If you act like her servant don’t be surprised if she acts like your boss. Stop pandering to her.

A young man asked me, “How do you draw the line between chivalry and being a servant?”
Here’s what I said:
“Don’t try to do everything at once especially when you don’t even know each other yet. It’s performative.
Do the regular polite things: walk on the dangerous side of the street, open doors, pull out her chair — this needs to be done confidently like you’re leading her and helping her know where to sit. You’re going to take the seat with the best view of the territory.
So don’t waffle or it’ll look like you’re pulling out a chair for yourself. Again this is done for your sake as much as it is for hers.
You’re not asking her where she wants to sit, you’re placing her where you need her to sit.
See the difference?
Overall, don’t just go all out like a servant, you’re not a queen’s attendant. You treat her as a queen to your king status.
Don’t put her napkin in her lap. Don’t cut up and serve her food. This is infantilizing.
Be natural, be confident.
And don’t forget to focus on YOU being comfortable first and foremost.
Chivalry is politeness and manners. Treating a lady like a lady, not a child.
But it’s not about forgetting about your own needs and only pandering to her.
You lead the interaction, you treat her like a lady and have FUN! Don’t hyper fixate on performing to impress her.”