Most marriages either fail or are miserable.
I’ve been with my wife for 13 years.
Here are 13 ways to THRIVE in your marriage:
I’ve been with my wife for 13 years.
Here are 13 ways to THRIVE in your marriage:
1) Never say never
“You NEVER do the dishes.”
Speaking in absolutes is typically a lie.
It’s also a direct path to a much bigger fight.
“Yeah well YOU NEVER pick up after yourself”
Keep “Never” out of your exchanges especially when emotions are involved.
“You NEVER do the dishes.”
Speaking in absolutes is typically a lie.
It’s also a direct path to a much bigger fight.
“Yeah well YOU NEVER pick up after yourself”
Keep “Never” out of your exchanges especially when emotions are involved.
2) Never say “Always”
Similarly to “Never,” saying “Always” is going to escalate any situation.
“You ALWAYS do this”
Again, absolutes are just not true and WILL cause bigger problems.
Similarly to “Never,” saying “Always” is going to escalate any situation.
“You ALWAYS do this”
Again, absolutes are just not true and WILL cause bigger problems.
3) Don’t keep score
“This is the 3rd time you’ve done this!”
“I did the laundry last week”
You will both screw up and you will both chip in. You won’t notice everything they do for you and they won’t see how hard you work.
Keeping score leads to resentment.
“This is the 3rd time you’ve done this!”
“I did the laundry last week”
You will both screw up and you will both chip in. You won’t notice everything they do for you and they won’t see how hard you work.
Keeping score leads to resentment.
4) Never Stop Dating
Date-Engage-Marry
This is NOT the continuum. If it is, then add “divorce” to the end.
Continue to chase and date your spouse long after you are married.
Mix it up:
-Cook together
-Dinner
-Hike
-Watch a sunset
Keep things fun and date in various ways.
Date-Engage-Marry
This is NOT the continuum. If it is, then add “divorce” to the end.
Continue to chase and date your spouse long after you are married.
Mix it up:
-Cook together
-Dinner
-Hike
-Watch a sunset
Keep things fun and date in various ways.
5) Agree to Disagree
You are 2 people in 1 relationship.
It’s unrealistic to expect to see everything the same way. When opinions clash, talk it out.
Listen without rebuttal and find common ground to HEAR them.
Sometimes you just respect one another’s opinion and move on.
You are 2 people in 1 relationship.
It’s unrealistic to expect to see everything the same way. When opinions clash, talk it out.
Listen without rebuttal and find common ground to HEAR them.
Sometimes you just respect one another’s opinion and move on.
6) Know their Love Language
-Quality Time
-Acts of Service
-Words of Affirmation
-Physical Touch
-Receiving Gifts
Knowing which is most important to your spouse will dictate their needs.
You may prefer one but your spouse has their own language.
Learn it.
-Quality Time
-Acts of Service
-Words of Affirmation
-Physical Touch
-Receiving Gifts
Knowing which is most important to your spouse will dictate their needs.
You may prefer one but your spouse has their own language.
Learn it.
7) Don’t Argue in Public
Arguments happen but NOT in public.
It’s embarrassing, uncomfortable for others, and unproductive to your relationship.
You will likely argue about it again privately, so put your pride away and talk it through when you’ve had a moment to calm down.
Arguments happen but NOT in public.
It’s embarrassing, uncomfortable for others, and unproductive to your relationship.
You will likely argue about it again privately, so put your pride away and talk it through when you’ve had a moment to calm down.
8) No TV in the bedroom
Your bed is for 2 things. Television is not one of them.
Keep boundaries with technology and your relationship.
Watching together is great, but doing it in bed will limit intimacy, deep conversation and sleep quality.
Create your own entertainment.
Your bed is for 2 things. Television is not one of them.
Keep boundaries with technology and your relationship.
Watching together is great, but doing it in bed will limit intimacy, deep conversation and sleep quality.
Create your own entertainment.
9) Fill Your Own Cup
Doing activities together is important, but you need alone time.
This provides:
-Space to independently grow
-Room to appreciate each other
-Time for friends and hobbies
Building in time for yourself will provide you the energy to pour into your spouse.
Doing activities together is important, but you need alone time.
This provides:
-Space to independently grow
-Room to appreciate each other
-Time for friends and hobbies
Building in time for yourself will provide you the energy to pour into your spouse.
10) Trust
Trust is more than just being faithful.
Your partner must KNOW you have their back and vice versa. This includes financially, emotionally, and physically.
Support their dreams, pick them up after they fail. Be someone they can always depend on.
Trust is earned.
Trust is more than just being faithful.
Your partner must KNOW you have their back and vice versa. This includes financially, emotionally, and physically.
Support their dreams, pick them up after they fail. Be someone they can always depend on.
Trust is earned.
11) Apologize
Apologies don’t mean: “You we’re right, I was wrong.”
You could have been right but still acted out of emotion during the argument. When you’ve slipped up, big or small, admit it.
Putting your pride aside with an apology is a great way to deescalate any fight.
Apologies don’t mean: “You we’re right, I was wrong.”
You could have been right but still acted out of emotion during the argument. When you’ve slipped up, big or small, admit it.
Putting your pride aside with an apology is a great way to deescalate any fight.
12) Don’t complain
Complaining without change is a waste of energy.
Complaining to your spouse is boring. You’re giving up the power to fix a problem to whoever you’re complaining about.
Complaining ABOUT your spouse is even worse. This is what children do, not married adults.
Complaining without change is a waste of energy.
Complaining to your spouse is boring. You’re giving up the power to fix a problem to whoever you’re complaining about.
Complaining ABOUT your spouse is even worse. This is what children do, not married adults.
13) Ask for advice
Take advice from the happily married. They’ve proven they have a system that works (for them).
Ask for tips you can trial in your own marriage from those with a marriage you desire.
Don’t wait for when your marriage is on the rocks to seek change.
Take advice from the happily married. They’ve proven they have a system that works (for them).
Ask for tips you can trial in your own marriage from those with a marriage you desire.
Don’t wait for when your marriage is on the rocks to seek change.
Thank you for reading this thread!
My brother @chrisboettcher9 and I have helped hundreds of men transform their lives through health and habits.
If you are ready to make a change in your life, grab our free guide below:
thoughtful-crafter-258.ck.page
My brother @chrisboettcher9 and I have helped hundreds of men transform their lives through health and habits.
If you are ready to make a change in your life, grab our free guide below:
thoughtful-crafter-258.ck.page
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