15 Ways people try to manipulate you and how to avoid being played:
Manipulation…
“Control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly or unscrupulously” – Oxford Dictionary
“To control or play upon by unfair, or insidious means to one’s own advantage, to serve one’s purpose” – Merriam-Webster
Here’s how to avoid being manipulated 👇👇
“Control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly or unscrupulously” – Oxford Dictionary
“To control or play upon by unfair, or insidious means to one’s own advantage, to serve one’s purpose” – Merriam-Webster
Here’s how to avoid being manipulated 👇👇
1. Loaded Questions
They are questions asked with an unfair assumption built into them.
For example:
“Why do you keep lying?”
“Why won’t you just admit you stole it?”
“Why won’t you just admit you’re wrong?”
They are questions asked with an unfair assumption built into them.
For example:
“Why do you keep lying?”
“Why won’t you just admit you stole it?”
“Why won’t you just admit you’re wrong?”
How to avoid manipulation:
Option 1: Never repeat a negative. State your positive.
Option 2: Reconfirm your position and clarify.
Option 3: Call attention to the faulty premise and disagree with it
Option 1: Never repeat a negative. State your positive.
Option 2: Reconfirm your position and clarify.
Option 3: Call attention to the faulty premise and disagree with it
2. The Free Lunch
A sneaky trick of manipulators is to offer you a ‘free’ gift or service, or something else you didn’t ask for, and then ask for something in return:
“Free appraisal”
“No strings attached”
“Obligation-free quote”
A sneaky trick of manipulators is to offer you a ‘free’ gift or service, or something else you didn’t ask for, and then ask for something in return:
“Free appraisal”
“No strings attached”
“Obligation-free quote”
How to avoid manipulation:
Recognize there is no such thing as a free lunch.
Always be suspicious of anything “free.”
If in doubt, ask them and find out what it is because there is almost always a hidden agenda.
Recognize there is no such thing as a free lunch.
Always be suspicious of anything “free.”
If in doubt, ask them and find out what it is because there is almost always a hidden agenda.
3. Jokes At Your Expense
Manipulators will make jokes at your expense – especially in front of others.
Maybe they tease you online or seek to humiliate you in front of others by making fun of the way you walk, talk, or dress.
Manipulators will make jokes at your expense – especially in front of others.
Maybe they tease you online or seek to humiliate you in front of others by making fun of the way you walk, talk, or dress.
How to avoid manipulation:
Don’t get angry; they’ll defend their behavior by saying they were “only joking” or “having fun.”
They might say that you’re being “overly emotional” or “too sensitive.”
Go along with the jokes; you'll remove their power when you’re not offended.
Don’t get angry; they’ll defend their behavior by saying they were “only joking” or “having fun.”
They might say that you’re being “overly emotional” or “too sensitive.”
Go along with the jokes; you'll remove their power when you’re not offended.
4. Act Above You
People are narcissistic and will act ‘above’ you or ‘better’ than you.
They act like they are...
The adult ❌
and
You are the child ❌
May make condescending…
Comments ❌
and
Facial expressions ❌
The message is they are ‘superior,’ to you.
People are narcissistic and will act ‘above’ you or ‘better’ than you.
They act like they are...
The adult ❌
and
You are the child ❌
May make condescending…
Comments ❌
and
Facial expressions ❌
The message is they are ‘superior,’ to you.
How to avoid manipulation:
In order for this strategy to work, you have to go along and buy into it.
Refuse to play their game.
No one is ‘above’ you. No one is ‘better’ than you. No one is ‘superior’ to you.
In order for this strategy to work, you have to go along and buy into it.
Refuse to play their game.
No one is ‘above’ you. No one is ‘better’ than you. No one is ‘superior’ to you.
5. Condensating Comments and Tone
People will try to talk down to you using a condescending/patronizing or dismissive tone in an attempt to belittle you:
“Don’t be silly…”
“Don’t be stupid…”
“You’re being ridiculous…”
People will try to talk down to you using a condescending/patronizing or dismissive tone in an attempt to belittle you:
“Don’t be silly…”
“Don’t be stupid…”
“You’re being ridiculous…”
How to avoid manipulation:
A smooth way to address this is to calmly ask for clarification.
