On Approval Seeking
Needing approval from the tribe is a female trait.
No man should need to check with everyone around him to make sure what he thinks or wants to do is ok with them.
We are not about conformity or acceptance or inclusion.
We are about brilliance, and brilliance carves its own path.
This does not preclude cooperation.
If you are a man with dependents, this does not mean not considering them when decision making.
It does not mean you should be closed to reason, wisdom or good sense.
It means you should not approval seek and always do what you believe is best.
If a man does not self-legislate, if he allows the tribe to bully him into conformity, to do as they please and as they say, whether that is right + helpful or wrong + selfish, how can he ever look himself in the mirror + respect what's looking back.
Where is the dignity in that?
Approval seeking, attention seeking, consensus seeking, validation seeking - needing the support of the group because you're not capable of true autonomous independence - these are female traits.
You are not female.
You have no need for such things. You are above such things.
Forge alliances, be diplomatic, and pick your battles wisely.
Seek counsel from wiser and more experienced men. Learn from their mistakes.
Consider your surroundings. Do not be consumed by foolish arrogance.
Evaluate all things.
But do not be bullied. Defy consensus if you must.
The true man takes risks, and taking risks takes courage.
And there is no risk in acceptance, in doing what everyone else is doing - and therefore there can be no brilliance, only mediocrity, and monotonous imitation.
So what do you want more, to be accepted or to be brilliant?
Courage is a masculine virtue, a bedrock in the tale of every Hero - do you see yourself as a hero, or a man with potential for heroism?
Do you think you can be a man among men, a great man? Or do u see yourself as regular, living vicariously through the tales of men that risked?
Needing approval from the tribe is a female trait.
No man should need to check with everyone around him to make sure what he thinks or wants to do is ok with them.
We are not about conformity or acceptance or inclusion.
We are about brilliance, and brilliance carves its own path.
This does not preclude cooperation.
If you are a man with dependents, this does not mean not considering them when decision making.
It does not mean you should be closed to reason, wisdom or good sense.
It means you should not approval seek and always do what you believe is best.
If a man does not self-legislate, if he allows the tribe to bully him into conformity, to do as they please and as they say, whether that is right + helpful or wrong + selfish, how can he ever look himself in the mirror + respect what's looking back.
Where is the dignity in that?
Approval seeking, attention seeking, consensus seeking, validation seeking - needing the support of the group because you're not capable of true autonomous independence - these are female traits.
You are not female.
You have no need for such things. You are above such things.
Forge alliances, be diplomatic, and pick your battles wisely.
Seek counsel from wiser and more experienced men. Learn from their mistakes.
Consider your surroundings. Do not be consumed by foolish arrogance.
Evaluate all things.
But do not be bullied. Defy consensus if you must.
The true man takes risks, and taking risks takes courage.
And there is no risk in acceptance, in doing what everyone else is doing - and therefore there can be no brilliance, only mediocrity, and monotonous imitation.
So what do you want more, to be accepted or to be brilliant?
Courage is a masculine virtue, a bedrock in the tale of every Hero - do you see yourself as a hero, or a man with potential for heroism?
Do you think you can be a man among men, a great man? Or do u see yourself as regular, living vicariously through the tales of men that risked?
NB: This essay is derived from a thread that was first published by Illimitable Men on 6 October 2022.
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