We often joke that French football is just a sordid sexual psychodrama.
And this week has been no exception.
From porn stars shagging in stadium toilets to FA bosses begging colleagues for threesomes, welcome to another utterly ordinary week in French football...
And this week has been no exception.
From porn stars shagging in stadium toilets to FA bosses begging colleagues for threesomes, welcome to another utterly ordinary week in French football...
Ligue 1 side Nice are investigating after porn stars filmed an x-rated video in the stadium toilets during a recent game.
The clip shows a woman luring a "random" fan to the cubicle for a bonk.
Where could be more romantic than the piss-soaked bogs of the home end?
The clip shows a woman luring a "random" fan to the cubicle for a bonk.
Where could be more romantic than the piss-soaked bogs of the home end?
Everyone's (least) favourite dirty dog Nöel Le Gräet has been up to his old tricks.
The French FA boss is currently under investigation for grabbing junior employees' thighs and sending them filthy texts.
But that hasn't stopped him.
The French FA boss is currently under investigation for grabbing junior employees' thighs and sending them filthy texts.
But that hasn't stopped him.
The latest revelations from Paris?
The 81-year-old invited two female employees out for dinner before proposing they had a threesome.
In case you're wondering, they declined.
The 81-year-old invited two female employees out for dinner before proposing they had a threesome.
In case you're wondering, they declined.
Quizzed about his previous sexting antics by a government investigation, Le Graet insisted he couldn't have sent the pervy messages, since he didn't know how to send a text.
Given his habit of draining two bottles of wine with lunch, he probably couldn't see the screen...
Given his habit of draining two bottles of wine with lunch, he probably couldn't see the screen...
Not to be outdone by their scandal-ridden FA, PSG have delivered some drama of their own.
After stumbling to a 1-0 defeat to Bayern, Kylian Mbappe gave his teammates a bollocking and demanded they "eat well and sleep well".
But it seems Neymar didn't get the memo...
After stumbling to a 1-0 defeat to Bayern, Kylian Mbappe gave his teammates a bollocking and demanded they "eat well and sleep well".
But it seems Neymar didn't get the memo...
Instead of tucking himself up in bed, the Brazilian princeling headed to an all-night poker tournament before hitting McDonald's for 20 McNuggets and a big ol' stack of fries.
Meanwhile, his PSG teammate Sergio Ramos continued to spread the sunshine at the Parc des Princes.
The famously charming defender shoved a photographer who had the audacity to do his job in Sergio's vicinity.
The famously charming defender shoved a photographer who had the audacity to do his job in Sergio's vicinity.
What will next week bring? Will Mbappe march Neymar naked through the streets of Paris as peasants pelt him with rotten veg?
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