Real Life Situation: She was a comfort to him.
I was at an 'aqdu-n-Nikāh yesterday and the following ensued between the father and his daughter.
The father said to his daughter (who is being married as a second wife):
I was at an 'aqdu-n-Nikāh yesterday and the following ensued between the father and his daughter.
The father said to his daughter (who is being married as a second wife):
Father:....Called out the first wife and turns to his daughter.....You see this woman (first wife)! She was a comfort to him and that's why he can think of you as a second wife.
Ensure that you are marrying him to add more to his comfort and not to reduce his comfort.
Ensure that you are marrying him to add more to his comfort and not to reduce his comfort.
Thereafter, he said to his daughter....like how much do you want him to be giving you for preparing a meal?
Daughter:..... exhibits shyness without saying a word.
Father:....I have asked you so as to get a response.
Daughter:....like 40,000 naira sir. 🙄
Daughter:..... exhibits shyness without saying a word.
Father:....I have asked you so as to get a response.
Daughter:....like 40,000 naira sir. 🙄
Father:....So, you think he would be able to have the means to marry another wife if he has been giving his first wife 40,000 naira for only meal preparation every week? What happened to other food items, clothing and shelter? 👌
Part of your being a comfort to him is not to seek what is beyond his strength.
Pray for him that Allaah enriches him more.
Then, your first wife's children, who are they to you?
Daughter: My children sir.....
Pray for him that Allaah enriches him more.
Then, your first wife's children, who are they to you?
Daughter: My children sir.....
Father: Good! You passed this one. Her kids are your children and their mother is your link to your husband.
She knows him better and she will be a guide for you.
Don't say: I don't need to ask her anything. I will study him myself. I'm a wife too!
She knows him better and she will be a guide for you.
Don't say: I don't need to ask her anything. I will study him myself. I'm a wife too!
Showcase humility before her and never be too forward when decisions are being taken.
She is the eldest wife who has been the drive in the home before you.
Islām encourages honor and humility to the elderly one.
....then the father turns to the first wife.
She is the eldest wife who has been the drive in the home before you.
Islām encourages honor and humility to the elderly one.
....then the father turns to the first wife.
My sister! She doesn't know anything about marriage. Kindly overlook her faults and guide her sincerely.
The feeling of I'm a wife too will sometimes overwhelm her and make her not give a damn.
I plead with you to overlook for Allaah's sake and be patient.
The feeling of I'm a wife too will sometimes overwhelm her and make her not give a damn.
I plead with you to overlook for Allaah's sake and be patient.
I'm a Scholar in my own premise and I do tell other Scholars that our cultural influence cannot be totally removed from our marital and societal relationships. It naturally determines relationships. However, we adopt from the cultural norms that which conforms with the sharee'a.
Respect yourselves as wives and give yourselves honor so that your kids will see you both as mothers and models.
May Allaah bless your both stays in his house.
End of quote.
© Farouk Aleem Al-Egbaawiy
May Allaah bless your both stays in his house.
End of quote.
© Farouk Aleem Al-Egbaawiy
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