“I want to ensure we’re on the same page and what you’re saying. You think [what you said] is me being silly?”
If your comment was fair, this will make them look ridiculous.
A smooth way to address this is to calmly ask for clarification.
“I want to ensure we’re on the same page and what you’re saying. You think [what you said] is me being silly?”
If your comment was fair, this will make them look ridiculous.
6. It Was Your Idea
How do they convince you that their idea is really your idea?
They plant ideas and suggestions in your mind and let you come to their own conclusion.
For example, McDonald’s has suggestive billboards everywhere that simply ask you a question: “Hungry?”
How do they convince you that their idea is really your idea?
They plant ideas and suggestions in your mind and let you come to their own conclusion.
For example, McDonald’s has suggestive billboards everywhere that simply ask you a question: “Hungry?”
How to avoid manipulation:
Don’t draw any conclusions; ask them to clarify.
Your partner might try to plant a seed by asking,
“Do you think we should go on holiday soon? I’ve heard Hawaii is nice this time of year…”
Respond with, “do you want to go on holiday soon?”
Don’t draw any conclusions; ask them to clarify.
Your partner might try to plant a seed by asking,
“Do you think we should go on holiday soon? I’ve heard Hawaii is nice this time of year…”
Respond with, “do you want to go on holiday soon?”
7. Dirty Looks and Death Stares
A shifty facial expression – paints a thousand words.
Aggressive/condescending facial expressions are used to intimidate and manipulate you into backing down and giving in.
A shifty facial expression – paints a thousand words.
Aggressive/condescending facial expressions are used to intimidate and manipulate you into backing down and giving in.
How to avoid manipulation:
Option one: Ignore them
Option two: Start a conversation
Option three: Smile back, making eye contact
Option one: Ignore them
Option two: Start a conversation
Option three: Smile back, making eye contact
8. Being Mean or A Bully
People bully because it works.
Most people are terrified of conflict and will just bow down to their wishes, and that’s where bullies thrive.
People bully because it works.
Most people are terrified of conflict and will just bow down to their wishes, and that’s where bullies thrive.
How to avoid manipulation:
The only solution is to stand up to the bully.
Refuse to do what they ask.
Refuse to be intimidated by them.
Refuse to submit to their demands.
The only solution is to stand up to the bully.
Refuse to do what they ask.
Refuse to be intimidated by them.
Refuse to submit to their demands.
9. Physical Intimidation
If someone is considerably bigger or taller than you, they might use their size to stand over you or in your personal space in an attempt to intimidate you.
If someone is considerably bigger or taller than you, they might use their size to stand over you or in your personal space in an attempt to intimidate you.
How to avoid manipulation:
Similar to dealing with a bully, the best thing to do is call them out on their actions.
Stand up for yourself by saying,
“I don’t care how big you are, I refuse…”
“I won’t do what you want just because you’re bigger than me.”
Similar to dealing with a bully, the best thing to do is call them out on their actions.
Stand up for yourself by saying,
“I don’t care how big you are, I refuse…”
“I won’t do what you want just because you’re bigger than me.”
10. Yelling
This is an aggressive tactic used to try to intimidate and manipulate.
They may not yell, but they might raise their voice and start talking louder than necessary to dominate the conversation.
This is an aggressive tactic used to try to intimidate and manipulate.
They may not yell, but they might raise their voice and start talking louder than necessary to dominate the conversation.
How to avoid manipulation:
Take control of the situation by walking away.
You don’t have to subject yourself to anyone belittling you.
Calmly tell them you’re leaving so you both can cool down.
Take control of the situation by walking away.
You don’t have to subject yourself to anyone belittling you.
Calmly tell them you’re leaving so you both can cool down.
11. Ignoring or Playing Hard To Get
This is when someone consciously tries to ignore you.
Maybe they…
Act disinterested whenever you try to speak.
Acknowledge everyone in the room but ignore you.
Don’t respond to your comments, questions, emails, calls, or texts.
This is when someone consciously tries to ignore you.
Maybe they…
Act disinterested whenever you try to speak.
Acknowledge everyone in the room but ignore you.
Don’t respond to your comments, questions, emails, calls, or texts.
How to avoid manipulation:
If someone ignores you, ignore them.
