You might remember Jese Rodriguez as a misfiring Stoke striker with a penchant for awful sunglasses.
But his off-field antics are worthy of a soap opera.
From exploding apartments to getting run over by his fiancΓ©e, here's the story of his truly ludicrous life...
But his off-field antics are worthy of a soap opera.
From exploding apartments to getting run over by his fiancΓ©e, here's the story of his truly ludicrous life...
The Spanish striker was once tipped as Real Madrid's hottest prospect, and ominously dubbed "the next Ronaldo."
But things didn't quite go to plan...
But things didn't quite go to plan...
Aged 21 and out injured, his home life literally went up in flames when his apartment exploded after a gas leak.
Jese was carried out by firemen and spent the rest of the season on the sidelines.
Jese was carried out by firemen and spent the rest of the season on the sidelines.
It summed up his time at Real, when Jese partied hard, rarely played, and sired two kids.
After proudly naming his first son Jese Jr, he learned of his second on Instagram, when an ex-girlfriend posted pictures of a new born child with the hashtags #oursonishere #jeserodriguez.
After proudly naming his first son Jese Jr, he learned of his second on Instagram, when an ex-girlfriend posted pictures of a new born child with the hashtags #oursonishere #jeserodriguez.
Football (and fatherhood) took a back seat as Jese threw himself into the Spanish celebrity scene, releasing a string of godawful pop songs under his reggaeton alter ego, Jey M.
His prowess on the mic soon caught the eye of Spanish reality star Aurah Ruiz, and the pair began a rocky relationship.
By 2016, things had soured with Real, but Jese somehow earned a move to PSG.
Aurah joined him in Paris, where, despite rumours of cheating, they had a son.
By 2016, things had soured with Real, but Jese somehow earned a move to PSG.
Aurah joined him in Paris, where, despite rumours of cheating, they had a son.
But things were about to unravel.
After PSG reject him, Jese is sent on loan to the glamorous climes of Staffordshire, and Tony Pulis' Stoke City. Not fancying a move to the Potteries, Aurah runs a mile.
She then takes him to court for neglecting his duties as a father.
After PSG reject him, Jese is sent on loan to the glamorous climes of Staffordshire, and Tony Pulis' Stoke City. Not fancying a move to the Potteries, Aurah runs a mile.
She then takes him to court for neglecting his duties as a father.
But Aurah doesn't do her lawyers any favours when she checks herself into the Celebrity Big Brother house soon after.
She lasts 71 days before her housemates nominate her for eviction.
Jese sees his chance and splashes out β¬5,000 on text messages to successfully vote her off.
She lasts 71 days before her housemates nominate her for eviction.
Jese sees his chance and splashes out β¬5,000 on text messages to successfully vote her off.
Back in the real world, the scheming Stoke striker doubles down.
He countersues Aurah for slander and harassment, demanding she "be sentenced to three to five years in prison."
He countersues Aurah for slander and harassment, demanding she "be sentenced to three to five years in prison."
He triumphs in their courtroom showdown, as the judge sentences Aurah to 9 days community service.
But there are gasps from the gallery as Jese and Aurah walk out of the courtroom hand in hand, kissing on the steps in front of the stunned press pack.
But there are gasps from the gallery as Jese and Aurah walk out of the courtroom hand in hand, kissing on the steps in front of the stunned press pack.
The reunited lovers jet off to Gran Canaria to celebrate Aurah's 31st birthday with a lockdown-busting bash.
Inevitably the tabloids get hold of photos and Paris St Germain reprimand Jese for flouting social distancing rules.
But he's got bigger problems than PSG...
Inevitably the tabloids get hold of photos and Paris St Germain reprimand Jese for flouting social distancing rules.
But he's got bigger problems than PSG...
Two days later, Aurah returns home to find Jese knobbing her close friend and fellow model, Amar Rocio on the sofa.
She goes ballistic, attacking them with one of those sticks you use to clean swimming pools before throwing their furniture in the pool.
She goes ballistic, attacking them with one of those sticks you use to clean swimming pools before throwing their furniture in the pool.
In retaliation, Amar shares clips of Jese calling Aurah "boring" and "crazy", and threatens to expose their "sexual encounter" in a nightclub.
Aurah escapes her chaotic home life to return to the safe confines of reality TV, spilling the beans on celeb dross pit La Casa Fuerta.
Aurah escapes her chaotic home life to return to the safe confines of reality TV, spilling the beans on celeb dross pit La Casa Fuerta.
A despairing Jese then phones the TV channel to speak to Aurah.
"I see that you are not happy", he tells her in a phone call broadcast live to millions.
She's not the only one - PSG finally tire of the "stain" Jese's private life is causing the club, and sack him.
"I see that you are not happy", he tells her in a phone call broadcast live to millions.
She's not the only one - PSG finally tire of the "stain" Jese's private life is causing the club, and sack him.
Single and clubless, the former Real Madrid wonderkid retreats to the Spanish second tier, joining Canary Islands side Las Palmas.
But just as he's rediscovering his goalscoring form, news breaks that Jese has been the victim of a hit and run car incident.
But just as he's rediscovering his goalscoring form, news breaks that Jese has been the victim of a hit and run car incident.
Grainy video footage emerges showing the striker limping at the roadside, and witnesses report a woman matching Aurah's description speeding away from the scene.
Both Jese and Aurah deny she ran him over.
Both Jese and Aurah deny she ran him over.
For most couples, serial adultery, court battles and road rage would be enough to sink them.
But Jese and Aurah are built of sterner stuff: last year they shocked the Tenerife Z List celeb circuit by announcing their surprise engagement with a naff photo opp in Dubai.
But Jese and Aurah are built of sterner stuff: last year they shocked the Tenerife Z List celeb circuit by announcing their surprise engagement with a naff photo opp in Dubai.
And it looks like things are finally on the up: the pair tied the knot in the summer, and last week announced Aurah is pregnant with Jese's sixth child.
What could possibly go wrong?
What could possibly go wrong?
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