COMPATIBILITY
Why a good person may be a bad partner.
Thread.
Why a good person may be a bad partner.
Thread.
A client had called in to say she's broken up with her fiancé. In her words "he doesn't deserve me, and forever is a longtime to force things. I'm young and I'll find someone else"
It was a good place to start from. I knew this was a client that: knows what she wants and wouldn't settle for less. Most times, such people require shorter sessions as we just reiterate what they already know.
However, we'll still have to talk through what had happened, why it's happened, lessons to be learned and whether it's reconciliable or not.
As she stated the problems she had with her man and him with her, they looked less and less of a problem. This were just two good folks that didn't match.
I had no doubt in my mind that they'll go on to have beautiful relationships separately with people that understood them and matched their qualities more; just as I had no doubts they wouldn't work together.
This is what relationship compatibility is all about.
Compatibility is how our qualities compliment each other in such a way that there's an agreement and understanding of partners in a relationship.
Compatibility is how our qualities compliment each other in such a way that there's an agreement and understanding of partners in a relationship.
What this means is that for compatible people there's an alignment in:
Core Values
Character
Sense of humour
Differences
Without which the relationship will struggle to work out.
Core Values
Character
Sense of humour
Differences
Without which the relationship will struggle to work out.
Core Values
Our values refers to our principles and beliefs. The things we consider to be right or wrong.
Our values refers to our principles and beliefs. The things we consider to be right or wrong.
For instance, if one partner thinks gambling is a means of income and the other sees it as a vice the relationship may have constant disagreements unless one person compromises.
Character
A person's character is how they do things and it's usually formed on the basis of their values, nature and nurture.
A person's character is how they do things and it's usually formed on the basis of their values, nature and nurture.
For instance, if one partner is an extrovert and the other is an introvert, if they don't find a common ground, they may struggle with how one person is always not home and ignoring domestic responsibilities.
This could lead to a partner feeling neglected or not carried along; whereas, it's just a difference in preference that another kind of partner would have appreciated.
This could lead to a partner feeling neglected or not carried along; whereas, it's just a difference in preference that another kind of partner would have appreciated.
Sense of humour
As trivial as it may seem, people who find different things amusing will struggle to have an understanding. One partner may feel insecure about the other's jokes while the other thinks they're too uptight.
As trivial as it may seem, people who find different things amusing will struggle to have an understanding. One partner may feel insecure about the other's jokes while the other thinks they're too uptight.
For instance, two partners with the same sense of humour may laugh at a joke about an ex where two other partners may clash cos one feels 'disrespected' you mentioned an ex.
Differences
Compatibility isn't about the similarities alone but how the differences align and compliment each other in a balance of strengths and weaknesses. Here differences are inconsequential to agreement and understanding.
Compatibility isn't about the similarities alone but how the differences align and compliment each other in a balance of strengths and weaknesses. Here differences are inconsequential to agreement and understanding.
Like we've discussed, the gambler and non-gambler, introvert and extrovert, can all work out healthy relationships where there's willingness, sacrifice and compromise.
For instance, the introvert partner can be responsible for all domestic activities while the extrovert takes care of the rest. This agreement, understanding and shared responsibility makes things better for the collective as each strengths compliments the other's weakness.
Summary:
Compatibility is crucial and as the @SchrodingrsBrat said in her space:
"Compatibility is important even to the next generation cos if a child picks up genes from one parent, that doesn't align with the other there's already a brewing dysfunctional family dynamics"
Compatibility is crucial and as the @SchrodingrsBrat said in her space:
"Compatibility is important even to the next generation cos if a child picks up genes from one parent, that doesn't align with the other there's already a brewing dysfunctional family dynamics"
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