30 uncomfortable lessons I’m learning in my 30s
(reminders to myself):
(reminders to myself):
1/ Friends in your 20s won’t all make it to your 30s
Your 20s were about experimenting. Trying new things. Growing out of necessity.
Your 30s are about solidifying. Crystallizing what you know you want out of your life.
And some friends might not want the same things as you.
Your 20s were about experimenting. Trying new things. Growing out of necessity.
Your 30s are about solidifying. Crystallizing what you know you want out of your life.
And some friends might not want the same things as you.
2/ Your definition of success is not universal.
Some people define success as happiness. Family. Connection.
Others define it as money. Status. Achievement.
You don’t have to want the same things others do.
And you shouldn’t judge them for wanting different things than you.
Some people define success as happiness. Family. Connection.
Others define it as money. Status. Achievement.
You don’t have to want the same things others do.
And you shouldn’t judge them for wanting different things than you.
3/ Rich is a spectrum.
• Sick people crave richness of health.
• Lonely people crave richness of love.
• Desperate people crave richness of opportunity.
• Overworked people crave richness of time.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
We all want the things we don’t have.
• Sick people crave richness of health.
• Lonely people crave richness of love.
• Desperate people crave richness of opportunity.
• Overworked people crave richness of time.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
We all want the things we don’t have.
4/ Your chosen family is an opportunity to build the life & relationships you wish you’d had growing up.
Your life partner. Your kids. Your pets. Your close friends.
This is your chance to break old patterns, let go of old wounds, and start again.
Your life partner. Your kids. Your pets. Your close friends.
This is your chance to break old patterns, let go of old wounds, and start again.
5/ People can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves.
The more you grow, the more you will feel gaps in old relationships.
Which means you bear the burden of setting the dynamic, choosing how you want to nurture the relationship.
This responsibility can feel lonely.
The more you grow, the more you will feel gaps in old relationships.
Which means you bear the burden of setting the dynamic, choosing how you want to nurture the relationship.
This responsibility can feel lonely.
6/ Commitment (to anything) changes you.
The misunderstanding is that “success” changes you.
But it's the commitment that has changed your mentality, your focus, your habits, your personality.
And to people without those qualities, your “commitment” is intimidating.
The misunderstanding is that “success” changes you.
But it's the commitment that has changed your mentality, your focus, your habits, your personality.
And to people without those qualities, your “commitment” is intimidating.
7/ Progress has less to do with “pushing” and more to do with letting go.
What’s keeping you from the next level is rarely more of the same things.
It’s less—creating space for new, uncomfortable things.
What’s the famous quote?
“What got you here won’t get you there.”
What’s keeping you from the next level is rarely more of the same things.
It’s less—creating space for new, uncomfortable things.
What’s the famous quote?
“What got you here won’t get you there.”
8/ The first $100k is way harder than the first $1M.
It took me 7 years to make my first $100k.
And it took 24 months to go from $100k to $1M.
(Said differently: it took almost an entire decade to make my first million.)
Patience.
It took me 7 years to make my first $100k.
And it took 24 months to go from $100k to $1M.
(Said differently: it took almost an entire decade to make my first million.)
Patience.
9/ Anything you’re afraid to do is worth doing.
The older you get, the more comfortable you get.
The less inclined you are to “try new things.”
Continued growth becomes a choice—and the compass is (almost always) fear.
The older you get, the more comfortable you get.
The less inclined you are to “try new things.”
Continued growth becomes a choice—and the compass is (almost always) fear.
10/ In an AI-first world, hard work is no longer a noble trait.
This will be a hard pill to swallow for older generations who take great pride in “effort.”
Letting go of this faulty belief & identity is crucial to remain a valuable, relevant worker in society.
This will be a hard pill to swallow for older generations who take great pride in “effort.”
Letting go of this faulty belief & identity is crucial to remain a valuable, relevant worker in society.
