pattern People Project Coaching Literature Personal Development Self-help
Milan K Mohapatra
Milan K Mohapatra

@_milankm

9 tweets 6 reads Jun 21, 2021
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I read “The coaching habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier. Loved the book. (@boxofcrayons)
TLDR; Avoid being an advice monster or rescuer 😊
Michael says there are 7 questions that you need to ask the person seeking guidance to develop your right #coaching habit.
Thread🧵
1/7 Kickstarter question – What’s on your mind?
•Give them the autonomy to share what’s important to them. (Remember FB’s status question)
•Categorize issues either into “project”, “people” or “pattern”.
•Move away from coaching for just "performances" to "development”.
2/7 AWE question – And what else?
•First answer is never the best answer. Keep probing
•This helps you pause even more before activating your advice monster
•Stop offering advice hidden in Qns like “Did you consider..?” or “have you thought of..?”. Stick to “And what else?”
3/7 Focus question – What’s the real challenge for you?
•Focus on the right problem to solve
•Make it personal by adding “for you”-Proven scientifically to generate better insights
•Start with what-Why means “what the hell you did”. Avoid. Ask “What options did you explore?”
4/7 Foundation question – What do you want?
•Get to the 'need'
•If your mentee says “I want you to talk to the VP for me”, the need could be protection (I'm too junior) or participation (do your part)
•Increase TERA quotient of conversation-Tribe, Expectation, Rank, Autonomy
5/7 Lazy question – How can I help?
•Avoid the common trap of being the rescuer. (other personas are victim and persecutor)
•Ironically, Rescuer creates victims.
•Continue asking – “I have some ideas but what are your first thoughts?”
6/7 Strategy question – If I say yes to this, what will I say no to?
•Subtle Qn to ensure you sign up for the right priority request
•Understand urgency & thoughtfulness of the ask
•This ensures mentee evaluates the ask more diligently
•Say no to the task, not the person
7/7 Learning question – what was most useful to you in this discussion? (my favorite one)
•To learn, retrieve.
•People learn when they have a chance to recall and reflect on what just happened.
•Create space for learning moments in every activity.
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