How to become a skilled listener.
The Samaritans Framework:
The Samaritans Framework:
Effective listening is one of the most powerful accelerators for your career and personal relationships.
The Samaritans Framework was developed for high-stakes conversations—Helplines—but can be applied to any conversation.
Here's what it is and how to apply it:
The Samaritans Framework was developed for high-stakes conversations—Helplines—but can be applied to any conversation.
Here's what it is and how to apply it:
1. Open-Ended Questions
Open questions get to the root cause of peoples feelings.
Example:
• How did that make you feel?
• What are your thoughts on that?
These:
• Take assumptions off the table
• Elicit thoughtful answers
• Allow you to connect on a far deeper level
Open questions get to the root cause of peoples feelings.
Example:
• How did that make you feel?
• What are your thoughts on that?
These:
• Take assumptions off the table
• Elicit thoughtful answers
• Allow you to connect on a far deeper level
2. Summarizing
This is a simple way to check your understanding.
Example:
• Let me make sure I understand…
• Just to be clear, you’re saying that…
Then repeat a quick summary of what you heard.
If there are any misunderstandings on your end, this will clear them up.
This is a simple way to check your understanding.
Example:
• Let me make sure I understand…
• Just to be clear, you’re saying that…
Then repeat a quick summary of what you heard.
If there are any misunderstandings on your end, this will clear them up.
3. Reflecting
Reflecting prevents you from inserting your own ideas into a conversation.
Example:
• They might say, “My mom hates me.”
• And you could say, “Hates you?”
This helps creates space for them to remain comfortable and talking.
Reflecting prevents you from inserting your own ideas into a conversation.
Example:
• They might say, “My mom hates me.”
• And you could say, “Hates you?”
This helps creates space for them to remain comfortable and talking.
4. Clarifying
Clarifying questions help others process their feelings and provide further context for you to understand.
Example:
• Could you clarify
• Would you elaborate on
• Could you be more explicit about
Both parties will be clear about what is being said and why.
Clarifying questions help others process their feelings and provide further context for you to understand.
Example:
• Could you clarify
• Would you elaborate on
• Could you be more explicit about
Both parties will be clear about what is being said and why.
5. Short Words of Encouragement
Encouraging words put the “active” in the “active listening.”
Example:
Phrases like “ah,” “mhmm,” “yes,” and “true” show you’re engaged and attentive.
Listening in silence offers no clues that you’re listening or understanding.
Encouraging words put the “active” in the “active listening.”
Example:
Phrases like “ah,” “mhmm,” “yes,” and “true” show you’re engaged and attentive.
Listening in silence offers no clues that you’re listening or understanding.
6. Reacting
Reacting is showing a genuine response to let the speaker know you empathize with them.
Example:
• Them: “We won the tournament!”
• You: “Hell yeah, you did!”
Meet them where they're at.
If they're excited, be excited.
If they're calm, be calm.
Reacting is showing a genuine response to let the speaker know you empathize with them.
Example:
• Them: “We won the tournament!”
• You: “Hell yeah, you did!”
Meet them where they're at.
If they're excited, be excited.
If they're calm, be calm.
The Samaritans Framework isn’t just for helplines.
Anyone who wants to improve their conversational skills can use it.
Start by asking open-ended questions, and over time, slowly apply the rest.
For more on this framework, head to the following source: clearerthinking.org
Anyone who wants to improve their conversational skills can use it.
Start by asking open-ended questions, and over time, slowly apply the rest.
For more on this framework, head to the following source: clearerthinking.org
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I share mental models (weekly), high-quality links to the best content I find (monthly), and exclusive subscriber resources (a few times per year).
You can join here: alexbrogan.beehiiv.com
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