12 things every father must say to his son, over and over:
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1. "I'm proud of you."
Saying this at the right moment can give a boy wings.
Boys who never hear this from their father will always be seeking approval from the wrong people and the wrong places.
Saying this at the right moment can give a boy wings.
Boys who never hear this from their father will always be seeking approval from the wrong people and the wrong places.
2. "Get back up."
A father must let his son fail but be there to encourage him to get back up and try again.
Especially if his son doesn't *want* to get back up.
A father must let his son fail but be there to encourage him to get back up and try again.
Especially if his son doesn't *want* to get back up.
3. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
Every father messes up. Every father gets impatient. Every father has moments of weakness. Every father fails.
If he wants his son to own up to his own mistakes, a father must show him how to own up to his mistakes.
Every father messes up. Every father gets impatient. Every father has moments of weakness. Every father fails.
If he wants his son to own up to his own mistakes, a father must show him how to own up to his mistakes.
4. "I'm disappointed by your actions."
A father must let his son know when he has fallen short, and he must be clear about why.
A father disciplines those he loves.
A father must let his son know when he has fallen short, and he must be clear about why.
A father disciplines those he loves.
5. "I love you."
Say it so often that he is drowning in the words. Couple this with plenty of hugs and physical affection.
A father cannot assume his son knows this truth unless he speaks it out loud. Constantly.
Say it so often that he is drowning in the words. Couple this with plenty of hugs and physical affection.
A father cannot assume his son knows this truth unless he speaks it out loud. Constantly.
6. "You are my son."
A father must lay claim to his son and let the boy know he has a place he belongs.
Many boys feel like they belong nowhere and so they wander and look for alternatives outside the home.
A father must lay claim to his son and let the boy know he has a place he belongs.
Many boys feel like they belong nowhere and so they wander and look for alternatives outside the home.
7. "The world is not fair. The world owes you nothing."
A father must teach his son not to expect handouts and to avoid seeking easy wealth.
Life is supposed to be hard. No whining.
A father must teach his son not to expect handouts and to avoid seeking easy wealth.
Life is supposed to be hard. No whining.
8. "Respect your mother."
A son will eventually outgrow his mother in strength. Before that happens, he must learn to treat her words as a precious garland.
For this to work, a father must add his own strength to back up the mother's words.
A son will eventually outgrow his mother in strength. Before that happens, he must learn to treat her words as a precious garland.
For this to work, a father must add his own strength to back up the mother's words.
9. "Stand with your brothers and sisters."
They will be there when the father is gone. They are, collectively, the legacy the father leaves behind.
A father must teach that a boy's siblings are on the same team. Their successes are his successes, too.
They will be there when the father is gone. They are, collectively, the legacy the father leaves behind.
A father must teach that a boy's siblings are on the same team. Their successes are his successes, too.
10. "You are responsible for your actions. No one else."
No blaming others. No pretending to be the victim. No blaming his emotions.
A father must let his son experience the consequences of his actions, though the father can help him face those consequences like a man.
No blaming others. No pretending to be the victim. No blaming his emotions.
A father must let his son experience the consequences of his actions, though the father can help him face those consequences like a man.
11. "Follow me."
A father must be the first to take the hill. He must be the example. A son will not attempt hard things unless his father is attempting hard things.
A father must be a man his son can follow.
A father must be the first to take the hill. He must be the example. A son will not attempt hard things unless his father is attempting hard things.
A father must be a man his son can follow.
12. "Sometimes a losing battle is worth fighting because it's the right thing to do."
A father must avoid pure pragmatism. He must teach his son that courage is its own reward and virtue is never a waste of time.
A father must avoid pure pragmatism. He must teach his son that courage is its own reward and virtue is never a waste of time.
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