sometimes i talk to a person who clearly needs to vent about something but also for various reasons feels the need to hedge everything to be fair, objective, impartial, and i'll say something like "what if you tried being unfair and mean here" which speeds things up a lot
hedging is purely cognitive, it's not how what @DougTataryn calls the emotional brain works at all. emotional language is direct and simple. not "hey so i have a story that..." but just "what a FUCKING asshole, jesus fucking CHRIST, how could he TREAT ME LIKE THAT"
as long as you remember that what you're saying doesn't have to be literally true and doesn't have to be the whole truth, doesn't have to take all the nuances into consideration, that's something you can do later after you've moved the emotional energy, after space opens up
i think a lot of people's fears about getting "too emotional" are specifically about having their awareness collapsed onto their emotions so that they stop being aware of anything else (obligatory @m_ashcroft tag). this is distinct from the emotion itself and you can relax it
yeahhhh
this is the relevant bit of the thread
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