Let’s talk about “Closure” today.
Have you noticed that it’s people who have been treated badly that often want closure? For some reason, you want them to “shalaye” as to why you deserved to be treated badly. Hence, you base almost your entire recovery on “closure.”
Have you noticed that it’s people who have been treated badly that often want closure? For some reason, you want them to “shalaye” as to why you deserved to be treated badly. Hence, you base almost your entire recovery on “closure.”
Here’s why people are obsessed with closure: We seek for answers as to the cause of our loss. And to resolve the painful feelings it has created, we need the person who caused it to fit the puzzles we’ve created in our minds.
So we wait on them or find them to fit the puzzle.
So we wait on them or find them to fit the puzzle.
I’ve heard many people say, “It’s not as if I’m waiting around for them to give me answers, I’ve moved on, I just really need to know why they did what they did.”
But you are waiting around, keeping that puzzle open, waiting for the right person to fit it to YOUR satisfaction.
But you are waiting around, keeping that puzzle open, waiting for the right person to fit it to YOUR satisfaction.
In one part, I agree with the general consensus: closure makes us FEEL better, only when it fits the puzzle to our satisfaction.
However, when it doesn't, we draw down on the pain we've been holding on to and relive the past once again.
So why not just leave the puzzle alone?
However, when it doesn't, we draw down on the pain we've been holding on to and relive the past once again.
So why not just leave the puzzle alone?
People who have TRULY moved on have dealt with their past and learnt from it, forgiven even without being asked to and accepted that they’re responsible for how they feel. So they come to the conclusion that they don’t need closure from someone else.
They are enough.
They are enough.
This is the closure I seek: that at the right time, which is at the time you don’t like me anymore, don’t want to be my friend anymore or date me,tell me at that time. At the time you’re treating me badly, gossiping about me and generally making me doubt my position in your life,
that’s when I NEED the explanation.
Any other time after that, especially when you ghosted me or I confronted you but got nothing tangible then it is up to me to give MYSELF closure because I’m an adult, and uncertainties will forever be a part of life.
Any other time after that, especially when you ghosted me or I confronted you but got nothing tangible then it is up to me to give MYSELF closure because I’m an adult, and uncertainties will forever be a part of life.
Dear Adult,
It is important to remember that you are in charge of obtaining closure – you can’t really get others to do it for you.
Allow yourself to feel,write them down clearly, converse with the other person in your head and be HONEST with yourself about the role you played.
It is important to remember that you are in charge of obtaining closure – you can’t really get others to do it for you.
Allow yourself to feel,write them down clearly, converse with the other person in your head and be HONEST with yourself about the role you played.
Sometimes, things go wrong, although it does not feel fair, and it is very hurtful, life goes on. If we spent precious time seeking the “why” for all the things done to us that we’re sure we didn’t deserve, what happens to our emotional stability, our genuine peace of mind?
We must be TRULY happy again and in doing so we can’t afford to drag the painful past along with us.
#DANG
#DANG
Loading suggestions...