Two questions to repair a relationship - a Thread:
Few couples appreciate the need for ongoing relationship-maintenance. Every day brings with it small challenges - disappointments, frustrations, and irritations - that can come between the most ostensibly committed lovers and subtly wear away at the sincerity of their connection.
These lovers can end up furious without knowing they are so. The first moment there is an inkling that something is wrong is when they look over at their partner one evening over dinner and register that their heart is numb.
These mysterious closures of the heart are not, on closer examination, any such thing. They are the result of slow, silent accumulation of silt in the arteries of love made up of little letdowns that have not been resolved close enough to the time of their genesis.
To prevent the risks, lovers should regularly make room to ask themselves - in a calm spirit of gentle openness and curiosity - two ostensibly simple yet hugely central and effective questions:
What are you angry with me about?
How have I scared you recently?
What are you angry with me about?
How have I scared you recently?
What matter if a lover has a thousand flaws, so long as they allow us to share our bitter disappointment that they have them; how much we can forgive someone who wonβt be defensive when we outline what is less than optimal about life around them.
And what matters isnβt that we never cause an upset but that we should hear a lover out politely when they tell us sweetly we have done so.
We donβt have to dread the mysterious end of relationships so long as we can regularly muster the courage to accept how much we may have angered and frightened those whom we are committed to loving.
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