The ability to make new friends & allies is a crucial skill no matter where you go.
Yet most people have trouble joining existing groups and making their place in new environments.
Here are the exact steps to follow to integrate a new group of people effortlessly:
Yet most people have trouble joining existing groups and making their place in new environments.
Here are the exact steps to follow to integrate a new group of people effortlessly:
1. Don't let the group pick you:
This is where it all starts.
Many times, you will find yourself around people you have no interest in. Especially when joining a new environment, you may find yourself hanging out with people that don't necessarily interest you.
This is where it all starts.
Many times, you will find yourself around people you have no interest in. Especially when joining a new environment, you may find yourself hanging out with people that don't necessarily interest you.
This is why it's important that YOU pick the group of people you want to be around
You shouldn't be someone that simply goes with whoever approaches them
Because if your interests turn out to be diverging, you are more likely to get influenced by them than benefit from them
You shouldn't be someone that simply goes with whoever approaches them
Because if your interests turn out to be diverging, you are more likely to get influenced by them than benefit from them
2. Observe the Power Dynamics & Codes:
In any group of people, there will be a hierarchy and social codes that the group obeys.
Most of the time, these things are unspoken.
But let me list 6 questions to help you identify the dynamics of ANY groups.
In any group of people, there will be a hierarchy and social codes that the group obeys.
Most of the time, these things are unspoken.
But let me list 6 questions to help you identify the dynamics of ANY groups.
1. Who calls the shots?
2. Who's desperately seeking attention?
3. Who do people look up to?
4. How long did the members of the group know each other?
5. How does the group treat new people?
6. Who decides what's funny and what is not? (very important)
2. Who's desperately seeking attention?
3. Who do people look up to?
4. How long did the members of the group know each other?
5. How does the group treat new people?
6. Who decides what's funny and what is not? (very important)
3. Make Friends with the Leader:
The best way to ensure you get a respectable position within a group is by joining it through the higher-ups rather than being introduced through regular members.
If your entry ticket is the leader of the group, you get better treatment.
The best way to ensure you get a respectable position within a group is by joining it through the higher-ups rather than being introduced through regular members.
If your entry ticket is the leader of the group, you get better treatment.
Of course, this might make some people suspicious or envious of you, but that's why it's important to observe the power dynamics beforehand. It will help you forecast their reaction and know who is likely to cause you trouble.
4. Don't compromise on your boundaries:
Although we made sure to reduce friction, there will still be people who will try and test your boundaries at the beginning.
It is of utmost importance that you do not compromise on them and set them as clear as possible.
Although we made sure to reduce friction, there will still be people who will try and test your boundaries at the beginning.
It is of utmost importance that you do not compromise on them and set them as clear as possible.
How you express your boundaries sets the tone for how all the group will treat you.
If you let things slide too early, you will fail to make a respectable place.
If you let things slide too early, you will fail to make a respectable place.
One last thing:
Do not be too available.
Always keep a distance from your groups of friends and avoid their drama.
Spending too much time with a specific group makes respect and boundaries erode and can lead to unhealthy dynamics.
Stay in control of your time and attention.
Do not be too available.
Always keep a distance from your groups of friends and avoid their drama.
Spending too much time with a specific group makes respect and boundaries erode and can lead to unhealthy dynamics.
Stay in control of your time and attention.
End.
If you enjoyed this thread:
1. Follow me @EgoDriv for more of these
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If you enjoyed this thread:
1. Follow me @EgoDriv for more of these
2. RT the tweet below to share this thread with your audience
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