wind up.
It went down as well you'd expect...
England's premier brainbox, Bukayo "3 A*s" Saka, challenged his teammates to a spelling bee.
After cackling at James Maddison's attempt at "aesthetic", Saka ordered Grealish to spell "rhythm".
A puzzled Jack plumped for "R-H-Y-M-T-H".
After cackling at James Maddison's attempt at "aesthetic", Saka ordered Grealish to spell "rhythm".
A puzzled Jack plumped for "R-H-Y-M-T-H".
Despite the sub-zero temperatures, England fans flocked to godawful BoxPark arenas, to toast each goal by showering themselves with overpriced pints of Camden Hells.
Though if this bloke's anything to go by, it's getting a bit forced now...
Though if this bloke's anything to go by, it's getting a bit forced now...
When Portugal defender Pepe missed a header in the dying moment's of his side's defeat to Morocco, Jawad El Yamiq planted a grateful kiss on his shiny bald head.
After the game, Morocco goalkeeper Yassine Bounou brought his son to the post-match interviews.
As Bounou chatted with the press, his son mistook the microphone for an ice cream, and went in for a lick.
As Bounou chatted with the press, his son mistook the microphone for an ice cream, and went in for a lick.
There's one silver lining for players eliminated from the World Cup. They can jet off for a well-earned break, and return to their clubs in peak physical condition.
That's unless you break your leg on an Alpine ski trip, like Manuel Neuer did last week.
He's out for the season.
That's unless you break your leg on an Alpine ski trip, like Manuel Neuer did last week.
He's out for the season.
The World Cup is nearly over, but we cover all sport's other weirdest stories - from Eden Hazard's benders to Ryan Giggs' erotic poetry - in our free weekly email.
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