11/ Nothing is gained by underestimating young talent.
The ego’s defense against irrelevancy is disregard.
But all this does is prevent opportunities to grow, and more importantly, to nurture.
You want to befriend future generations, not dismiss them.
The ego’s defense against irrelevancy is disregard.
But all this does is prevent opportunities to grow, and more importantly, to nurture.
You want to befriend future generations, not dismiss them.
12/ Having a “chip on your shoulder” is an immature, dirty energy source.
Works wonders if you can harness it in your teens & 20s.
But becomes toxic if you are still being driven by old, unacknowledged insecurities.
You must swap engines & find a new, clean energy source.
Works wonders if you can harness it in your teens & 20s.
But becomes toxic if you are still being driven by old, unacknowledged insecurities.
You must swap engines & find a new, clean energy source.
13/ Materialism is only for you.
So buy things you appreciate & want, not things other people will find cool).
Expensive things impress poor people, but you don’t want to impress them.
And expensive things don’t impress other wealthy people (because they have the same things)
So buy things you appreciate & want, not things other people will find cool).
Expensive things impress poor people, but you don’t want to impress them.
And expensive things don’t impress other wealthy people (because they have the same things)
14/ Travel expands your sense of what is “possible.”
The same way people can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves, the same is true in terms of travel.
It’s hard to connect in the same ways with people who have not, or cannot, expand their awareness of the world.
The same way people can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves, the same is true in terms of travel.
It’s hard to connect in the same ways with people who have not, or cannot, expand their awareness of the world.
15/ My biggest fear getting married is recognizing how deeply I love my partner.
There is nothing more terrifying than taking the final step of opening myself up—and thinking about the day one of us doesn’t have the other.
This is the real lesson love teaches us.
There is nothing more terrifying than taking the final step of opening myself up—and thinking about the day one of us doesn’t have the other.
This is the real lesson love teaches us.
16/ In a distracted world, focus & clarity of thought is an unfair advantage.
The NPC state of the world has never been higher.
The majority of people don’t want to think.
Which means Creators (people who create net-new thinking) capture 90% of the upside.
The NPC state of the world has never been higher.
The majority of people don’t want to think.
Which means Creators (people who create net-new thinking) capture 90% of the upside.
17/ Attention is a power law.
In almost every aspect of life, less is more.
But this is especially true in business, which is a winner-takes-all game.
And the difference between someone in the top 1% and the top 0.01% is exponential.
In almost every aspect of life, less is more.
But this is especially true in business, which is a winner-takes-all game.
And the difference between someone in the top 1% and the top 0.01% is exponential.
18/ You can’t change what you aren’t aware of.
This is arguably the biggest benefit of therapy:
Becoming conscious of things you aren’t currently conscious of.
Because until you “wake up,” it’s impossible to change.
This is arguably the biggest benefit of therapy:
Becoming conscious of things you aren’t currently conscious of.
Because until you “wake up,” it’s impossible to change.
19/ The only person in your life you can change is yourself.
You can’t change your mom or dad.
You can’t change your siblings.
You can’t change your friends, co-workers, or mentors.
So stop trying.
You’ll get a better much return on energy invested in yourself.
You can’t change your mom or dad.
You can’t change your siblings.
You can’t change your friends, co-workers, or mentors.
So stop trying.
You’ll get a better much return on energy invested in yourself.
20/ Achievements are lagging indicators of good habits.
Too many people want to wait to “start” until they have something validating their direction.
But as the Rumi quote goes: “Walk, and the path will appear.”
Too many people want to wait to “start” until they have something validating their direction.
But as the Rumi quote goes: “Walk, and the path will appear.”
21/ The best ideas always come back around.
I have over 3,000 "ideas" for books I want to write, articles, Twitter Threads, products, businesses, etc., in my Notes.
But I've noticed the best ones always stay in my brain.
And the rest weren't as good as I thought they were.
