Great communication is key to success.
Here are 4 rules to improve it:
Here are 4 rules to improve it:
Communication is a fundamental building block of life.
Marshall Rosenberg wrote the pioneering book "Nonviolent Communication."
Here's how you can apply his principles to communicate effectively with those around you:
Marshall Rosenberg wrote the pioneering book "Nonviolent Communication."
Here's how you can apply his principles to communicate effectively with those around you:
Conflicts and misunderstandings often occur due to poor communication.
This leaves people feeling disregarded, unheard, and unloved.
Nonviolent communication plays a key role here.
We communicate compassionately and empathically when we use it:
This leaves people feeling disregarded, unheard, and unloved.
Nonviolent communication plays a key role here.
We communicate compassionately and empathically when we use it:
Nonviolent communication centers on two main questions:
1. What are you feeling?
2. Do you have any unfulfilled needs?
Expressing emotions and needs is difficult.
As you talk, if you have both in the front of your mind, you'll be headed in the right direction.
1. What are you feeling?
2. Do you have any unfulfilled needs?
Expressing emotions and needs is difficult.
As you talk, if you have both in the front of your mind, you'll be headed in the right direction.
There are 4 elements to answering these questions.
1. Observations
2. Feelings
3. Needs
4. Requests
Person A must express their observations, feelings, and needs without blaming.
Person B must receive Person A's observations, feelings, and needs without hearing blame.
1. Observations
2. Feelings
3. Needs
4. Requests
Person A must express their observations, feelings, and needs without blaming.
Person B must receive Person A's observations, feelings, and needs without hearing blame.
1. Observations
Person A must express what they observe (see, hear, remember) that does or does not contribute to their well-being:
"When I (see, hear)..."
Person B must receive what they observe (hear, see, remember) without judgment.
"When you (see, hear)..."
Person A must express what they observe (see, hear, remember) that does or does not contribute to their well-being:
"When I (see, hear)..."
Person B must receive what they observe (hear, see, remember) without judgment.
"When you (see, hear)..."
Regarding observations, Person A needs to express them without blaming or criticizing.
Person B needs to receive them without hearing blame or criticism.
It is difficult to move forward when this step is missed.
Many people get stuck in a circle of blame and never move on.
Person B needs to receive them without hearing blame or criticism.
It is difficult to move forward when this step is missed.
Many people get stuck in a circle of blame and never move on.
2. Feelings
Now it's time to share how you feel about those observations.
This isn't as simple as you might think.
People often think they're expressing a feeling when they're not.
Just because the sentence starts with "I feel..." doesn't mean an emotion is being expressed.
Now it's time to share how you feel about those observations.
This isn't as simple as you might think.
People often think they're expressing a feeling when they're not.
Just because the sentence starts with "I feel..." doesn't mean an emotion is being expressed.
To avoid this, express one of the four basic emotions:
1. Sadness
2. Happiness
3. Fear
4. Anger
Person A expresses how they feel (emotion) about what they observe.
"I feel..."
Person B receives how Person B feels (emotion) about what they observe.
"You feel..."
1. Sadness
2. Happiness
3. Fear
4. Anger
Person A expresses how they feel (emotion) about what they observe.
"I feel..."
Person B receives how Person B feels (emotion) about what they observe.
"You feel..."
3. Needs
Based on how you're feeling, you must express what you need.
To be clear, you're not expressing a preference or a specific action.
Preferences are things that you consider to be optional or possible.
It's your needs that enrich your life, not your tastes.
Based on how you're feeling, you must express what you need.
To be clear, you're not expressing a preference or a specific action.
Preferences are things that you consider to be optional or possible.
It's your needs that enrich your life, not your tastes.
Person A
What I need that causes my feelings:
"...because I need..."
Seek out what will enrich your life.
Person B
What you need to feel at ease is:
"...because you need..."
Empathically receiving that which would most enrich their life.
What I need that causes my feelings:
"...because I need..."
Seek out what will enrich your life.
Person B
What you need to feel at ease is:
"...because you need..."
Empathically receiving that which would most enrich their life.
4. Requests
Talking alone won't bring change.
A clear request needs to be made without demanding anything.
Person A must present the concrete actions they would like taken.
"Would you be willing to...?"
Person B must emphatically receive those requests.
"Would you like...?"
Talking alone won't bring change.
A clear request needs to be made without demanding anything.
Person A must present the concrete actions they would like taken.
"Would you be willing to...?"
Person B must emphatically receive those requests.
"Would you like...?"
Nonviolent communication teaches us that we cannot be responsible for others' feelings.
But we can be responsible for how we choose to react.
Your needs are a precious gift, and by following these steps, you can value them as such and enable others to do the same.
But we can be responsible for how we choose to react.
Your needs are a precious gift, and by following these steps, you can value them as such and enable others to do the same.
That's a wrap!
Follow me @_alexbrogan for more thought-provoking content to help you get better at the game of life.
Follow me @_alexbrogan for more thought-provoking content to help you get better at the game of life.
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