I was dating someone a couple years ago.
There was a peculiar quality about this guy, which often annoyed me:
He was very observant.
He noticed things about my behavior and brought them to my attention in unexpected ways.
And he called me out on my bullshit all the time.
There was a peculiar quality about this guy, which often annoyed me:
He was very observant.
He noticed things about my behavior and brought them to my attention in unexpected ways.
And he called me out on my bullshit all the time.
When he visited, we would play cards and drink vodka at the dining table, which wasn't far from the kitchen sink.
One of those nights, I got up to wash a few dishes.
I was tense and self-conscious, as I could feel his keen stare piercing at the back of my neck.
One of those nights, I got up to wash a few dishes.
I was tense and self-conscious, as I could feel his keen stare piercing at the back of my neck.
He pointed at the way I placed my fingers precisely enough to channel the water toward the dish so that I could rinse it well.
I hadn't been aware of doing this for years.
It made me wonder...
Where did I learn to do this?
I hadn't been aware of doing this for years.
It made me wonder...
Where did I learn to do this?
When I was a kid,
I sat at the table and watched my grandmother as she washed the dishes this way.
Surely, I must've picked up it there.
But, what else was I doing unconsciously?
I sat at the table and watched my grandmother as she washed the dishes this way.
Surely, I must've picked up it there.
But, what else was I doing unconsciously?
You've likely heard about this:
Following your curiosities leads you to finding your purpose and becoming creative.
But I want to focus on how curiosity directed inward transforms you entirely in the process of looking within.
Following your curiosities leads you to finding your purpose and becoming creative.
But I want to focus on how curiosity directed inward transforms you entirely in the process of looking within.
Curiosity opens doors.
It's the growth mindset in action. Curiosity primes your mind to receive more information.
This knowledge can turn into wisdom, especially if you're directing curiosity at yourself.
But... where to start?
It's the growth mindset in action. Curiosity primes your mind to receive more information.
This knowledge can turn into wisdom, especially if you're directing curiosity at yourself.
But... where to start?
Your story
Your upbringing holds much about how you relate to the world as an adult.
Your relationship to your parent of the opposite gender determines a lot about how you choose your romantic partner.
Your self-talk resembles the way your parents disciplined you growing up.
Your upbringing holds much about how you relate to the world as an adult.
Your relationship to your parent of the opposite gender determines a lot about how you choose your romantic partner.
Your self-talk resembles the way your parents disciplined you growing up.
Your emotions
There's an entire repertoire of emotions you're wired to experience.
And each emotion carries an array of stories attached to them about how you relate to your reality.
There's an entire repertoire of emotions you're wired to experience.
And each emotion carries an array of stories attached to them about how you relate to your reality.
Your patterns
You do things in repetitive ways all the time. Some are evident straightaway, like daily routines and habits (good and bad).
Others come in cycles. Like, say, people pleasing behaviors or toxic relationships.
Investigate your patterns and how they began.
You do things in repetitive ways all the time. Some are evident straightaway, like daily routines and habits (good and bad).
Others come in cycles. Like, say, people pleasing behaviors or toxic relationships.
Investigate your patterns and how they began.
Your perspective about the world
Your worldview orients the way you relate to to, well, the world.
To develop clarity and direction in your life, you need to have an understanding of what you believe.
Dissect your thoughts about:
Destiny
Spirituality
Humanity
Meaning
Purpose
Your worldview orients the way you relate to to, well, the world.
To develop clarity and direction in your life, you need to have an understanding of what you believe.
Dissect your thoughts about:
Destiny
Spirituality
Humanity
Meaning
Purpose
Your triggers
People who investigate their triggers improve their relationships to themselves and other people.
Question yourself whenever:
- You blame or criticize others
- A situation makes you reactive in any way
- Someone says something that pisses you off
People who investigate their triggers improve their relationships to themselves and other people.
Question yourself whenever:
- You blame or criticize others
- A situation makes you reactive in any way
- Someone says something that pisses you off
Your defense mechanisms
When you're triggered you react in several ways to protect your ego from discomfort.
A few:
- Projection: blaming others for what you are doing.
- Rationalization: excuses you make to justify your behaviors.
- Denial: not owning uncomfortable truths.
When you're triggered you react in several ways to protect your ego from discomfort.
A few:
- Projection: blaming others for what you are doing.
- Rationalization: excuses you make to justify your behaviors.
- Denial: not owning uncomfortable truths.
Understanding the actual mechanism behind your reactivity lets you pull apart your conditioning to understand your uncomfortable emotions.
Understanding your heavy emotions lets you understand your pain.
Understanding your pain lets you heal.
Understanding your heavy emotions lets you understand your pain.
Understanding your pain lets you heal.
Your relationships
Everyone else is a mirror right back to our unresolved wounds.
