Common Mistakes Scholarship Enthusiasts Make
Dear Scholarship Enthusiasts,
Having reviewed 200+ scholarship essays in the past two years, these are common scholarship mistakes I have observed and which you must avoid.
(1.) Answering questions from the position of personal loss
Let me put this out there straight away, there is no point in making your life look like a TRAGEDY. This is one point I have noticed that many scholarship enthusiasts do. Stop writing from the position of grief when it is not necessary and unrelated to the point of your essay. If I can detect that your story is not genuine enough or needed, or that you are merely forcing it in, the scholarship committee can detect it too. While I agree that emotions move humans to react or take actions, only use it when it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to be included in your response. Don't force it in. Let the ideas in your head flow naturally and don't write just to write. Write with purpose and clarity. Write with ideas necessary and related to the question. Your choice of the program or the reasons for applying for the scholarship don't have to be motivated by the loss of a family relative. Issues within your community can motivate you, a national problem in the country can be your motivation, inflation around the world can be your source of motivation, conflicts and wars between countries (Russia vs Ukraine, Israel vs Palestine) and the fallout from them can motivate you, and a highly disturbing social number can motivate you. The list is endless. In fact, your source of motivation doesn't necessarily have to be something closer to you or something you have experienced. What is most important is how you can justify the reasons for choosing the issue you are discussing and how passing through the graduate study or scholarship will help you contribute solutions to solving that problem.
Here is the opening paragraph of my personal statement to McGill during my scholarship journey: “Can Nigeria achieve a society where all young girls will have access to quality education? Pursuing this goal where access to quality education for many girls who are out-of-school and facing inhumane treatments daily has been the motivation for my educational and professional career.” You will see that I didn't make it about myself, I only chose a national issue affecting Nigeria and justified why it is important to me.
(2.) Vagueness: lack of specificity
Another important point I have observed is that many write grandstandingly. Making claims too general with no facts or data to back them up. For instance, when you say, “Nigeria is facing a lot of environmentally related problems…”. What problems? Who made the claim? Before setting out to write your essays, first of us research thoroughly one specific issue within your field or within the program you intend to study and fully understand the problem. Also ensure such an issue is at least, related to your previous course, your previous experiences or your future ambitions. Collect facts and data on that issue and note all necessary sources. For example, I can rewrite the above sample this way, “One environmentally related problem facing Nigeria is the excessive flooding the country experienced in 2022”. This is more specific and direct than the first one. I can rewrite this example alone in several ways using data, and facts and mentioning sources of my claim and the statement would avoid vagueness.
(3.) Uncoordinated thoughts
One of the most difficult endeavours to undertake, I agree, is writing scholarship essays. It can be challenging to find ways to connect your thoughts, choosing necessary but important points of your life to include (and what not to include) and blending all of them. In fact, applying for scholarships is a scholarship on its own (if you know what I mean😂). However, one sure way to glide through this terrain is by giving your head the freedom to do the work. What do I mean?
Dear Scholarship Enthusiasts,
Having reviewed 200+ scholarship essays in the past two years, these are common scholarship mistakes I have observed and which you must avoid.
(1.) Answering questions from the position of personal loss
Let me put this out there straight away, there is no point in making your life look like a TRAGEDY. This is one point I have noticed that many scholarship enthusiasts do. Stop writing from the position of grief when it is not necessary and unrelated to the point of your essay. If I can detect that your story is not genuine enough or needed, or that you are merely forcing it in, the scholarship committee can detect it too. While I agree that emotions move humans to react or take actions, only use it when it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to be included in your response. Don't force it in. Let the ideas in your head flow naturally and don't write just to write. Write with purpose and clarity. Write with ideas necessary and related to the question. Your choice of the program or the reasons for applying for the scholarship don't have to be motivated by the loss of a family relative. Issues within your community can motivate you, a national problem in the country can be your motivation, inflation around the world can be your source of motivation, conflicts and wars between countries (Russia vs Ukraine, Israel vs Palestine) and the fallout from them can motivate you, and a highly disturbing social number can motivate you. The list is endless. In fact, your source of motivation doesn't necessarily have to be something closer to you or something you have experienced. What is most important is how you can justify the reasons for choosing the issue you are discussing and how passing through the graduate study or scholarship will help you contribute solutions to solving that problem.
Here is the opening paragraph of my personal statement to McGill during my scholarship journey: “Can Nigeria achieve a society where all young girls will have access to quality education? Pursuing this goal where access to quality education for many girls who are out-of-school and facing inhumane treatments daily has been the motivation for my educational and professional career.” You will see that I didn't make it about myself, I only chose a national issue affecting Nigeria and justified why it is important to me.
(2.) Vagueness: lack of specificity
Another important point I have observed is that many write grandstandingly. Making claims too general with no facts or data to back them up. For instance, when you say, “Nigeria is facing a lot of environmentally related problems…”. What problems? Who made the claim? Before setting out to write your essays, first of us research thoroughly one specific issue within your field or within the program you intend to study and fully understand the problem. Also ensure such an issue is at least, related to your previous course, your previous experiences or your future ambitions. Collect facts and data on that issue and note all necessary sources. For example, I can rewrite the above sample this way, “One environmentally related problem facing Nigeria is the excessive flooding the country experienced in 2022”. This is more specific and direct than the first one. I can rewrite this example alone in several ways using data, and facts and mentioning sources of my claim and the statement would avoid vagueness.
