Underrated skill:
Standing up for yourself without getting emotionally worked up.
How to set boundaries (5-step framework)
Standing up for yourself without getting emotionally worked up.
How to set boundaries (5-step framework)
1. Build Self-Worth with Affirmations
You are worthy of being stood up for.
But to take action, YOU must first believe it too.
Use affirmations to build your confidence.
These've helped me:
You are worthy of being stood up for.
But to take action, YOU must first believe it too.
Use affirmations to build your confidence.
These've helped me:
2. Define Your Boundaries
Get clear about what you don't accept.
Define your boundaries based on past experiences—and add new ones as they arise.
Here are some ideas (create your own):
Get clear about what you don't accept.
Define your boundaries based on past experiences—and add new ones as they arise.
Here are some ideas (create your own):
3. Observe Your Emotions
Normalize standing up for yourself without getting emotionally worked up.
How?
Start observing emotions as they arise.
Stop letting negative emotions consume you.
It's the difference between crossing a placid stream now
Or raging rapids in 60 sec...
Normalize standing up for yourself without getting emotionally worked up.
How?
Start observing emotions as they arise.
Stop letting negative emotions consume you.
It's the difference between crossing a placid stream now
Or raging rapids in 60 sec...
How to observe your emotions:
1. Build the skill of observation through meditation and journaling.
2. In a triggering moment, separate yourself from your emotion.
3. Instead, ask: What is this emotion trying to tell me?
(Emotions are often messages to take action.)
1. Build the skill of observation through meditation and journaling.
2. In a triggering moment, separate yourself from your emotion.
3. Instead, ask: What is this emotion trying to tell me?
(Emotions are often messages to take action.)
4. Communicate Your Boundaries
Below is a boundary-setting template.
While there's no one-size-fits-all to conflict management,
Use this framework to help guide your approach:
Below is a boundary-setting template.
While there's no one-size-fits-all to conflict management,
Use this framework to help guide your approach:
Tips for communicating boundaries:
• Be hard on the problem, soft on the person.
• Be clear and direct about what you expect.
• Stay open to compromise while still maintaining your boundaries.
• Consider telling a trusted 3rd party for support & accountability.
• Be hard on the problem, soft on the person.
• Be clear and direct about what you expect.
• Stay open to compromise while still maintaining your boundaries.
• Consider telling a trusted 3rd party for support & accountability.
5. Enforce Your Boundaries
In life, you always have 3 options:
Change it, leave it, or accept it.
You tried to change the situation (with a boundary-setting convo).
Now you can either:
1. Leave the relationship
2. Accept boundary violations
In life, you always have 3 options:
Change it, leave it, or accept it.
You tried to change the situation (with a boundary-setting convo).
Now you can either:
1. Leave the relationship
2. Accept boundary violations
No adult relationship is worth sacrificing your self-worth IMO.
TL;DR Boundary-Setting Framework:
1. Build your self-worth with affirmations
2. Define your boundaries
3. Observe your emotions
4. Communicate your boundaries
5. Enforce your boundaries
1. Build your self-worth with affirmations
2. Define your boundaries
3. Observe your emotions
4. Communicate your boundaries
5. Enforce your boundaries
There you have it—a framework for setting boundaries.
It may be easier said than done.
But staying angry and having your boundaries violated is the hardest of all.
Know this: You are worthy of being stood up for.
Today, in 2023, always.
It may be easier said than done.
But staying angry and having your boundaries violated is the hardest of all.
Know this: You are worthy of being stood up for.
Today, in 2023, always.
Thanks for reading. Follow me @SystemSunday for more posts like this.
Disclaimer:
This thread assumes that you're dealing with law-abiding people.
If your safety is in danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) or local authorities.
This thread assumes that you're dealing with law-abiding people.
If your safety is in danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) or local authorities.
P.S. If you like personal development, you'll love my weekly newsletter (it’s free).
Every Sunday I feature the best systems for health, wealth, and free time.
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Every Sunday I feature the best systems for health, wealth, and free time.
Try it here:
getrevue.co
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