Look at your social interactions and intimate relationships with a lens of curiosity.
This way, you find the core wounds and the conditioning you adopted to avoid the pain those cause.
Everyone else is a mirror right back to our unresolved wounds.
Look at your social interactions and intimate relationships with a lens of curiosity.
This way, you find the core wounds and the conditioning you adopted to avoid the pain those cause.
Your opinions
I've talked out of my ass way more times than I've cared to count.
I'd get into heated arguments with people to only ask myself later:
Do I actually believe in all the shit I talked?
Don't take your own opinions at face value.
Question them often.
I've talked out of my ass way more times than I've cared to count.
I'd get into heated arguments with people to only ask myself later:
Do I actually believe in all the shit I talked?
Don't take your own opinions at face value.
Question them often.
Your addictions
You can be addicted to absolutely anything. Drugs, videogames, books, approval...
Even other people.
Addiction is a way to soften your deepest pains.
But growth is painful and confronting your suppressed pain is how you grow.
You can be addicted to absolutely anything. Drugs, videogames, books, approval...
Even other people.
Addiction is a way to soften your deepest pains.
But growth is painful and confronting your suppressed pain is how you grow.
Your mind
"Psyche" is just another word for soul. Your soul is your energy.
Observe the content of your thoughts to understand the quality of your energy.
What influences it?
Is it destructive or constructive?
Witness your mind, witness where your soul tends to.
"Psyche" is just another word for soul. Your soul is your energy.
Observe the content of your thoughts to understand the quality of your energy.
What influences it?
Is it destructive or constructive?
Witness your mind, witness where your soul tends to.
But... how can you actually put this into practice?
Awareness is a never ending investigation.
You might get answers this week and something happens that changes them later.
Here are two possibilities of practice:
Awareness is a never ending investigation.
You might get answers this week and something happens that changes them later.
Here are two possibilities of practice:
1. Talk to yourself
Ask yourself questions. Answer out loud.
Give lengthy answers. Self-reflect.
Develop your thoughts as if someone was interviewing you.
You can do it alone at night, or while driving or walking.
Record it and play it back later.
Ask yourself questions. Answer out loud.
Give lengthy answers. Self-reflect.
Develop your thoughts as if someone was interviewing you.
You can do it alone at night, or while driving or walking.
Record it and play it back later.
2. Write it out
Talking to yourself out loud might not be practical for privacy reasons.
Or you know, maybe you don't want people to think you're crazy (with practice you'll stop caring about this, btw).
But journaling is the hack.
THE hack.
Talking to yourself out loud might not be practical for privacy reasons.
Or you know, maybe you don't want people to think you're crazy (with practice you'll stop caring about this, btw).
But journaling is the hack.
THE hack.
Journaling helps you study your thoughts AND keep a record of them at the same time.
In writing, you develop self-awareness and a positive relationship with yourself.
It's also very relaxing and supports your mental health as you unload your mental energy to the paper.
In writing, you develop self-awareness and a positive relationship with yourself.
It's also very relaxing and supports your mental health as you unload your mental energy to the paper.
@itsKelspiration and I created a guided journal to improve your self-awareness and help you build a positive relationship with yourself.
We're launching that real soon.
Here's a sneak peak:
We're launching that real soon.
Here's a sneak peak:
Humility is your capacity for personal growth.
It is honesty to the point you're aware of
- Who you are (and aren't)
- What you possess or lack
- What you can learn.
What is the prerequisite of humility?
Self-curiosity.
It is honesty to the point you're aware of
- Who you are (and aren't)
- What you possess or lack
- What you can learn.
What is the prerequisite of humility?
Self-curiosity.
Self-curiosity is the art of insight. The habit of introspection. The gift of self-awareness.
I promise:
If you stay curious about who you are, you won't get bored, and you'll grow tons.
When you open a curious door to yourself, you step into a world of endless possibility.
I promise:
If you stay curious about who you are, you won't get bored, and you'll grow tons.
When you open a curious door to yourself, you step into a world of endless possibility.
A summary:
Become curious about yourself to transform and grow.
Observe your:
Story
Emotions
Patterns
Worldview
Triggers
Defense mechanisms
Relationships
Opinions
Addictions
Mind
Journal or ask yourself questions about these aspects of yourself as much as possible.
Become curious about yourself to transform and grow.
Observe your:
Story
Emotions
Patterns
Worldview
Triggers
Defense mechanisms
Relationships
Opinions
Addictions
Mind
Journal or ask yourself questions about these aspects of yourself as much as possible.
Thank you for reading my thread.
Please RT the tweet below to help me inspire self-awareness in other people.
If you dig this content, follow @ShadowLady___
Please RT the tweet below to help me inspire self-awareness in other people.
If you dig this content, follow @ShadowLady___
Loading suggestions...