If they take one step back, take ten steps back.
If it’s a relationship, leave them, you don’t have time for games.
If it’s a coworker, call them out on it and address it with their manager if necessary.
If someone ignores you, ignore them.
If they take one step back, take ten steps back.
If it’s a relationship, leave them, you don’t have time for games.
If it’s a coworker, call them out on it and address it with their manager if necessary.
12. Guilt Trips
This is a favorite pastime of manipulators all over the world.
If someone doesn’t do you what you want, make them feel guilty:
“I thought we were friends.”
“I thought I could count on you.”
“I can’t believe how selfish you are!”
This is a favorite pastime of manipulators all over the world.
If someone doesn’t do you what you want, make them feel guilty:
“I thought we were friends.”
“I thought I could count on you.”
“I can’t believe how selfish you are!”
How to avoid manipulation:
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.
You don’t owe them anything, and you don’t need to do anything just because they want you to.
Their attempt to manipulate you shows they shouldn’t be in your life.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.
You don’t owe them anything, and you don’t need to do anything just because they want you to.
Their attempt to manipulate you shows they shouldn’t be in your life.
13. Playing the Victim
Poor me…
“I’m so busy!”
“I have so much work on!”
“I can’t do anything right!”
“Nothing I ever do is good enough!”
Poor me…
“I’m so busy!”
“I have so much work on!”
“I can’t do anything right!”
“Nothing I ever do is good enough!”
How to avoid manipulation:
Don’t take responsibility for their actions.
Just because it’s urgent for them doesn’t make it urgent for you.
Only accept them taking full responsibility for their actions and situation, anything else is having a victim mentality.
Don’t take responsibility for their actions.
Just because it’s urgent for them doesn’t make it urgent for you.
Only accept them taking full responsibility for their actions and situation, anything else is having a victim mentality.
14. Passive Aggressive
Manipulation is often indirect and subtle.
When someone won't…
Speaking up and saying no ❌
Or is resentful of having to do something ❌
They may…
Avoiding responsibility
Intentionally leave someone out
Agreeing to help and then doing a bad job
Manipulation is often indirect and subtle.
When someone won't…
Speaking up and saying no ❌
Or is resentful of having to do something ❌
They may…
Avoiding responsibility
Intentionally leave someone out
Agreeing to help and then doing a bad job
How to avoid manipulation:
Establish clear standards and regularly reiterate what you want from them, so that you can hold them to account.
Explain that their negative behavior will not be tolerated, and set out what will happen if they do step out of line again.
Establish clear standards and regularly reiterate what you want from them, so that you can hold them to account.
Explain that their negative behavior will not be tolerated, and set out what will happen if they do step out of line again.
15. Purposely Being Difficult
Some people have difficult personalities.
If they sense you want their approval/validation/friendship, they’ll purposely withhold it in an attempt to manipulate you.
If you say black, they say white. 🤦♂️
If you say wrong, they say right. 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Some people have difficult personalities.
If they sense you want their approval/validation/friendship, they’ll purposely withhold it in an attempt to manipulate you.
If you say black, they say white. 🤦♂️
If you say wrong, they say right. 🤦♂️🤦♂️
How to avoid manipulation:
Don’t make any effort to befriend, build rapport, or win over these types of people.
Most of them have terrible personalities and aren’t worth your time.
If you have to work with them, have very clear boundaries and standards.
Don’t make any effort to befriend, build rapport, or win over these types of people.
Most of them have terrible personalities and aren’t worth your time.
If you have to work with them, have very clear boundaries and standards.
Summary:
Do you hate manipulative behavior?
Bullies
Sociopaths
Sweet talkers
The world is full of people who won’t hesitate to use you for personal gain.
Bookmark this thread so you can reread it.
Learn their tactics and how to avoid them. 🙏
Do you hate manipulative behavior?
Bullies
Sociopaths
Sweet talkers
The world is full of people who won’t hesitate to use you for personal gain.
Bookmark this thread so you can reread it.
Learn their tactics and how to avoid them. 🙏
If you found value in this thread, please RT the first tweet.
Thank you for reading!
If you enjoy this content, follow me @pechacek_amy for more!
Thank you for reading!
If you enjoy this content, follow me @pechacek_amy for more!
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