René Girard wrote that our similarities cause more conflict than our differences.
How can this be?
Let me explain, with a story from "American Psycho."
How can this be?
Let me explain, with a story from "American Psycho."
The business card scene in American Psycho begins in an upscale Wall Street boardroom, with a young and successful banker named Patrick Bateman. He's surrounded by bankers who look just like him. They wear the same suits, go to the same barber, and dine at the same restaurants.
The men present their business cards as a way to flex on each other. Bateman begins. With a smug smile, he says: “That’s bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.”
Then another banker presents his card. He says: "Eggshell, with a Romalian type."
The social temperature rises. Pride fills the room. The camera zooms in on the two business cards, which are as undistinguishable as their designers. Both cards are white with blue lettering. Company name and number at the top. In the middle is their title: "Vice President.”
Bateman clenches his fist when he sees how the group slightly favors the newcomer's card. Next, another lookalike banker flicks his business card on the table, and says: “Raised lettering. Pale nimbus white.”
Now Bateman is livid. His face starts sweating. Matters get worse when his rival Paul’s (nearly indistinguishable) card is thrown on the table. Bateman comments: "Look at that subtle off-white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.”
Bateman broils with anger. That anger leads Bateman to kill Paul later in the movie.
Of course, not every Mimetic rivalry ends in a murdering spree. Bateman is a “psycho.” But the movie dramatizes how small differences lead to bitter rivalries.
Of course, not every Mimetic rivalry ends in a murdering spree. Bateman is a “psycho.” But the movie dramatizes how small differences lead to bitter rivalries.
The problem is how all bankers gun for the same goal of being “the most successful banker.” The objects associated with them — fancy suits, restaurant reservations, and yes… business cards — all become zero-sum status symbols where the duel for superiority takes place.
Even if the material world is positive sum, the world of status is basically zero-sum. Everybody can get rich, but only one person is the top dog. Girard believes that similar self-conceptions, like the bankers in this boardroom, is the cause of conflict.
Despite their similarities, they are so caught up in their narrow world that they perceive radical differences amongst each other. Differences in type and color on a business card are indistinguishable to an outsider, but represent large gaps in taste and character to these men.
Bateman uses this illusionary distance between him and the other bankers to legitimize his killing sprees. This is the essence of Girardian conflict.
Once again, our similarities lead to conflict more than our differences.
Once again, our similarities lead to conflict more than our differences.
The story of American Psycho reveals the dynamics of Mimetic rivalry. Here’s how it works: Similarity leads to competition. Competition produces more similarity. Trivial differences between people are used to justify violence, and not just in the movies.
Take a political example. Cable television stations like CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News look like opposites to people inside the media. They use the same bold headlines, reporting styles, dramatic clips, and attention grabbing graphics. If you squint, they basically look the same.
Great rivalries are born out of the smallest of differences. Sigmund Freud called this “the narcissism of small differences.” People with the most commonalities are the 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 to get swept up in interpersonal feuds.
The narcissism of small differences explains consumer culture too. Companies use advertising to magnify the differences among each other. But somehow, it seems that the more brands try to differentiate themselves from one another, the more their underlying products look the same.
Fashion brands claim to be differentiated, but even their logos increasingly resemble one another too.
The concrete take away from all of this is clear: Have different goals than the people around you. Seek a unique identity. Aim for a lack of competition with your friends, colleagues, and loved ones. Through differentiation, you can cultivate peace and cooperation.
If you'd like to see Mimetic rivalry in action, here's the whole boardroom scene from American Psycho.
If you want to learn more about Mimetic rivalries, you’ll like this lecture I recorded with @JohnathanBi.
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