I think a lot of guys just lack the sheer confidence for any of this.
You're beating yourself down already.
"she laughs around guys she is predisposed to like"
That's true, but ignoring the fact that there are a lot of traits women like a lot of guys outright lack.

I say stuff that is legitimately not funny but will make them laugh because of how I say it, my attitude and what I know of her.
I can count on one hand the girls I've never done this with, aka been fully engaged with, and only two of them have been in person.

I had two guys come up to me at a McDs at 4 am 2 weeks ago after I left a bar/club & ask me how I talked to women so naturally.
I said, "don't care" then I joined a homeless guy singing brown eyed girl and the full table nearest us joined in
You have to not care confidently

Charm is just a mixture of calm, extroversion, confidence and ability to bullshit.