🧵i tweeted this a few months ago and got ✨dragged✨but the real question i was asking is: where do we hear about the pain and inner lives of men?
i asked a male friend this question and he replied, "no one wants to hear about men's inner lives." /1
i asked a male friend this question and he replied, "no one wants to hear about men's inner lives." /1
this response intrigued me and i contemplated it for a long time. do i *want* to know about the inner lives of men?
and then i picked up this book. and holy shit, y'all. /2
and then i picked up this book. and holy shit, y'all. /2
"the unhappiness of men in relationships, the grief men feel about the failure of love, often goes unnoticed in our society precisely because patriarchal culture really does not care if men are unhappy."
/3
/3
my question was, "what do men scream at the top of their lungs in their car when they're sad? do they have anything to sing?"
bell hooks says, "the reality is that men are hurting, and the whole culture responds to them by saying: 'please do not tell us what you feel.'" /4
bell hooks says, "the reality is that men are hurting, and the whole culture responds to them by saying: 'please do not tell us what you feel.'" /4
i was thinking about being a teenage girl and feeling the camaraderie in being so sad over some boy hurting my feelings, knowing that this was accepted as normal and part of girlhood.
"there is no emotional outlet for the grief of the disappointed teenage boy." /5
"there is no emotional outlet for the grief of the disappointed teenage boy." /5
i was thinking about angry young men who feel isolated and rejected and how incels have turned into one of the last groups of people that are acceptable to hate.
but we are all deeply uncomfortable with male sadness and grief. we don't want to know about their inner lives. /6
but we are all deeply uncomfortable with male sadness and grief. we don't want to know about their inner lives. /6
the patriarchy demands that men be disconnected from each other and disconnected from themselves.
and, as silly of an example as it seems, it's why i think it's so healing when women gather and sing songs that reflect their inner longings and pain. it's the connection. /7
and, as silly of an example as it seems, it's why i think it's so healing when women gather and sing songs that reflect their inner longings and pain. it's the connection. /7
and it's why i think men need that.
and men deserve that connection to each other. and to themselves.
and we are going to continue to have this problem of male anger as long as we live in a patriarchal culture that tells men they aren't allowed to feel pain and grief. /8
and men deserve that connection to each other. and to themselves.
and we are going to continue to have this problem of male anger as long as we live in a patriarchal culture that tells men they aren't allowed to feel pain and grief. /8
ok how is this happening again when i quoted BELL HOOKS ffs
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