(3.) Uncoordinated thoughts
One of the most difficult endeavours to undertake, I agree, is writing scholarship essays. It can be challenging to find ways to connect your thoughts, choosing necessary but important points of your life to include (and what not to include) and blending all of them. In fact, applying for scholarships is a scholarship on its own (if you know what I mean😂). However, one sure way to glide through this terrain is by giving your head the freedom to do the work. What do I mean?
Let me use myself as an example when I have an essay to write, I usually finish the essay in my head before writing. Meaning, that I might take a month to conceptualize the points I want to include in my head, I will develop the structure in my head, and do the arrangement (flow of ideas and paragraphs in my head) before I write at all. Sometimes, I do this organizing in my head for weeks for an essay I will write within thirty minutes. Advantage: this simple practice has helped me eliminate unnecessary elements to focus on relevant ones when I start writing.
I have noticed that a lot of scholarship enthusiasts know what they want to write, they have the ideas but lack how to put them together. You may want to use the above strategy to organize your thoughts before writing. Or, simply find whatever works for you. Final point here. Always organize thoughts into paragraphs. This is a golden rule you will never get wrong. It never fails and always puts related ideas into the same paragraph. For me, I always stick to four paragraphs. I love four paragraphs😂. This doesn't mean you should use four paragraphs, choose what works for you. But the most important point to take away: understand the key, necessary ideas you want to write about, organize related ones together and choose how they appear in different paragraphs to create that natural flow.
(4.) Lack of data (and source)
I have hinted at this point in my point 2 above but let me expand it a little further. Let me ask you, as a potential graduate scholar, how do you feel that throughout your essay, there is no single fact-checked data mentioned? Or worse case, there is even no single authority you are mentioning to validate the intensity of the problem motivating you? What do you think that says about your competency as a scholar or academic? Well, you know the answer. So, before you write that essay, get those numbers and get those sources written. What are authorities (individuals, organizations, corporations, government agencies, etc) saying about the issues? Know them, use them, and reference them. Using these numbers shows how much you understand the industry and that you have done your research and due diligence. It shows readiness, research skills, and competency. BUT. Avoid the ‘According to Abraham Lincoln’, and ‘Karl Marx’ say kind of statements where you quote verbatim. Learn to paraphrase whatever you are quoting. You can say for instance, ‘In its last report, UNICEF reported that the number of out-of-school children is... blablabla’.
Got it?
Warning: Does this rule apply to all kinds of scholarship questions? Of course not but I am sure you know what sorts of questions it applies to.
(5.) The latest danger: ChatGPT
I have noticed and heard from friends too, scholarship enthusiasts using ChatGPT to draft essays. Let me tell you straight away. I know when I review essays and the scholarship committee knows too essays generated with an AI tool. So, why ruin your chances with an AI tool on a simple task you can do without the tool? Imagine if the AI is not available, won't you write your essays? Remember thousands that have walked the path you are about to walk through wrote their essays even when there was no internet. When I wrote my essays between 2015 and early 2021, there was no ChatGPT and I still did an excellent job so also many scholars in my time and after me. So, if you can, avoid ChatGPT by all means, if you must use it at all, use it only for research purposes and not for writing your essays.
I have noticed that a lot of scholarship enthusiasts know what they want to write, they have the ideas but lack how to put them together. You may want to use the above strategy to organize your thoughts before writing. Or, simply find whatever works for you. Final point here. Always organize thoughts into paragraphs. This is a golden rule you will never get wrong. It never fails and always puts related ideas into the same paragraph. For me, I always stick to four paragraphs. I love four paragraphs😂. This doesn't mean you should use four paragraphs, choose what works for you. But the most important point to take away: understand the key, necessary ideas you want to write about, organize related ones together and choose how they appear in different paragraphs to create that natural flow.
(4.) Lack of data (and source)
I have hinted at this point in my point 2 above but let me expand it a little further. Let me ask you, as a potential graduate scholar, how do you feel that throughout your essay, there is no single fact-checked data mentioned? Or worse case, there is even no single authority you are mentioning to validate the intensity of the problem motivating you? What do you think that says about your competency as a scholar or academic? Well, you know the answer. So, before you write that essay, get those numbers and get those sources written. What are authorities (individuals, organizations, corporations, government agencies, etc) saying about the issues? Know them, use them, and reference them. Using these numbers shows how much you understand the industry and that you have done your research and due diligence. It shows readiness, research skills, and competency. BUT. Avoid the ‘According to Abraham Lincoln’, and ‘Karl Marx’ say kind of statements where you quote verbatim. Learn to paraphrase whatever you are quoting. You can say for instance, ‘In its last report, UNICEF reported that the number of out-of-school children is... blablabla’.
Got it?
Warning: Does this rule apply to all kinds of scholarship questions? Of course not but I am sure you know what sorts of questions it applies to.
(5.) The latest danger: ChatGPT
I have noticed and heard from friends too, scholarship enthusiasts using ChatGPT to draft essays. Let me tell you straight away. I know when I review essays and the scholarship committee knows too essays generated with an AI tool. So, why ruin your chances with an AI tool on a simple task you can do without the tool? Imagine if the AI is not available, won't you write your essays? Remember thousands that have walked the path you are about to walk through wrote their essays even when there was no internet. When I wrote my essays between 2015 and early 2021, there was no ChatGPT and I still did an excellent job so also many scholars in my time and after me. So, if you can, avoid ChatGPT by all means, if you must use it at all, use it only for research purposes and not for writing your essays.
Loading suggestions...