How To Give Negative Feedback Without Getting Resistance
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I could come online and say whatever I thought was true and not care what anybody has to say. Those that get triggered probably think what I said is true and it affects them as well. Those that simply agree might think it true or not, but most likely it does not affect them.
This is ONLINE.
In the real world, it doesnât always work like this. There are certain people with whom you can be brutally honest, no bullshitting.
In the real world, it doesnât always work like this. There are certain people with whom you can be brutally honest, no bullshitting.
You can tell them: âLook, youâre fat, and youâre lazy about it, this is not good for you. Take your training routine seriously,â and they wouldnât feel hurt by your comment (almost impossible to find people like this). But this isnât always effective.
Being brutally honest will make people avoid you, even when your honesty comes from a place of good intentions. Learning to give negative feedback without being met with heavy resistance is a social skill you must learn.
in order to convey all your comments to those you care about and ensure they receive them in good faith, rather than from a defensive point (which would defeat the purpose of those feedbacks.)
Read to learn how to give negative feedback without getting resistance:
Read to learn how to give negative feedback without getting resistance:
1 Start with something positive
âYouâre a STRONG man, I donât understand why you ALLOW people to mistreat you and get away with itâ sounds a lot better than âPeople just treat you like shit and get away with it.â
âYouâre a STRONG man, I donât understand why you ALLOW people to mistreat you and get away with itâ sounds a lot better than âPeople just treat you like shit and get away with it.â
Both are saying the same thing, but one highlights certain characteristics that help bring down your interlocutor's defenses.
Before you give someone negative feedback, give them positive feedback first and wait for some time.
Before you give someone negative feedback, give them positive feedback first and wait for some time.
Tell them how much you love their shoe and how nicely it goes with their shirt, then after some 10 minutes mention how âperhapsâ the trouser doesnât go so well with the shoes. Then get back to how nice their shoe is again.
Start with the positive, then the negative, and end with the positive.
If youâre interested in them actually receiving your opinions well, then this is the route to follow, otherwise, you can blurt out your opinions and nobody would care whether you were right or not.
If youâre interested in them actually receiving your opinions well, then this is the route to follow, otherwise, you can blurt out your opinions and nobody would care whether you were right or not.
2 Is it useful?
If the negative feedback is not useful, then why are bringing it to their attention. âYou have K-legs.â I imagine that must be some very useful piece of information that they probably werenât aware of previously. So what do you now propose we do about it?
If the negative feedback is not useful, then why are bringing it to their attention. âYou have K-legs.â I imagine that must be some very useful piece of information that they probably werenât aware of previously. So what do you now propose we do about it?
Very often people give feedback that is neither useful nor needed. Donât tell some they have freckles if youâre not going to suggest a way to get rid of them. Generally, if your feedback only highlights the obvious, then it is not useful feedback.
This person probably already knew about the problem. If youâre interested in helping them, highlight the problem and suggest a solution. That is how to give whole feedback. If you canât do this, then thereâs no need to start in the first place. Real-life is not the internet.
3 Donât if they are a stranger
If you donât have some sort of preexisting relationship with this person, and what you have to say is negative feedback, just shut up. Nobody is interested in what you have to say. Just mind your own business.
If you donât have some sort of preexisting relationship with this person, and what you have to say is negative feedback, just shut up. Nobody is interested in what you have to say. Just mind your own business.
No stranger is going to care that you think they shouldnât wear shorts outdoors, itâs none of your concern, and your opinion means nothing, plus you have no reason to care. Thatâs called being nosy.
4 Pick your words well
Lastly, if you want someone to receive the information well, learn to pick your words. You could use vulgar words when addressing an online anonymous audience, but that rarely works with people youâre seeing face-to-face in real life.
Lastly, if you want someone to receive the information well, learn to pick your words. You could use vulgar words when addressing an online anonymous audience, but that rarely works with people youâre seeing face-to-face in real life.
Instead of âyou look stupid in that outfitâ say âthat outfit doesnât look smart on you.â
Firstly, takes the responsibility off the person and puts it on the fact that the outfit is not a proper fit. Secondly, it avoids labeling the person with a derogatory word.
Firstly, takes the responsibility off the person and puts it on the fact that the outfit is not a proper fit. Secondly, it avoids labeling the person with a derogatory word.
When you use derogatory words, people are likely to get defensive and focus on that word rather than what you're trying to convey.
Learn to frame your words properly and pass them across graciously.
Learn to frame your words properly and pass them across graciously.
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