Never, ever get married. Unless you are willing to do these 3 things.
As a human behavior and relationship expert and someone who LOVEs being married, I often tell people to NOT get married. WTF? Why?
Because a long-term partnership might be one of the hardest paths out there. It will confront everything about you and your partner. Your relationship skills will be tested. And all your unresolved childhood trauma will come to the surface.
Something about long-term partnership invites us to face everything unloved and unprocessed in our psychology, neurobiology, and mammalian wiring. It is, at its core, a spiritual path.
However, I think it’s one of the best-kept secrets and most fulfilling aspects of life IF you are willing to do these three things...
1- Learn. Learn about you, learn about them. Never stop learning about yourself and each other in the context of your relationship.
1- Learn. Learn about you, learn about them. Never stop learning about yourself and each other in the context of your relationship.
2- Embrace conflict, adversity, and challenge between the two of you and get very very good at repairing it and working through it 100% of the time.
3- Share leadership and collaborate. Being teammates about everything and sharing the load together is crucial. Be honest about how hard it is to share leadership and get better at it.
If you and your partner (both) are unable or unwilling to do these 3 things consistently forever, you won’t make it. Trust me. You will not make it. And, I’m not talking about staying married and being roommates as “making it.” That’s not success in my opinion.
If you don’t want to share responsibility, share solutions, share leadership, and look directly in the mirror at all your bullshit and baggage, you’re doomed.
Instead, stay single and don’t choose partnership.
Instead, stay single and don’t choose partnership.
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