I have over 3,000 "ideas" for books I want to write, articles, Twitter Threads, products, businesses, etc., in my Notes.
But I've noticed the best ones always stay in my brain.
And the rest weren't as good as I thought they were.
22/ People only change when the discomfort of not-changing exceeds their current comfort levels.
This is why so many people, once they get settled in a career, struggle so much to change directions.
And why people who have "nothing to lose" tend to be the ones who succeed.
This is why so many people, once they get settled in a career, struggle so much to change directions.
And why people who have "nothing to lose" tend to be the ones who succeed.
23/ "I need more time" is a myth.
Tomorrow doesn't exist.
Doing it today is going to be the same as doing it tomorrow.
So every time you kick the can, you aren't actually making progress.
You're just postponing the inevitable.
Tomorrow doesn't exist.
Doing it today is going to be the same as doing it tomorrow.
So every time you kick the can, you aren't actually making progress.
You're just postponing the inevitable.
24/ "A" decision is better than "no" decision.
Action is better than inaction.
A wrong choice is better than no choice.
Most people who make the most progress, in anything, are just relentless action-takers.
Not "professional decision-makers."
Action is better than inaction.
A wrong choice is better than no choice.
Most people who make the most progress, in anything, are just relentless action-takers.
Not "professional decision-makers."
25/ Studying other people's work doesn't teach you nearly as much as practicing your own.
Reading doesn't make you a great writer.
Watching movies doesn't make you a great filmmaker.
Eating doesn't make you a great chef.
Consumption can increase "taste," but not proficiency.
Reading doesn't make you a great writer.
Watching movies doesn't make you a great filmmaker.
Eating doesn't make you a great chef.
Consumption can increase "taste," but not proficiency.
26/ Life is long, and life is short.
People underestimate how much they can do in 5 years.
And people overestimate how much they can do in 5 months.
The key is to be patiently impatient.
People underestimate how much they can do in 5 years.
And people overestimate how much they can do in 5 months.
The key is to be patiently impatient.
27/ No achievement is as gratifying as the road it takes to get there.
It's not "the end" you value/remember.
It's the journey. The friendships. The obstacles. The small wins & necessary improvements.
Treasure the process.
It's gone before you know it.
It's not "the end" you value/remember.
It's the journey. The friendships. The obstacles. The small wins & necessary improvements.
Treasure the process.
It's gone before you know it.
28/ You are a magnet.
The people in your life, you attract.
The opportunities in your life, you attract.
The drama in your life, you attract.
Don't like your life?
Change your magnetic field.
The people in your life, you attract.
The opportunities in your life, you attract.
The drama in your life, you attract.
Don't like your life?
Change your magnetic field.
29/ Fewer things. Done well. Know why.
The older you get, this mantra becomes more and more important.
It's not about doing "everything."
It's about doing fewer things. To the best of your ability. And knowing (within yourself) why you've chosen these as your focus.
The older you get, this mantra becomes more and more important.
It's not about doing "everything."
It's about doing fewer things. To the best of your ability. And knowing (within yourself) why you've chosen these as your focus.
30/ Your 30s are the first test of fighting to hold onto your imagination.
"I'm getting so old" is what people say, as soon as they turn 30.
But this mentality accelerates age & the descent of creative thinking.
Your body might be getting older.
But your soul doesn't have to.
"I'm getting so old" is what people say, as soon as they turn 30.
But this mentality accelerates age & the descent of creative thinking.
Your body might be getting older.
But your soul doesn't have to.
Building a daily writing habit online changed my life:
• Defeated Writer's Block forever
• Built an audience of readers
• Turned my writing into products & businesses
Now, every week I share frameworks for writing on the internet.
Subscribe here:
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• Defeated Writer's Block forever
• Built an audience of readers
• Turned my writing into products & businesses
Now, every week I share frameworks for writing on the internet.
Subscribe here:
digitalwritingcompass.com
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